Wing Attack Plan R

"Madness! Madness!" and Other Holiday Musings

2012-01-02T12:05:00.001-06:00

Ganaway runs wild. Major Clifton would have been at home that night.

Made it through the "Holiday Season" which was once known as the "Christmas Season" prior to the onset of the reign of "No Hurt Feelings and Soccer Trophies for Everyone" in what passes for our national psyche. Made it, in the sense that we had only one screaming, hair pulling, semi-wrestling match between Daughter No. 1 and Daughter No. 2 this festive time of year, over--a pair of jeans. It was touch and go for a while, but neither employed the dreaded "Iron Claw" or scissors kick and it ended in a disqualification and a return to their neutral corners which fortunately reside on opposite ends of the house. Yours truly was the hapless referee without a bow tie, treading lightly on a bum knee and a keen eye for getting caught in the scrum and a return to Dr. Happy Scapel and his band of mule skinners at Texas Orthopedic Group ( I had been scoped and lightly gutted only days before).

I was alone for New Year's Eve as Mrs. Bulba and Daugher No. 1 were visiting her family in the Valley and Daughter No. 2 was at a friend's ranch along with fellow collegiates, happy to be away from law enforcement personnel and close to all of the Budweiser contraband they could smuggle. It's never a good thing when I'm on my own as I rapidly descend into a state much akin to a family dog left alone in the house--pretty soon, there's trash strewn about and I've eaten something poisonous and the couch is stained and torn. This time, due to said crippled knee I had ample time to view three seasons of "Mad Men," some random stuff about Germans and firearms on The Military Channel, and a couple of episodes of the "Game of Thrones" series on HBO which is as far as I can tell is designed to appeal to the mastubatory needs of the science fiction/fantasy game community at large. Mad Men is pretty good stuff--really, it's a 60's version of "Deadwood" set on Madison Avenue instead of the Dakotas Gold Rush. For me, it's a little easier to be sympathetic with the flawed characters of Deadwood since they at least had the excuse of living on the edge and close to a bullet or stab to the gullett. Don Draper in Mad Men does a lot of stabbing, himself but with a different kind of sword. Though well played, I don't care for the Peggy Olson character played by Elisabeth Moss. She has all of the joy of someone late for a civil rights meeting or a kale and radish soup recipe exchange. Entertaining, though and worth watching. I did so in the spirit of the proceedings, killling a bottle of Laphroig (neat) in the process. No Lucky Stikes, though.

Attended the Alamo Bowl in SA last week, capping off an epic season of viewing collegiate football in person and living to tell about it--if you are or were a Baylor graduate or student or unfortunately married to one like the long suffering Mrs. Bulba, you witnessed more excitement and on field drama than watching the combined editorial and "reporting" staff of the New York Times figuring out how to pour piss out of a boot. An opening game of aerial bombardment with TCU, a nail biter with Missouri, a miraculous victory over Oklahoma, a decisive win over their overlords of Mighty Texas all culminating in a spectacle of something resembling football but which was really a descent into madness, MADNESS in The House that Henry Cisneros Built in San Antonio last Thursday night (this guy captures it in all of its insane glory:http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2011/12/30/2669863/and-in-san-antonio-we-were-all-departed-for-four-hours). Essentially, two weapon enhanced high octane offenses came into contact with a like number of "defenses" bereft of talent and/or still hungover and the result was a frenzy of scoring and blood letting not known or seen before outside of a Cormac McCarthy novel. Record number of points, yards, dead cornerbacks, flattened linebackers, pancaked defensive tackles, and cardiac arrests--the lady sitting behind died a couple of times along the way. If you're a defensive asthetic and concerned with the bad taste of excitement in a game, you were surely disappointed. If you were there that fateful night, you did your best to simply hang on and live as the roller coaster plunged downward and off the tracks only to be hurled upward into the sky, and to be rinsed and repeated over and over until the thing ended with gnashed teeth and garbled wailing and finally balloons descending from the roof and everyone on both sides staggering out into the night, doing their best not to wonder too hard about what they witnessed--one somehow lived through the shelling and turned their thoughts to a quite meadow and a brook (or, a cactus flat and an arroyo seco if you're from Texas) and maybe watching "Antiques Roadshow" or vomiting or something. Never saw anything like it. Not sure I ever want to again. But, damn, it was something.

Didn't get any golf shit for Christmas and I'm thankful for that.

Bill Shakespeare, Gangsta

2011-11-17T10:19:00.002-06:00

"I'll bust a cap in Ben Johnson's ass"

So says this better than usual piece on what Shakespeare might or might not have been:http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/2011/11/william-shakespeare-gangster/. I always wonder what Mrs. Kahla, my not-put-up-with-any-bullshit English teacher in high school would say about something like this, or Professor Moore, my English Lit prof in college who sonnetized us repeatedly. Anyway, a good piece.

Today's random thoughts:
1. Major League Baseball agrees to the sale of the Astros with the condition that the franchise moves to the American League. A case of blatant thuggery on the part of a commissioner well known for being a no talent ass clown hack. Add that to your legacy, Bud Selig. You'll die one day and with any luck, your grave will be watered frequently.

2. The low life who fired shots at the White House was (surprise) a part of the Occupy movement or whatever they call themselves, though you'll have to dig through news stories for that fact to be officially revealed. I would like to ask those who hold strongly to the belief that there is no bias in news reporting to contrast what would have occurred had the shooter been identified as part of the Tea Party gang? If you need help answering that question, I'll only say that they would be building guillotines at the offices at the New York Times for each and every member of the Republican congressional delegation by now.

3. The Republican primary field, debates, campaigns, et al is just an awful assemblage of horribleness. Romney is their best hope and he has all the appeal of a sickly fence post. Obama can step all over his dick each and every day and still hit the sack at night giggling over the freak show the R's are running out, safe in the knowledge he'll be reelected by default.

4. If you're 18 and serving in the armed forces, you should be able to drink and smoke anything you want. If you're 18 and whining about corporate greed and the plight de jour of the day, you should be sent to a work camp and made to perform actual physical labor and read the Halliburton annual report.

5. The Marriott Hill Country Resort in far north San Antonio, is big, fairly impressive, and a glorified high priced clip joint. Stay someplace else.

6. Will not be flying this Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's (note that I did not say "Holiday Season"--it's "Merry Christmas, goddammit"). I'm thankful for that and will say a prayer for everyone who will endure the airport misery this time of year.

7. Played golf last week and hit the flag stick TWICE on par three holes. Both times, the ball bounced off the stick and into the crap off the green. I loathe the sport.

8. Heading to Lajitas in a few weeks. No intention at this point of running guns to the Zetas when I'm down there.

9. My life would be happier if Joy Behar and others like her went to heaven or someplace other than earth.

10. College football season is mostly done. You wait all year for it to get here and it seems like the schedule's over before you know it. Sigh.

11. The Christmas season officially kicks off after Thanksgiving and that begins with Mrs. Bulba ordering me into the attic to fetch all of the seasonal accouterments, otherwise known by Mr. Bulba as "The Christmas Shit" (CS). Shortly afterwards, the tree will arrive which hastens the annual argument over the stringing of lights, ornaments, and other parts of the aforementioned CS. I already need several drinks just thinking about it. The tree stands in the room that I seldom go in for fear of sitting on the furniture or displacing some random decorative item that Mrs. Bulba has stationed where I would think a tumbler of scotch would go. Lots of people have these rooms--when I was a kid, some of the brats from better homes had them; with nice furniture and couches and chairs covered in that tightly wrapped plastic material designed to keep mechanic's grease and dog shit stains at bay. Alas, no plastic on our furniture in this room in our house now but it's only a matter of time before I track something in there.

Inside the Lines

2011-10-12T16:06:00.003-05:00

Eduardo "El Gato" Romero in happier times

Played in the pro-am portion of the just completed Insperity Senior PGA Championship at the TPC Woodlands outside of Houston. For anyone wondering about what it's like or is thinking of playing in one themselves, here are some points to consider:
1. When you walk up to the range, remember pros to the right, amateurs to the left. I tried to station myself to the farthest left possible in order to minimize the chance of shanking one into Curtis Strange and him spontaneously combusting due to his well known red ass factor. I think I actually saw steam coming off his head while he was talking to his caddie; probably about some infraction involving an improperly cleaned five iron.
2. On the putting green, I found myself next to one of the greatest putters of all time, the "Boss of the Moss," Loren Roberts. All I could think of was to not strike a misguided, idiotic putt into his line. I then struck a misguided, idiotic putt straight into Mark O'Meara's line and...into his ball. I thought about going off and sitting under a tree somewhere for the next six hours away from good and decent people, something the B60 putter I was "using" wouldn't have minded a bit.
3. On the number one tee box, it's advisable not to snap hook your drive into the pines on a dogleg right par four. Outstanding start, Red Team, outstanding. I did, however avoid vomiting, so I had that going for me.
4. Not sure hitting approximately 37,000 chips the week before worked out all that well as my first attempt at such in the tournament skipped merrily across the green and into the rough on the other side. Fortunately, the professional we were with (Eduardo "El Gato" Romero) knew to avert his eyes whenever I engaged in anything resembling a chip or putt. Smart man, El Gato.
5. You're playing in front of fans who are there to see the pros but are also forced to endure amateurs hacking their way around the course. It's awful for everyone involved no matter how much you imagine yourself as invisible after clanking some grotesque shot off yet another random conifer. The good ones all seem to come when everyone is at the concession stand or scratching themselves or something.
6. I did shoot better than the pro on a couple of holes which meant I wouldn't later have to shoot myself in the parking lot. It's the small things...

Neither the B60, nor I could look at one another after the round

7. Romero ended up coming in third in the rain shortened tournament that was called on Sunday. Must have been due to all of those great swing thoughts he got from watching me. Not.

Senna

2011-08-29T11:05:00.001-05:00

Go see it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1424432/. Even if you don't care a damn about the world of Formula One racing, it's a riveting documentary that plays like a well written novel. Heroes and villains--Ayrton Senna, the brilliant Brazilian driver who overcomes the blatant treachery of the French driver, Alain Prost and fellow conspirator and outright rat bastard president of the Formula One organization, Jean-Marie Balestare. A much better movie experience than most of what we've sat through this summer.

Other weekend stuff:
Superb weather in Austin. 111 on Saturday and 112 on Sunday. Outstanding, Red Team, outstanding! Only supposed to be 109 the next two days. A cool front arrives and we'll be down to the high 90's by this next weekend. Allegedly. Maybe we can then wear sweater vests and admire Fall colors.

Played golf yesterday, walking the course carrying my golf bag. Great decision making in action there--apparently lost every mineral in my body during that stunt and had massive cramping later that afternoon. Solution: pickle juice. Not that bad, either. Next time, I'll add vodka to it. And, maybe forget the golf.

College tackle football kicks off this weekend, and Mrs. Bulba and I will officially be in attendance. I'll let you know if I get arrested. Boola-boola.

Dove hunting begins on Thursday. I'll be there with shotgun and shells but can pretty much guarantee that no animals will be harmed during the production of that event. However, many beers will surely die that day. I'll let you know if I get shot and arrested.

Kinky on Perry

2011-08-26T10:14:00.001-05:00

This may catch some people by surprise:http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/08/24/kinky-friedman-rick-perry-s-got-my-vote.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+thedailybeast%2Farticles+%28The+Daily+Beast+-+Latest+Articles%29.

In other news, it's Friday and I'm damn ready for a drink.

Jerry!

2011-08-12T15:28:00.001-05:00

Great, great interview with Jerry Lewis:http://www.gq.com/entertainment/humor/201108/jerry-lewis-interview-gq-august-2011?printable=true&currentPage=1. I disagree with the French--I liked him best not in "The Nutty Professor," but in Scorcese's underrated, "King of Comedy." See it sometime--Lewis is outstanding, playing a New York nighttime TV host and the subject of a muddleheaded kidnapping.

Odds and ends:

It's hot. Damn hot. Most of the plant and animal world has pretty much said, "F*** it, I'm tired of living" and has decided to just haul off and die. I decided to use an asterisk in that sentence less someone think I was typing "fuck" or some other bad word. Just wanted to clarify that.

College football gets here in three weeks and our long national nightmare will end. Most importantly, college football tailgating gets here. I'll do a fair amount of it this "fall" (we don't really have fall here--instead we go into "more summer") though Mrs. Bulba has expressed an interest in no longer using a Port-a-Can unless she's in a forced labor camp, so I'll be dropping her off with Daughter #2 who is also attending my Alma mater. They'll spend that time doing the ritual coloring of nails and other stuff that's outside my field of qualifications and I'll do my best to not be caught ogling eye candy, screaming, or vomiting beside the truck when they both show up before the game. Probably should of thought about that when she was picking out colleges--will have to behave.

We're getting more and more into the presidential campaign swing--the R's just got through having a debate. I think it's time when everyone should learn to get along and be friends with people of opposite political persuasions, even though that person is obviously dumb as a goddamn shovel. I'm friends with lots of people who I'm sure think that of me and vice versa. Well maybe vice and not versa, but you get the drift. Yes, let's all be Americans and hold hands and be friends, etc. Except, some things are just unpardonable. So:

We can't be friends if you like Kenny Chesney. People have to listen to Kenny Chesney in Hell, so if you listen to Kenny Chesney it proves that you're nothing but a goddamned Satan worshipper bent on spreading the dominion of evil in God's country. In Europe, Kenny Chesney partners with ABBA, so the same applies there.

We can't be friends if you like "The Princess Diaries" and Ann(e) Hathaway. I don't want to get into all of it, but I had to go to that movie when it came out and it stole roughly two of the best hours out of my life and expanded them to twenty years. I would have paid good money to have been beaten with a board or repeatedly kicked in the groin in lieu of that experience or at least been able to smoke Camel non-filters for all of these years. Hathaway should be cloistered in a convent somewhere in Albania, making wart balm and brooms and listening to ABBA for the rest of her days.

We can't be friends if you say, "Amazing" in every other sentence, especially if you are someone over thirty. Under that age, it's a points system deal based on other levels of obnoxiousness and personal grooming. Speaking of personal grooming--note to the twenty something generation and I'm talking about white twenty somethings--please accept the concept of showering and hygiene. It seems that black people and Hispanics are on board with washing their ass on a daily basis but Kevin and Kristen on their way to the co-op are a little less so, preferring to spend that time syncing their iPhone and listening to instructions from Jon Stewart. Anyway, learn a new word every now and then. I first noticed this about ten years ago and it's become a national disgrace--no one can conjure up an adjective to describe anything ranging from a notable event to a bowel movement other than the A word.

We can't be friends if you are a pod builder--the person who does not comprehend the concept of the left lane is for passing, instead creating a traffic pod for the twenty or so cars behind him or her. If we were truly a successful nation, we would have cargo helicopters patrolling our highways, snatching slow vehicles in the left lane and depositing them in large lots where their drivers would then be herded into re-education camps to be instructed on driving etiquette and not being a jackass.

We can be friends if you're the guy who invented DQ soft serve ice cream, served in a cone. Tastes good with a Shiner.

Happy Motoring.

War in Hipstamatic

2011-07-28T11:11:00.000-05:00

Photos of the Afghanistan War in Hipstamatic:http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/07/25/the_war_in_hipstamatic.

I'll resist going into another rant about the enormous suck that is the "nation" of Afghanistan. I'll simply say bless all of our service personnel there. Especially, our snipers.

Scattershooting About Jim Beam and Other Summer Fun

2011-07-22T15:30:00.000-05:00

A sweet tune from Grantland, a great new site:http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6769890/on-whiskey-grease. I don't think I've had a snort of Jim Beam since high school. Back then, it was our killer spirit of choice--we were much too low class and broke to afford Jack Black and other premium juice at the ignorant redneck/black/Hispanic school I attended. The drill was to pour out half a can of Coke and replace said volume with JB, enjoy, and repeat until properly medicated for erratic driving down dark, county roads until you met an onward vehicle piloted by a kindred spirit. Or, a Harris County deputy, or both. In those days, run ins with the law brought hellacious tongue lashings, swift violence at the first sign of back talk (there was none), threats of loss of family reputation and ruin (as if we'd be disinherited from an oil field), and always the rendering of the contents of the pint (or half pint if the dollars were real tight) onto the ground or pavement right in front of you. Notice, that nowhere were we cuffed, or arrested or catapulted into the legal system--the shit got settled right then and there. A better system? Maybe, maybe not but reprobates these days have to play by the rules, and their proud moms and dads get to hire attorneys. Give me a call if you need the name of a good one.

The author of the article waxes over the taste of that last bottle of Jim Beam as the final tangible remembrances of his old man--not sure if I would have shared the last drop with a fellow from South America or South Dallas or wherever but that's his bidness. For me, I've got a fair amount of stuff from my old man--his Kabar knife from the Corps ("I guarantee that this knife never killed a Jap"), some badges and other items from his days in the fire department, some guns--that sort of thing. But, when I really, really want to step back in time--and I don't do this but every so often, I go out to my storage shed, to the back of a middle row of items I'll mostly never use again and find his old, homemade tackle box. I make sure it's quiet and I'm alone and lean down when I open it--not to better see the old lures and hooks and weights of days gone by but to get that smell of salt water and reel grease and the Demetria of a time and place that no longer exists--the smell of memories--of wading into mud flats at 5AM, of old Coleman lanterns, of minnow buckets, and pith helmets and khakis and Johnson Sprites and stringers of Specks. The frequent reminder, "Don't horse him!" when you were tied on to a big one, the crushing disappointment when you lost one at the end of a spectacular fight, and how grand you felt when you were praised in the company of grown men. Those memories; there's a thousand of them and they stay mostly hidden and locked away but it's nice to know that I have a box in a shed out back that I can open for them to fill the sky for a while. Like that flight of Rosetta Spoonbills that I never got tired of seeing.

Other items:
Some recommended viewing this summer--
1. "Swamp People" on the History Channel. Ripping entertainment featuring mostly authentic Cajuns during the 30 day alligator season in Louisiana. Subtitles are provided but if, like me, you're a product of generations of white trash breeding you'll understand 'em just fine.
2. "Deadwood" on HBO On Demand. Watch it to remind yourself how good a series can be and reflect on the spectacularly bad decision to cease its production. David Milch should be drawn and quartered.
3. Saw "Bridesmaids." Some genuinely funny scenes and overall tolerable. Much better than "Hangover II."

Politics:
I'm calling the 2012 election for Obama right now. Unless, of course, Romney renounces the Mass. health exchange, endorses polygamy, calls for the legalization of weed, and orders the carpet bombing of France. Then, maybe we have a ballgame.

I've been watching my diet and starting to work out again after multiple sessions of "Fun with your Orthopedic Surgeon" over the last six months. Fell off the wagon briefly one Saturday evening--ended up at DQ and ordered not only a large cone but also a large vanilla shake. Yes, I did that. The shame of it all. Worse yet, that was pretty much the highlight of my weekend. Oh, except for the episode I had with a fairly sizable band of wasps. Seems I was wrapping up some yard work when I opened a storage door that conveniently had a large wasp nest on the inside. Turned rapidly (or semi-rapidly, I'm 53), lunged, tripped, rolled, staggered, ran, limped--it was all there including terrific gashes on my foot--the only reason the horde of wasps did not sting the ever loving shit out of me was because they were laughing their collective wasp asses off at the sight of Mr. Lawn Doofus performing his odd brand of interpretive dance. Great fun all around including limping around for ten or so days.

A Visit from Coronado...

2011-05-03T18:28:00.003-05:00

This photo has nothing to do with the blog entry other than as a late reminder to bin Laden that there is nothing like this young lady in Hell

...no, not the Spaniard, but the boys from the Naval base in Coronado aka "Seal Team Six" aka "We're Such Badasses We Cannot Be Named" paid an early morning house call on Bin Laden with a refreshing double tap to the head and body of our current dirt bag of the century. The President announced the news an hour or two after everybody knew it, forfeiting the opportunity of a thrilling thunderbolt in order for his handlers/speech makers/men in waiting to craft a message fit for the 2012 campaign. But, as Brett Stephens points outhttp://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704436004576298743812732446.html?mod=ITP_opinion_0, that's quibbling, and I like his take more than anyone else I've read on the subject, which includes giving Obama his due--he didn't micromanage the deal into the dirt ala President Jimmy--and he stuck with his guns on eschewing a surgical drone strike on Hacienda Usama in order to have a real live swinging dick American perform last rites. I also like Stephens' riff on the concept of "justice" versus "vengeance." Good stuff. Whatever you think it was, the fact that bin Laden is taking a water nap is good news all around, and particularly rejoiced by boys and livestock of Pakistan and every other stan.

Don't expect this to make a significant difference in Afghanistan--al Queda isn't a big player there and since the Seals allegedly walked away from the bin Laden raid with a trove of info on that band of shitbirds, they're all probably diving for the nearest cave with all due speed--the president won't need a person to person encounter to prove their demise--a missile up the rectal cavity will do just fine. So, that leaves the Taliban to cast their special brand of love around that lovely latrine pit of a country combined with the current ridiculous rules of engagement that the big thinkers have in place--our guys can't fire at a known terrorist unless he's holding a gun. What a way to run a war--we never learn. In that spirit, all you need to know about Afghanistan can be found in Fraser's first installment of the "Flashman" series--the "nation" is and has been a shithole of historic proportions, solidly resisting moving into the 8th through 20th centuries and into this one in favor of a steady policy of boy and goat rape and keeping their women tied to a plow. Great folks, the Afghans, Pashtans, Dicktans, what have you. Proudly ignorant and secure in the premise that the measure of a man is which hand he wipes his ass with. We can throw every dollar that China lends us into the joint and they'll turn it all into a dung heap within hours of our departure. Not. Worth. A. Single. American. Life. In fact, they are not worthy to clean the cesspools of our military men and women "lucky" enough to draw duty there. Rant over. Think I've included enough scatological references? Probably not.

I'm not sure which is worse--if you're a Democrat having to react to what comes out of Republican Senator Lindsay Graham's mouth, or if you're a Republican having to react to what comes out of Republican Senator Lindsay Graham's mouth. Talk about a loose cannon--his entire staff is probably being treated for irritable bowel syndrome. Also, I like the 19th century term for hemorrhoids--"piles." Also, "consumption" for tuberculosis. I guess dying of consumption with a stiff case of the piles wouldn't be pleasant. Robert E. Lee allegedly had piles and a heart attack at Gettysburg which was bad enough for him but fairly serious for the boys making the ill-fated charge he ordered up Cemetery Ridge on the third day of the battle. Next time I go to the doctor (that seems to be an increasing event) I'm going to indicate "piles" as the complaint when asked by the perky receptionist and just enjoy the reaction. It's the small things that make life worth living.

We have an owl box in our backyard and a screech owl is in there sitting on her nest. She tends to stick her head out and look at me when I'm doing some chore or just sitting on the patio with a drink. She doesn't seem to mind me--I make far fewer sudden movements now than when I was in my twenties (or thirties or forties) unless of course I'm engaged in some violent act related to an appliance. She also watches our dog with a mixture of amusement and contempt, no doubt wishing she was part of a larger owl species or an eagle or something. Then, she would be eying dinner.

I've been watching various HBO series on the Time Warner "On Demand" channel. Fun to watch them back to back. Lately, it's been "Entourage" which fairly skewers Hollywood types and the place as a whole. Jeremy Pivin as "Ari Gold" is gold, Jerry, gold! Also, watched a couple of excellent documentaries on mega-producers, Jerry Weintraub and Robert Evans.

Spent the Easter weekend at South Padre, along with the entire state of Nuevo Leon--Monterrey owns most of the island and they were there in force during Semana Santa--the weeks before and after Easter Sunday. We were there late Thursday night ahead of the rush; Friday and Saturday afternoon trips from Port Isabel across the causeway took two and three hours. The shrewd minds running the road crews down there thought it would be a smashing idea to conduct routine painting along the guardrails DURING THE BUSIEST THREE DAYS OF THE YEAR, reducing the trip across to the island to one lane. Outstanding, Red Team, outstanding! It was a real cluster which meant it kept my sorry ass from visiting the Wal-Mart in Port Isabel or buying a kite or something. Wade fished the Laguna Madre with my ace fishing brother in law and daughter No. 2 and was delighted to watch her skunk both of us. It sort of hit home--I immediately recalled the thrill my old man would get when I would hook on to something big and wondered then why he didn't seem to get the same sense of enjoyment when he, himself caught something. She had that same look of wonder and amusement of why I was more excited netting her fish than she was catching them. Now, I know. Life marches on.

All Hell Breaks Loose on Avenida Zacateros

2011-04-20T12:30:00.005-05:00

It had been fairly quiet until then, that is, our second visit to San Miguel de Allende, a haven for Americanos who like the colonial Mexico that comes without too many flies. I drove here back in December of 2004, but that was before the cartels took ownership of la fronterra and made the stretch between Nuevo Laredo and Monterrey a little dicey. Great drive--mostly on the cuota with spectacular scenery--you can make it from the border to San Miguel in nine hours and I hope to do it again once either the Gulf Cartel or the Zetas take sole possession and things quieten down. This time, we flew to Leon where the hotel picked us up for the approximate 90 minute drive through some really drought stricken country--think Texas times two.
We stayed at a new joint that is run by the Rosewood people--hoity toity types who think they're a cut above everyone else. It was certainly nice and new and the people were swell but you miss a little of San Miguel when your plumbing and a/c work perfectly and you never trip over that step that's a couple of inches different than the one before. That said, the hotel had a men's toilet facility just down the stairs from our room which was quickly identified and pointed out to me by Mrs. Bulba for my use and enjoyment during the length of our stay. I suppose this is a mostly universal occurrence; that whenever possible women will do whatever it takes to avoid any restroom facility recently visited by the male of the species. Yes, Virginia, men are pigs. Otherwise, like the rest of the hotels and restaurants in one of the premier destinations in Mexico, it was about a quarter occupied during the week (the uber-rich chilangos from Mexico City sort of fill up the place on weekends). Yep, a sour economy and fear of multiple gunshot wounds can do that.
The chief attraction of the place is the fascinating architecture as you meander along the winding streets--the Mexicans were way ahead of the curve and recognized the uniqueness of the city way back in the 1920s, preventing any substantial change that would detract from what was and is there. The gringos took to it after American GIs after WWII, found that they could get an art degree at an accredited school there, living cheaply and being generally unkempt and drunk and pleased with not having a bomb dropped on them. Anyway, lots of art types, art galleries, artistes, art-a-ramas in San Miguel, along with chingas of shops dedicated to separating pesos from your wallet. That's what we were doing on yet another day when just up ahead a few blocks, the proverbial shit hit the fan. People running, sirens blasting, screams, the whole shooting match. Essentially, at the juncture of Zacateros and and Codo, some kind of circus outfit that was in the process of trolling through town to advertise their arrival ran into a bit of unexpected trouble--it seems the truck pulling the two open barred cars containing three tigers and a lone jaguar became disconnected, an event apparently unknown to the driver who continued on happily, while the cat cars slid to a halt with the doors open to the urban wilds of Greater San Miguel. The possible impending doom of this event did not escape the nearby food vendors who packed up with a speed not seen since the insurgentes rolled into town during the last revolution. What saved a tragic (but also what would have been a spectacularly entertaining) event was that the unseasonably high temps (if you want a record heat wave, just ask Mrs. Bulba and I to book a flight to your city) that had the tigers and jaguar in a funk--they were sapped and pretty much decided to pass on the local fare and go with the regularly scheduled menu--running down food vendors on a hot day is an uncertain thing; some of them can turn out stringy and they go bad quickly. As you might expect, sorting out the carnage took a while--the police on the scene had a helluva time making sense of it, but eventually the animal cars were re-hitched, the cages closed, and the the Greatest Show on El Mundo rolled on.
Notable in San Miguel are the far fewer touristas since the prior visit and a shocking scarcity of Texans--I counted three Texas plates the entire time I was there--apparently, I'm not the only one a little shy about motoring south through Nuevo Leon. No, most of the Americans seem to be from recently arrived flights out of San Francisco or somewhere up north. And, most all of them are in the 40+ range--San Miguel is not exactly a party destination. Many of the women are wearing some sort of eco based fabric made out of hemp or cardboard or something. A lot of them appear to be attempting to recreate a hippie phase that either once did or did not exist prior to marrying (and divorcing) a fairly successful patent attorney. I'd overhear snippets of their conversations while sitting at some outdoor cafe on El Jardin (the central plaza) and the air would be pierced by a lot of terms like "empowerment" or other lame Oprahisms--the kind of stuff that instantly drives me bat shit crazy. The men are mostly like Larry David, being generally unfriendly towards any other American face but fawning over an authentic local, obliviously tone deaf to their reverse racism. Maybe that's too strong for it--let's just say they reflect the civility of where they're from. Speaking of which, the hotel would deliver the condensed version of the New York Times, designed for cruise and resort passengers worldwide and I'd eye it every morning while having breakfast at the dive I discovered one day (40 pesos and damn good bacon). If you read the Times every day, you may be immune to it, but if you're part of the great unwashed and prone to reading lesser publications, it can be an entertaining diversion. The reporting carries just a tad bit of shade and the editorials read like instructional posts for their subscribers. The best of the Times, in my humble opinion, are the quirky pieces on some obscure sport or pastime, or place. The crossword puzzle is nice, too.

Tiger siesta on Zacateros. Note the spiffy policia motorcycle.

Made it back despite the best efforts of Continental Airlines--flying is a contact sport.

White Trash

2011-04-08T15:14:00.000-05:00

Not bad on Elvis. Manson looks like a guy who works in a bicycle repair shop

I've got to see this: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/lstranahan/2011/04/07/review-the-wild-and-wonderful-whites-of-west-virginia-a-good-film-about-bad-people/. It's probable that I'm related to these people. Explains a lot.

Gandhi and Jane Eyre in the Light of Day

2011-04-07T17:10:00.000-05:00

A pretty interesting look at Gandhi the man, not Gandhi the demi-god:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703529004576160371482469358.html. Everybody, probably especially great people deserve some slack, but Gandhi was a seriously weird dude. He'd be right at home in the 21st century.
Other weird and random thoughts:
Saw the latest version of "Jane Eyre" with Mrs. Bulba last weekend. Probably the most faithful to the Bronte story and certainly the most realistic in terms of light and setting but it's still Jane Eyre and was overwrought when it was written and simply turgid by today's standards. Also, English chicks need a lot of makeup and the stuff is wholly missing in this film, with the obvious horrific results. Lots of cruelty aimed toward young Jane and I've figured out that women like seeing that mean stuff--it bothers me to see it depicted but I've observed that it really doesn't bother females--they sort of like it. Mars and Venus.

There are a pair of screech owls nesting in the owl box we put up in an oak tree in our backyard, with its opening facing our kitchen's bay window. The female stares at me a lot when I'm sitting at the table, with that owl look of examination and focus, no doubt settling on the exact spot to pierce the soft underbelly once I keel over while moving some pot or other large object that Mrs Bulba thinks should be somewhere else. Like Jane Eyre, nature is also very cruel.

While Betty is fine, I still think that Veronica is really hot. Also, I've noticed that Wendy has been tarted up in the Wendy's commercials I've seen over the past few years. She definitely has that knowing look that just wasn't there when the old man was still alive. I predict cleavage for her in the next series of commercials and maybe a tie in with Sketchers.

Wagons West

2011-03-23T10:10:00.000-05:00

Great photos of the Dakotas around 1890http://blogs.denverpost.com/captured/2011/02/23/from-the-archive-frontier-life-in-the-west/2713/.

Cheyenne chiefs about 15 years after reading Custer the riot act

Deadwood appears to be in full bloom, much advanced from the "camp" days as depicted in the HBO dramatic series which takes place in the late 1870s. What a great three season run--the creators pulled the plug for their own reasons and should be shot for doing so--I'd like to see Al Swearingen once again greet a new day.

Station Wagons

2011-03-15T11:48:00.001-05:00

This guy says that station wagons are done and semi-laments their passing:http://www.thesmartset.com/article/article03091101.aspx. Great article.
Most every familia Americanas has had at one time or another a station wagon. As a kid, I recall a '62 or '63 or 60 something Ford Fairlane station wagon, mostly because my dad seemed to cuss at it a lot, which was saying something because he was always mostly unhappy and using a lot of cuss words which I dutifully studied and admired for their nearly always perfect inflection and execution. The station wagon was later largely replaced by his take on the SUV which was his mounting a real ugly ass camper in the bed of a straight six '67 Chevy pickup truck. We took one of those Western vacations in it one summer, going to Yellowstone and all that and I rode 99% of the way in the camper, seeing actual hills and mountains as opposed to the flatness of H-town. Only threw up once in it. Later, at the urging (constant whining) of Mrs. Bulba, I succumbed to the lure of station wagon chic by buying a used '93 (I think) Volvo station wagon which was fine when it was running but it seemed to always have some sort of Euro engine tweek thing going and it longed for frequent labor stoppages and a correct chablis. Then, like most of my fellow Red State trash, I opted for the pure SUV route, riding high on the road and making frequent trips to Home Depot. That was about all she wrote for the station wagon era.

Go ahead and Drive that Mercury Cruiser right up to the pool--the chicks dig it

The best thing about station wagons were the outstanding ad campaigns devised to extol their virtues--essentially that station wagons meant that anything was possible. You could live in them, cook in them, sleep (notice I'm being polite here) in them, and haul all sorts of sporting equipment, animals (both living and recently shot), and loads of children large and small and their accouterments while seeing America and searching for clean restrooms. By the way, please note for the record that we made annual trips to Alabama from Texas to see my mom's family and the restrooms in Louisiana from around 1960 through most of the '70s were about as horrific as I've seen and that includes the toilet scene in "Trainspotters." But, I digress and Geaux Tigers and it's still a good policy not to have to take a dump in the Pelican State--wait 'til you make it to Hattiesburg. Anyway, great photos of people experiencing the outdoors, courtesy of their Chevy land yacht, or in this photo, a guy in a suit driving up to his swimming pool--no better way to score babes than that.

NPR Stuff

2011-03-09T15:08:00.002-06:00

Things are a little exciting these days over at NPR. They've lost two Schillers thus far, though Ira Glass and Terri Gross are hanging tight.http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/03/09/134388981/npr-ceo-vivian-schiller-resigns. Nefarious Republican operatives (are there any other kind?) sort of made things unpleasant for the virtuous types running public radio, stinging Ron Schiller into running smack against the knuckle draggers in flyover country--this happening on Vivian Schiller's watch, who was also instrumental in the ham handed firing of ANALYST Juan Williams. You may recall that Williams was run by Vivian after expressing concern of flying with Muslims dressed in their "traditional garb" (he did not share any sentiments regarding having to fly with Yankee or Red Sox fans in their traditional garb which is highly distressing to most Americans but that is another story). Apparently, Schiller and the kind and gentle souls at NPR don't know or don't distinguish between being a REPORTER versus being an ANALYST. I can believe this because I've frequently heard stuff during a news "report" that was more in the realm of "analyzing" or "commentating," another term that gets a little play now and then. Anyway, the R's in Congress are having a blast and throwing their weight around about this maybe being the time to finally defund NPR due to a perceived lack of objective reporting and the fact that the United States of America is broke as hell and doesn't need to be shelling out dollars for guys and gals dressed in corduroy and birkenstocks to "report" news items and say nasty things about fat cat Republicans. A few random thoughts:
1. Ron Schiller had his pants all the way down to his ankles during the sting, not only revealing his disposition toward obviously unenlightened conservatives, but as well as his candid view that NPR did not need government funding. I agree with his sentiment. In fact, I think that NPR would thrive without it--it would eliminate the silly pretense that NPR is some kind of objective source of news which it is not and please don't be so tone deaf to believe that it is. NPR appeals to an audience that is left or center left at best and they would be a lot happier if NPR went whole hog in that direction and more dollars would pour in if they became what Air America never was--an established far flung network with a news mantra somewhere between The New York Times and Mother Jones and with the latest in alternative and world music and ruminations from entertainment scolds like Garrison Keillor. Dare to be bold, NPR--those neanderthals over at Fox are making a shitload of coin and think of that nice loft you could buy next to that free trade coffee shop and down the block from that guy named "Evan" who wears a beret and has a cat and a Prius and takes a shower every other day to save the planet.
2. Ever listen to "Fresh Air" with Terri Gross? She's had some great guests over the years and fun every now and then to catch one of her shows. The funny thing is, that regardless of who she's interviewing it seems like you're bound to hear the question, "So, what was it like growing up in the South as a black man?" I can swear she asked Vladimir Putin that one time. Maybe not, but Terri can get a little predictable.

Former NPR Prez, Vivian Schiller

3. There's not a lot of gals named, "Vivian Schiller" in flyover country. Reminds me of former head NOW-gal, Eleanor Schmeal. Not sure that a very large conference room of talented screenwriters could come up with names that perfect to head these organizations--it might not hurt the folks at NPR and NOW and a few other groups to maybe get out a little more often. Eat some barbecue. Hire a guy named, "Randy" or "Sonny" from Lubbock or Fort Smith. Go all day without once having "angst." Shoot a gun. Learn to throw not like a girl. Couldn't hurt.
Update: http://dailycaller.com/2011/03/09/surprise-new-npr-interim-ceo-a-democratic-political-contributor/#ixzz1G8bt2qaA

Kennedy and the 109

2011-03-07T15:18:00.003-06:00

An interesting and (I thought) balanced piece on President Kennedy's service aboard the PT-109http://www.historynet.com/pt-109-disaster.htm/print/. Essentially, Kennedy could have avoided combat via his old man's connections but he wanted (and got) something in the Pacific Theater. As a commanding officer, he was a loose cannon and the 109 was cut in two by a Japanese destroyer and Kennedy and his men were left adrift in dangerous waters. Then, to his credit, he successfully and bravely looked out for them until they were rescued. I thought the article summed it all up pretty well--both the blemishes and the bright spots. Then, you read the follow up letters and you'd think what was written was either a puff piece or on the other hand, evil muckracking yellow journalism. Do people read anymore? I wonder.

Legendary cocksman and future President Kennedy aboard the PT-109

Saw "Cedar Rapids" this weekend. Generally okay--some laughs but wait for it on HBO or Cinemax or whatever when you're not surfing for something less idiotic than was on the previous station. It's hard, but give it a try. Did watch "A Serious Man," an effort by the Coen Brothers that I had completely missed. It's a heavily Jewcentric effort and not for everyone but I found it fascinating. I'm thinking it was probably the Coens dredging up some memories and characters from childhood to go with a story about a wound too tight college physics professor and his family in the mid sixties. They nailed the period pretty good--the houses, cars, etc. are dead on. Also, "F Troop" on the television. In black and white, of course. We had black and white at my house then--the old man was convinced that color TV was a passing fad. He missed on that one. He also had a dismal record in buying cars--each was more awful than the last--and had certifiably rotten luck when it came to hunting and fishing and we did a lot of it together, so I know. But, like President Kennedy, he made it back from the Pacific War alive, and that was saying something. Lots of young guys with piss and vinegar and cut out to be future presidents did not.

Oscars, etc.

2011-02-28T08:38:00.003-06:00

Joe Queenan wrote this piece prior to the annual Oscars shindig where acting types congratulate each other for careers spent playing pretend for a living.http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704409004576146331571019642.html Well, that's not entirely fair, but I liked Queenan's piece when he wrote it, probably because I pretty much agreed with everything he said which establishes me as some type of lackey or something. Anyway, Queenan thought/thinks that last night's big winner, "The King's Speech" is a swell "Masterpiece Theater" caliber vehicle suitable for Sunday night viewing on your local PBS pledge drive station but it doesn't stack up to the entertainment offered in either "The Fighter" or "True Grit." Agreed--saw all of them and the thought that occurred to me was that this is going to play out in the same way that it did when "Shakespeare in Love" won best picture over a field that included "Saving Private Ryan." I've seen the former exactly once--in the theater--and it was nice and English and all but nothing compared to the latter which I've probably watched a dozen times and I'm guessing I'm not the only one in that category. I've read that the Academy voters are compelled through guilt or feelings of inferiority or something to do with Ambien or whatever to give greater consideration to British productions--we're talking about idiots here--and maybe that's right but nevertheless disappointing when they miss the boat on outstanding stuff that's sitting right in front of them.
In the meantime, can't wait to see "True Grit" again.
What else? Let's see--took in "The Chieftains" this past Friday night. Was prepared to be thoroughly underwhelmed and early indications that evening seemed to confirm that prediction. The venue was the Riverbend Center which is an auditorium constucted on the grounds of Riverbend Church to host secular events and such--essentially a damn good idea by the Baptists to churn bucks out of the heathen community. Problem is that the strongest thing you can buy at the goddamn Riverbend Center is coffee and bottled water and I had not properly pre-gamed for that reality when Mrs. Bulba and I showed up at the door. Interesting crowd we soon discovered, heavily nerd-centric with lots of guys and gals who probably still own their first slide rule. Dreadful opening "act" featuring a young songstress who moaned out navel gazing lyrics highly suitable for sipping free trade coffee while handing out "Hands Off Cuba!" leaflets. Five (5) songs of this and it was mercifully time for The Chieftains, or what is left of them (I think they're down to two of the original Chieftains) as they are accompanied by four or five other demi-Chiefs. I thought maybe they'd dutifully hammer out an hour of some of their new stuff with a few old standards mixed in and call it an evening--these boys are getting up there in age, after all. No, instead it was a damn fine evening of entertainment which included some fine Irish dancing, great, great side musicians from Nashville, etc., a fine looking Irish babe who could really sing, and even a 30 piece drum and bagpipe corps. In other words, an effort that Garrison Keilor could only wish he could produce. A good time was had by all and we were out of there by 10:30 and I was drinking Laphroig by 10:45.

Top Talk

2011-02-23T12:14:00.000-06:00

Hope they play forever: http://tracesoftexas.com/myblog/?p=142.

Bias in Academia?

2011-02-14T14:39:00.000-06:00

You're shittin' me, right? http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/08/science/08tier.html?_r=4&src=me&ref=homepage. Apparently, the NYT discovers something. Pigs fly.

Just returned from the annual all male, though still largely heterosexual ski conclave, with this year's version in Park City, Utah. No one was maimed or killed which was a success in itself. Yours truly did get clipped not by an idiot snowboarder but by some fellow geriatric type which resulted in the privilege of eating about fifty yards of snow on one of the endless runs off of the King Con lift line. Always interesting to note the various fleeting thoughts as you're sliding down the mountain--mine were largely in the areas of "this doesn't feel all that terrible" and "maybe drinking all that scotch wasn't such a bad idea after all."
It's a trip that the wives are ecstatic that they're not included on and that's saying something in that they are usually highly pissed when we're having fun with them not around. No, they much enjoy not being around men bent on eating as much bacon as possible, skiing up and down the mountain on a continuous loop between 9am and 4pm, and afterwards eating mounds of animal protein and throwing down single malt scotch products and then screaming curse words at one another over cards. Noteworthy, is that I have not yet mentioned the other principal pursuits of the trip which include manufacturing a poisonous amount of natural gas and the ensuing strain on both the internal plumbing of the unfortunate owners of the rented condominium and the public works department of Park City, itself. They're glad we're out of town.
We'll do it again next year.

Missing Olbermann

2011-01-27T08:38:00.000-06:00

I really don't, but Bret Stephens has a great piece on Olbermann and the larger story of the media yesterday and today: http://online.wsj.com/article/global_view.html. Several nails hit squarely on the head. Anyway, it wouldn't be a shocker to see Olbermann not only return quickly but return with a vengeance in a new and improved role somewhere else--despite his awfulness, he's one smart SOB and has a lemming like following of true believers.

I read what O'Reilly said (or didn't say)--he refused to mention Olbermann by name in discussing the MSNBC shake up, though I'm sure one or two 825 year old bottles of scotch were consumed after the news hit. Don't know what Limbaugh said but I have watched some of the new Golf Channel's "Haney Project" where Hank Haney is now charged with the task of making Rush a new and improved golfer. Verdict: didn't enjoy it. Limbaugh is a talented radio performer but for whatever reason, he just doesn't come off well on television. The most interesting thing about the show is the inclusion of Haney's hot trophy wife--I'm guessing a spin off or maybe "Housewives of the Golf Channel" will be up next.

Golf, Kim's Way

2011-01-17T11:40:00.001-06:00

Chairman Kim, World's Greatest Golfer

Thanks to Kevin Robbins of the AAS for spotting this:http://www.northkoreanopen.com/course1.html. I really, really hope that someone with a P.J. O'Rourke sense of humor signs up for this thing--golfing in North Korea has all the makings of something you want to read about under the influence of distilled spirits or whatever you have on hand. The most miserable game ever concocted by sheep loving Scotsmen now open for bidness in the most miserable country in the world, and that's saying something.

Collar Bomb Caper

2011-01-12T09:56:00.000-06:00

Great story on the infamous collar bomb heist: http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/12/ff_collarbomb/all/1.

Ordering Koala Venison, Etc.

2011-01-10T13:14:00.000-06:00

Ordering stuff off of the internets can be confusing: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/shopping_cart. It reminds me of when a cousin of mine was catching a pitching phenom named Curly Ray Jones. Jones had two pitches: a fastball and a curve. My cousin dutifully reviewed the signals with Curly Ray, indicating that one finger would be for a fastball and two fingers would be for a curve. After signalling "one" for a fastball and being de-nutted with a sinking curve and then signalling "two" for a curve and having his windpipe dislodged by a rising fastball, Cousin Charles trotted/stumbled to the mound. Indicating a desire to go over the complex signals again, Curly Ray quickly cut him off, indicating, "All these numbas is confusing--I'll pitch it and you catch it."

I hate math, too, so I've always sort of related to Curly Ray. There endeth the lesson.

Getting Darnell to Work

2011-01-05T10:43:00.000-06:00

An interesting piece that asserts that Black America and America as a whole would be best served by the legalization of drugs:http://www.tnr.com/blogs/john-mcwhorter. Probably not going to happen but the drug problem is one that has to have some out of the box thinking or we're just going to continue flushing dollars and lives down the drain. Would legalization be perfect? Hell no, but look at what we've got going on now. Anyway, not a bad read.

Life Was Tough Back Then

2011-01-04T11:51:00.000-06:00

A tasty, wonderful piece on medieval warfare, especially if you're fascinated with archeologist types in how they interpret and recreate what went down:http://www.economist.com/node/17722650. Essentially, you just didn't want to wind up on the losing side in the Wonderful War of the Roses.

True Grit Redux

2011-01-04T11:17:00.001-06:00

I largely agree with this guy on the three True Grits--the book, the original movie starring John Wayne, and the Coen remake: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/lgrin/2011/01/04/a-tale-of-three-true-grits/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BigHollywood+%28Big+Hollywood%29&utm_content=FaceBook. I watched the Wayne movie again about two days before viewing the Coen vehicle and several things struck me:
1. The strength of the dialogue from the Portis book--the guy is one of the most underrated wordsmiths of 20th century American writing and how particularly well that Wayne and the new Hattie Ross actress pulled off the tricky dialogue.
2. Both Wayne and Bridges are excellent and very different in their approaches. Wayne's was intentionally over the top and full of bravado while Bridges was more understated but very believable.
3. The young actress that plays Hattie in the Coen movie is light years better than the hideous Kim Darby. In fact, she's remarkable and worth the price of admission alone.
4. Damon is obviously better than Glenn Campbell as the Ranger La Bouf(sp). Shaking my head about this though, as the one actor who was born to play this role was Matthew McConnnaaggggghyy(sp). Damn shame he didn't get it.
5. Barry Pepper plays Ned Pepper in the Coen version and does it well. He even sounds a lot like Robert Duvall did in the same role. He ain't Duvall, though. Josh Brolin, on loan from the commie stooge directors he usually works for, is good, too as the murderous dumb ass Cheney.
6. The Coen Brothers Grit is an outstanding movie. It's one of those rare films that comes along that you will watch multiple times over the years--every time it comes on TV--and you will buy the DVD in the same sense as "Saving Private Ryan" and others. Like "Ryan," it will lose out in the Academy Award nomination to something of a more artsy nature ("Shakespeare in Love") that you'll never, ever see again after shelling out twelve bucks or so at your local movie house.

Go see it. Solid effort.

It's Cold

2010-12-27T10:01:00.000-06:00

Judah Cohen of the NY Times patiently explains to all of dolts out here that it's cold as hell this winter precisely due to global warming:http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/26/opinion/26cohen.html?_r=1&ref=opinion. Yes, yes, Judah, most everyone understands that driving Fords and Chevys has some sort of effect on the atmosphere. But, running out a piece like this every time one of the frequent massive cold fronts takes a dump on Paris or New Yawk and you begin sounding like Reichsminister Goebbels explaining that Soviet advances outside of Berlin are intentional ploys on the part of the Fuhrer to trap and once and for all destroy the pesky Rushkies.
The photo here is not of the expired Joseph Goebbels but rather of Gregory Peck in his finest role as Nazi nutjob Joseph Mengele in "The Boys from Brazil" movie. Forget all that soppy Atticus Finch stuff--I'll take Peck any day doing his part to spread love and Nationalist Socialism near and far.

Cleopatra Developments

2010-11-08T11:05:00.000-06:00

A review of a new book out on Cleopatra, written by Stacy Schiff:http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ca-stacy-schiff-20101107,0,2749115.story. The article says Hollywood is going to do a film version with Angelina Jolie reprising the Elizabeth Taylor role. Hope it's good. The famous Cleopatra version with Taylor isn't that great of a movie but worth the money to see Elizabeth in prime vamping mode. Burton played Marc Anthony as a scrawny, pale, drunk Welshman. Had a great voice, though.
Saw "Rules of the Road" this past Friday, which starred Robert Downey and that Zach Garaffuldududiddis guy with the beard who plays essentially Zach Garaffuldududiddis in each role I've seen him. Downey deserves a better story, a better script, and a better director than he's getting. Go see it if you want: some laughs here and there but once you've seen the greatest road movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," this latest treatment of the genre doesn't come close to measuring up.

Watched mostly crappy football--Texas, Baylor, Dallas all sucked wind. At least Baylor's game was during a glorious fall day, which gave me an excuse at halftime to finally clean out the storage shed, something that Mrs. Bulba has been on my ass about for a good three months now. Hers is a furtive motive: she didn't want it so much tidied up but rather envisioned space cleared in order to move current furniture out to the shed and newfangled stuff into the house. Cunning creatures, women, and reading up on Cleopatra would be a good lesson out there for all of you young dudes thinking about throwing in with that hot honey of yours who makes all of those cooing sounds at the right times. Anyway, the shed has room for a couch and easy chair and I hear there's a couple of items "on hold" at Pottery Barn. Defeated again.

Olbermann Sent to Time Out

2010-11-05T13:15:00.000-05:00

MSNBC has "suspended without pay" its star player, Keith Olbermann because he gave money to a bunch of Democratic Party candidates:http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/05/olbermann-donated-to-three-dems-in-apparent-violation-of-nbc-policy/. Apparently, MSNBC is still under the impression that there is some gentle soul out there who thinks the network is a sanctuary for objective news coverage and equitable commentary, so they're playing this parlour game until the smoke clears. I pretty much assumed that Olbermann gave money to Dems and have never been under the impression that he was pretending to be an objective news deliverer, ala the great pretender himself, Dan Rather. Olbermann, O'Reilly, and all of these guys (that includes you, Rachel Maddow) certainly have convictions but they understand very well their roles to preach to their respective choirs to keep the ad money rolling in. MSNBC is full of crap (see above) for thinking we somehow don't know it.

Prop. 19 and Other Election Stuff

2010-11-03T10:47:00.000-05:00

Proposition 19, the California initiative to legalize possession and cultivation of relatively small amounts of weed for personal use failed yesterday. Here's a short piece about the measure that appeared before the election: http://chronicle.com/blogs/brainstorm/kristof-crouch-soros-and-mcnamara-on-prop-19/27987. Call me whatever you want (and I've been called lots of things) but I agree with the voices in the article, even arch liberal George Soros--this war we have on pot is nuts. People want to smoke weed and it's no worse for you than alcohol. I agree that pot is a gateway drug and a lot of people begin their drug abuse tailspin through pot usage just like I know for a fact that alcohol does the same for many. But, most pot users--like most alcohol users--do so and live responsibly at the same time, reporting in for work each day and baking delicious brownies at night. We've got better uses for our tax dollars and police and I have a little spot in my backyard that gets just the right amount of sun and shade.

Lots of Republicans won last night. You think Obama overreached or what? I thought he was smarter--a big chunk of the country identifies itself as "conservative"--much more than "liberal," so he maybe should have had one of those best and brightest surrounding him point that little fact out along the way while he was ripping the Republicans a new one. The R's now have Congress and I'm not sure they know what they're going to do with it but I do know for sure that John Boehner is going to be lighting up Camels in his office while cheerfully suggesting that Nancy Pelosi can go suck it. Anyway, I think that despite the big win in Congress, Republicans would make a mistake by thinking it's a mandate of some sort--it was a market correction of the political variety. I have every confidence that the R's will muddle around and screw up things in fine fashion which should work in the president's favor in a few years. But, for the moment, he can sneak over to Boehner's office for a smoke.

The day following elections should be reserved for the expeditious removal of political signs from public and private places, along with a ritual peeling off of bumper stickers. Note: for those of you whose candidates won, you come off as a preening ass by leaving your bumper stickers affixed to the Prius. If you lost, you appear as the bitter, self righteous ass variety. Don't be an ass. In fact, all the world and especially your friends and neighbors would much rather not know your politics at all or get your prayer train emails or see you without makeup. Speaking of which, I live in an area with a lot of transplants from other parts of the country. You see them on Saturday or Sunday mornings in public venues (HEB, kids sporting events, etc.) wearing absolutely no make up, the effect of which is typically hideous. That contrasts with a Texas (or Southern) girl who wouldn't show up to a dawn hanging or 6:30AM 10k with a 105 degree fever without the expert application of makeup and a smart touch up of their hair. Reminds once again that once you go north of the Red River, it gets a little dicey in the female department. Hear the pot's better in California, though.

Wayne's Alamo

2010-11-01T15:19:00.000-05:00

They had a fandango in San Antonio to celebrate a big anniversary for John Wayne's version of the Alamo story, it's 50th anniversary premiere: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/dgagliasso/2010/11/01/john-waynes-dream-the-alam0-at-fifty/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BigHollywood+%28Big+Hollywood%29&utm_content=FaceBook Skip the political stuff in the article if you want, the real story is the making of that film and for all its faults, it's a pretty good movie. Great character actors and no computerized special effects--those are real extras portraying soldados.
They built an awesome set for the movie out on Happy Shahan's ranch near Bracketville. I went there once and you really get more of a sense of the Alamo at the ranch than by visiting the real thing. Out there, you get the dimension and relative remoteness compared to what's left of the compound in San Antonio, which is essentially the famous chapel and the foundations of a few of the blockhouses. You don't have raspa vendors or tour buses out there, either. I met Shahan once, and rode around on the ranch with him. He told me a few stories about the filming of the movie and how much he liked Wayne and the crew. BTW, Wayne and the cast and crew stayed at the barracks of the old cavalry fort in Bracketville. If you're in the mood, you can rent those out now.

Left, Right, Left, Right...

2010-11-01T10:49:00.000-05:00

An interesting study on why people turn out to be liberal or conservative:http://www.miller-mccune.com/politics/a-new-take-on-political-ideology-24683/. Maybe, though there are some obvious exceptions to Vigil's thesis. Anyway, go vote tomorrow and then please remove your hideous yard signs and bumper stickers for your favorite candidates--they've influenced no one but irritated many. My next door neighbors--a nice, smart retired couple who are uber Democrats not only have political signs but sub signs on the larger signs. These smaller signs spell out the legal penalty for removing or defacing political signs. What happened was that during an election a few years ago, I went out to get my paper one Saturday morning and saw their signs were knocked down. This was the obvious work of teenage boys roving around on a Friday night, bent on tearing up something when mailboxes prove unavailable. But, nice next door neighbors interpreted it as the work of nefarious Republican operatives (is there any other type?) bent on the reintroduction of back alley abortions and killing old people. So, if you ever think of knocking over the signs on my block, please be advised to read the smaller signs first. Especially, if it's Karl Rove out raising Hell and knocking over mailboxes.

Folsom Field Report

2010-10-18T15:00:00.000-05:00

Note: the following relates to a just completed trip by Mr. and Mrs. Bulba to Boulder as part of a Baylor Alumni group. If you did not go to Baylor (and count yourself fortunate in that) you may not find any of the following particularly enlightening or of any sense. Instead, go out and make a better world or a decent cup of coffee.

Was up at Boulder for the CU game as part of some alumni group thing that I signed the wife and I up for earlier this summer. Though I suspected it would be highly geriatric, I decided to give it a try anyway. Essentially, it was uber-geriatric—average age was probably 70 and largely Waco-centric which translates into some fairly uninteresting conversation opportunities and “a frail outlook on life” as Group Captain Mandrake would say. Most of the men were retired pasty faced banker types and the women were of the flighty, semi-Southern belle variety that only worry their pretty little heads with grandchildren stories and never went in for any backdoor action.

Played golf Friday on a glorious day at the Interlochen Golf Club in Broomfield which is about 8 miles from Boulder. My cart partner, “Earl” was 65 and had played golf most of his adult life. That said, Earl did not understand the concept of shutting the fvck up when someone else was hitting or not walking into their fvcking line when they’re about to hit fvcking ball. He also did not understand that it is not a good idea to stand too close to someone in the process of their taking a practice swing on the tee box. Early in the round, I would mindfully avoid swinging too close to him in recognition maybe of his age and trying to be polite and all but by about hole 8 or so, I was actively attempting to knock the sh1t out of him with each and every practice swing. Chatty about his role as a deacon at his Baptist church, singing in the church choir and grandchildren and other matters of which I did not give a flying fvck, I began the round by being a little deferential in this regard but soon quickly tired of Earl and his dumbsh1t ways and proceeded to smoke at least two cigs on every hole and made sure the beer cart girl stopped to see me in no more than fifteen minute intervals. Though I did not take the Lord Jesus’ name in vain during that span of five fvcking hours, I did work in most of the rest, including “c0cksucking motherfvcker” at least twice. Shot an 82. Still can’t putt for sh1t.

Friday night we attend a dinner arranged for the Baylor group at the hotel. We sit with three other couples who discuss grandchildren, medical procedures, and the “pretty leaves they have on the trees, here.” This is followed by our featured entertainer for the evening, direct from Las Vegas, the magnificent, “Dondino.” Assuming you’re not retarded or addled by syphilitic effects on the brain, you’ll know that Dondino is at best, a third tier Vegas lounge singer appealing to the blue hair set. Ever know that you’re staring straight at three hours of your life that will be stolen and ground into dust and then sh1t on by a scoured calf and deducted from all of the good things that have occurred in your fifty something year walk through the years then you’ll know that hell exists. Yes, I’ll never get it back and whenever images of death camps or Cloth World seep into my mind, I’ll think of this chamber of fvcking horrors. When it was over, I ran, RAN to the bar and screamed for anything, ANYTHING that was wet including black tar heroin if they had it and could mainline it into me NOW. I would even have accepted simply being hit repeatedly over the head with a pool cue. Yes, that bad.

Bus left the hotel for the game at 2pm on Saturday and I’m here to tell you that you haven’t seen slow old people board a bus until you see slow old Baylor people board a bus. I had pre-gamed a little in the hotel bar—but not enough, especially when you’re surrounded by Lottie Mae’s from Waco and MacGregor in their lime green polyester sweater vest things that they darned/stitched/sewed/what-the-fvck-ever’d themselves.

Buses offload at the “official” (means no beer or fun) Baylor tent where a buffet is waiting, along with Judge Starr and Coach Teaff and Ian and the Baylor cheerleaders visibly repelled by having to perform circus tricks in front of this hideous assemblage of old people. You can tell that they would just rather take up whoring or pipefitting or anything than looking out at Lottie Mae yelling into Merl’s ear where the bathroom is located. Starr speaks and we clap in joyous love for our new president who is conversant in New Testament scholarship and identification of body fluids.

Wife and I sneak the fvck out of the Baylor tent in hopes of finding beer. You won’t believe this but there isn’t a bar or equivalent George’s tent around the Folsom Field environs selling anything containing alcohol. I’m reduced to begging CU tailgating types with mixed results—they look at me with a mixture of contempt and pity but acquiesce less I begin singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” or holding up a “John 3:16” sign.

Enter Folsom Field. Had attended CSU contests where Coors’ products are readily available and assumed the same at CU where the temperance league never had much luck. Negative. No. Fvck No. As was explained to me by the patient concessions staff over my screaming, alcohol sales are prohibited at Big 12 events which is I’m sure due to some dumbass insistence from Baylor types at league meetings. Now you know why the Buffs are leaving for the Pac Whatever and saying adios to Ames, Iowa and Waco and overall rampant Big 12 ass-hatery. I’m more than crushed at the prospects of a dead and buried buzz and more hours with the Baylor Family sin anything to fortify my soul. I thought about Jesus on the cross and being forsaken and all and Ben Franklin’s proclamation that God wants us to be happy, so that is why we have beer and almost started crying. Now, the only thing I had going was cussing a lot.

Ralphie, the CU mascot enters the field, tear-assing up and down the gridiron while five or six student wranglers hold on for dear life. Outstanding display, said to be the greatest in college football mascotetry. Certainly an improvement over the masked Red Raider mascot of T-Tech holding her pretend pistol salute in the sky. Would have only been better if Ralphie would have taken out several Baylor blue hairs while his wranglers tossed Fat Tire Brewery products to Section 102, aisle 39, seats 21 and 22.

Exciting game—you’ve read about it so I won’t bore you. Dumbass penalties on Baylor almost deep sixed what should have been more of a decisive outcome. I’m standing up most of the game, jumping around, screaming, cussing (a lot), and generally making up for all of the Lottie Mae’s and Vernon’s looking around with their mouths open. We win. Contrary to my expectations, I didn’t get hit by a AA battery once by the CU faithful.

Two buses are waiting; one going back to the hotel for those staying the night and the other going to the airport in Denver for a flight back. As would be expected, our bus going to the hotel leaves with a couple that should have been on the other bus. A thoroughly fvcked up, ignorant expedition through the back streets around Folsom ensues as large bus is attempting to find/catch up with the other large bus. Another precious hour of life is lost in this process while the effects of expanded prostate glands kick in. Not happy. I urinate in the hotel parking lot in protest.

Sic ‘em.

Queenan on Carter

2010-10-11T16:07:00.001-05:00

Carter and Pal

Joe Queenan speaks on behalf of most/much/many/plenty of us when he implores former President Jimmy to be quiet and go away:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704631504575532314072376630.html. God, I can't stand the guy--he's the at the same time a boring, tiring, arrogant, irritating shit head--you know, the one who sat in the first row and asked a goddamn question as the bell rang, prompting an obligatory session of pontificating from some jackass never been professor and making you late for your next class. I respect anyone who has run and held the office of the presidency but Carter's insistence that what matters to him and what he has decided is right and best should trump all other national considerations and makes a sitting president's and State Department's job highly difficult. For that, I'd like to see a coordinated air strike on the offices of the Carter Center in order to save the world from the Jimmy menace.

Fall Update

2010-10-11T14:08:00.000-05:00

Fall is here, and with it comes the official "Decorative Gourds Season," no less at my house where Mrs. Bulba always has various gourd objects lying around which I think infers that we've grown and harvested them and are now enjoying the bounty of fine gourds offering up wonderous gourd products which we can share with family and friends and maybe hobos* who show up at our house for a square meal. This guy has a little something to say about it:http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html

Decorative gourds such as those that Mrs. Bulba places on areas where I like to set my drink.

*Yes, I know that no one says "hobos" anymore, or "bums" in deference to "homeless people" which was established in order to eliminate the practice of calling a spade a spade. Anyway, whatever as they say.

NCAA Tackle Football Report

2010-10-05T10:07:00.000-05:00

Sooner faithful at the Cotton Bowl

My God, I looked up (or down--I forget) and we're less than a week short of half the damn season gone already. I've been to a college game every Saturday, thus far, save for the weekend I was in and around San Diego and ended up watching a shitload of college games all at one time in a sports bar in Mission Beach filled with USC fans who were the fat variety of Trojan fans versus the hot chick model of USC fans you were maybe hoping to see. Timing is everything. Anyway, took in the annual Red River Hatefest between Texas and Oklahoma this last weekend at the Cotton Bowl. It was apparently the Sooners' turn to win as Texas did everything they could to behave stupidly, throwing away one opportunity after another in favor of costly penalties. They must have been distracted by the approximate 75,000 very attractive female supporters of both schools that were walking unceasingly up and down the aisles to the restroom or wherever women go during sporting events--all I know is that their efforts are much appreciated by the guys sitting along the aisles. Will be going back to the Cotton Bowl for another snot-slinger featuring the Tech versus the Baptists this Saturday. Probably not as raucous unless the Baylor faithful get a little too hopped up on corn dogs and Shiner at the State Fair. Happens sometimes. Meanwhile, enjoy the finest in college football buffoonery, SEC style:http://www.sbnation.com/ncaa-football/2010/10/4/1729557/the-alphabetical-week-6-tennessee-vs-lsu-college-football-recap

Tony Curtis, RIP

2010-10-04T12:24:00.002-05:00

Yes, Tony did get to know Marilyn fairly well

Had a few great turns (notably "Sweet Smell of Success") but a real movie star and one of the last of a breed that once ruled Hollywood. Tony Junod with a wrap:http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/tony-curtis-death-093010.

Obama Declares Fox "Destructive"

2010-09-28T13:37:00.001-05:00

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/28/obama-fox-news-is-destructive-to-america/?hpt=T2. Rolling Stone interviewed President Obama and he says that Fox News is "destructive" and not in "America's best long term interests" or something to that effect. Didn't see anything about Rolling Stone asking him what he thought about MSNBC, CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, New York Times, Los Angeles Examiner, Chicago Tribune, etc., etc. I guess any reasonable, well educated person would conclude that those news sources are without bias or at least with the correct bias.

Dien Bien Phu Revisited

2010-09-23T12:20:00.000-05:00

Great article by Robert Messenger laying out what went down at the famous battle-- the heroes, villains, folly, bravery, and what it all means and doesn't mean. Best piece I've ever read about it:http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/theirs-do-and-die?nopager=1

Good Stuff

2010-09-22T11:54:00.000-05:00

A young Eugene Sledge

The WSJ lists five of the best of WWII first person accounts:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703466704575489831012445628.html?KEYWORDS=QUARTERED+SAFE. I've read two of them: Fraser's "Quartered Safe Out Here" and E.B. Sledge's "With the Old Breed." Outstanding books, both of them. Fraser is a superior writer (see the Flashman series), so his is very, very well done. Sledge is an interesting story due to the fact that he was sort of a smart, sensitive type who got thrown into the maelstrom of the Pacific island fighting against the Japanese and he kept quite meticulous notes between the lines of his bible and later wrote it all down years later when he was leading the life of a quite biology professor. Haven't read the others listed though Von Lauck's "Panzer Commander" looks eerily similar to the last on the list.

Blue Pill News

2010-09-22T10:50:00.000-05:00

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/finance/ianmcowie/100007666/why-supermarket-viagra-might-be-a-bad-idea/. They are apparently selling Viagra over the counter in Europia--if they ever do that here they'll have to build a separate section for it at HEB. Interesting that the article points out the side effects of the blue pill as men are now going to the doctor more and/or paying greater attention to their health which could and probably very well is enhancing their life expectency in addition to the quality of their erection experience. This also, of course, probably means a boomlet for headache pill manufacturers.

Noonan Explains the Tea Party

2010-09-17T09:56:00.000-05:00

Peggy Noonan writes a decent piece, giving her take on the Tea Party and what she thinks is going on with the conservative side of the electorate (no, she doesn't say anything about them being racists or insisting that the earth is flat):http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703440604575496221482123504.html

Sharia in the U.S.

2010-09-17T09:11:00.000-05:00

Great piece by a Pakistani born lawyer on life as a Muslim woman and how our system is enabling feudal style "justice" under sharia: http://www.guernicamag.com/features/2030/zakaria_9_15_10/

Speaking of Freud...

2010-09-14T14:27:00.000-05:00

Aw, Prosit!

...those whacky German and Austrian types are always up to something:http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,686305,00.html

Psych Myths

2010-09-14T11:11:00.000-05:00

He actually meant, "Venus Envy."

Interesting stuff: http://www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/10-09-01/#feature

Fidel Goes to a Donk, er, Dolphin Show

2010-09-09T09:14:00.000-05:00

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2010/09/fidel-cuban-model-doesnt-even-work-for-us-anymore/62602/. A sort of remarkable and very odd write up by Atlantic Monthly on a recent visit with Castro in Havana. Notable items were:
1. Castro says the Cuban model doesn't work for Cuba. Now he tells us--what a joker that Fidel is with his revolutions and missile crisis capers and Bay of Pigs stuff and all that.
2. He likes dolphins a lot and enjoys the local dolphin show which is closed on Mondays except when Fidel wants to see a good dolphin show on a Monday. Then, the workers all "voluntarily" show up.
3. He knows a good Persian rug when he sees it.
4. He seems to have recovered from his digestive troubles to enjoy red (of course) wine.
5. Che Guevarra's daughter works at the dolphin show. I guess that's better than the Bautista era show where she would have worked.

Castro ponders his love for Flipper

6. Fidel sometimes pretends that he is Ernest Hemingway, lounging nude while throwing down daiquiris and regaling visiting Harvard grad students with tales of downing the "big five" in Africa and sharing a safari tent with Ava Gardner and a stunning Nubian princess on the plains of the Serengeti. Allegedly.

Emily Goes to a Nudist Camp

2010-09-08T13:28:00.000-05:00

Nude Day at the offices of Wing Attack Plan R

Intrepid Slate reporter Emily Yoffe visits a nudist camp and tells all about it:http://www.slate.com/id/2266049/. I'm glad that Emily did this and not me. If you think you're into nudity, visit the men's locker room at the Jewish Community Center in Austin and it will cure you--the term "chamber of horrors" comes to mind. Nothing like seeing an old guy standing buck nekkid in front of the mirrors drying his pubes with the hair blower. Or, two of them having a non-descript conversation about the stock market or latest outrage committed by BusHitler--again, without draping as they say in the massage bidness. Anyway, there's a damn good reason for clothes and a healthy percentage of our population need never forget that.

Rev. Nutt Calls the Faithful to Prayuh

2010-09-08T12:20:00.001-05:00

"Give me an amen, crackers!"

Brilliance from EDSBS after the Ole Miss melt down:http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2010/9/7/1674922/the-right-reverend-nutt-calls-a#storyjump

Varadarajan on Quran Burning

2010-09-08T09:00:00.000-05:00

Varadarajan weighs in on the nut job who intends to barbecue a stack of qurans/korans:http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-09-07/terry-jones-burn-the-koran-pastor-wrecks-free-speech-debate/. I pretty much agree with him. The only other point concerning this is why are not more Muslims embarrassed by this? That generals, politicians, Christian ministers, etc. are all pleading for the idiot pastor to stop this because it will incite the followers of a religion to commit murder over burned books, just like they do when their prophet is depicted in a cartoon. Similar pleas and measures do not have to go out for the sake of other religions when bibles or flags are burned or Jews murdered --again, it's this conversion by the sword Islamic deal which the world must tread lightly around. Again, would enjoy--for once--seeing "moderate" Muslims in the United States and other regions renounce violence above an occasional whisper or candle lighting at a Unitarian peace conference. Still waiting.

Czarist Gold?

2010-09-07T14:16:00.000-05:00

Some think that the mother lode of czarist gold sits in a Siberian lake:http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/0,1518,715373,00.html. I'll believe it when I see a photo of a shirtless Vladimir Putin with a hunting rifle slung over his chest straddling a big o' pile of gold bars. Then, maybe.

Chairman Mao and other Labor Day Thoughts

2010-09-07T10:30:00.001-05:00

They had great fun during the Cultural Revolution (the same one that Jane Fonda thought was such a swell idea):http://www.literaryreview.co.uk/mirsky_09_10.html. I don't find any of this really very much of a surprise--it does, however, give me some small sense of satisfaction to know that for maybe a very brief moment it may cause some discomfort for the "Blame America First" crowd who are always on board with the latest Marxist lunatic parading around under the guise of a "people's paradise" or something equally ridiculous (see Chavez, Hugo and Penn, Sean et al). Anyway, a fun read for a Mon--err, Tuesday.
Random Labor Day weekend items:

Chairman Mao declares war against the imperialist lackeys at Wing Attack Plan R

1. Played golf. Yesterday, my cart partner was Mr. Retired Guy Who Doesn't Find it Necessary to Shower in the Morning. Helluva guy, that guy--just stay upwind of him. Hit the ball pretty well, though I couldn't drop any putts and otherwise engaged in some wildly imaginative scenarios involving me and the very attractive cart girl whenever she stopped by. I'm pretty sure she wasn't doing the same.
2. Attended Baylor's home opener on Saturday (Bulba daughter #2 is a freshman there). Decent crowd (about 43,000 with 50,000 capacity) and seems like that Ken Starr guy is shaking things up there--alumni and students seem a lot more energized and involved. For the record, AT&T service SUCKS in Waco--resorted to asking people to make calls for us. And, I don't think Apple or AT&T really give a shit about problems there or elsewhere.
3. Bulba Daughter #2 and one of her new friends followed us back to Austin. That went fine until about 3:30AM on Monday morning when they called to come get them from the UT KA house or wherever. They get credit for not driving that late after some illicit drinking (don't think they had much) but dad's loss of sleep didn't exactly make him a happy camper at that hour. For those of you with kids not yet teens, rejoice and appreciate what you have and what you will soon kiss goodbye.
4. Attended a surprise birthday party last night for one of the guys I know from the golf club and was chatting with a woman in her late thirties who declared to me pretty much right off the bat that she ditched her husband because "he wasn't much fun" followed shortly thereafter by "he just wasn't that good." Fortunately, Mrs. Bulba was nearby or I would have had a pretty good time exploring that statement with her in greater detail--"Okay, what's 'good' for you, mam?" Sort of caught me off guard--just wasn't expecting that at 7PM after only one beer on a Monday night. As they say in the Scouts: Be Prepared. Or, at least try to be "good."

LA Times on Andrew Breitbart

2010-09-03T10:48:00.000-05:00

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-breitbart-20100826,0,2362984,print.story. Interesting guy--the villain in the Sherrod firing thingy--and not afraid to come across as bombastic in his effort to swim against the tide.

Lombardi

2010-09-02T08:34:00.000-05:00

Some interesting photos of the late Vince Lombardi:http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/1009/vince.lombardi.rare.photos/content.1.html?xid=cnnbin&hpt=Sbin. As a kid, I watched Lombardi's Packers rip the hearts out of all of us who were pulling for the Cowboys ( the Oilers were my team but the Cowboys were in the NFL, so there was no real disloyalty in my feeble mind). Later, I read Jerry Kramer's account of that famous 1967 championship season, "Instant Replay" which is devoted in large part to the character of Lombardi and how his players alternately cursed and worshipped him. And, in the past several years, I've been to Lambeau Field in Green Bay a couple of times and walked beneath the statue of Vince clad in a marble overcoat. Pretty neat franchise, Green Bay--owned by the fans who pass season tickets to relatives via their wills and work the turnstiles and all that. The only problem with Green Bay is this thing called, winter. It happens there.

Hump Day: Don't Worry...Be Happy Edition

2010-09-01T15:06:00.001-05:00

A study says that happy people tend to be extroverts, engaged, and making over $75 large a year:http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/01/money-and-happiness-over-75k-doesnt-matter/?hpt=C2. Also, Dems and R's tend to be equally happy but those with very strong political views such as "Greens" and "Libertarians" tend to be unhappy. That sort of mirrors what Franklin said--that "there is no happiness to be found among zealots." Heartily agree with this sentiment and I find those always on point for both ends of the political spectrum a bore and damn tiring. Though I do find myself voting mostly for candidates from one party, I'd be damned embarrassed to be a "registered" voter of either and couldn't stand a minute around the party convention types--I would sooner embrace Islam and crystal meth.

Some other random thoughts:
1. I've noticed that every female driver between the ages of 18 to 28 or so is either engaged in the act of texting or at least is reading a text--in all kinds of traffic, including on the interstate. Speak to your daughters about this. It will do zero good but at least you will have done it.
2. Saw "Get Low" with Duvall, Murray, and Spacek this past Saturday. So-so. Worth it to watch Duvall and Murray but the story didn't develop like it could have and should have.
3. So far, I give empty nesting high marks and endorse the practice. Freshman daughter will return on Saturday evening along with three of her new found coed friends, so we'll suspend the practice of dad walking naked from the laundry room back to the master bedroom (the wife will be grateful for this).
4. Football season is here, more particularly, the college variety which is the better game. Hard to explain that statement when obviously the best players are in the professional ranks. It's just better in the sense that the players are mostly all strongly committed as are the schools and alumni and t-shirt alumni, and the game itself is just more interesting to watch than what shows up on Sundays. Anyway, it's back after about 8 long months of exile and the nation rejoices.
5. Going on a dove hunt tomorrow--a customer thing--and will probably repeat last year's performance of not firing a single shot while mostly tracking down the truck driving around the ranch that has all of the iced down beer.
6. I "liked" Texas Tribune on Facebook for the sole reason of posting a question asking why they bill themselves as "nonpartisan" when they are nonpartisan in the sense that the New York Times or National Review are nonpartisan--they're not. Got a lot of snotty responses from their largely hipster and humorless reading audience to the tune that I just don't get it. You know, I don't get a lot of things but on this, I do. The TT, the NYT, and their enthusiastic reading audience are both smart and fascinatingly tone deaf--they'll look at you with a quizzical gaze of wonderment if you even mention that there's some bias there--always amuses me. Same thing with the Austin American Statesman and other rags that pretty much report whatever the NYT or AP sends them, and they do that dutifully and in a spirit of earnest Christian labor in order to pass on the gospel to the faithful. Whenever some apostate questions something, they're labeled a reactionary or just a poor soul needing enlightenment and direction. Funny stuff.
7. I never want to go to: Russia, China, or India. Call me whatever you want or just plain unadventurous but I'm almost 53 and I like having a nice place to take a shit. I don't have a problem with outhouses when I'm hunting or even having to squat over a downed mesquite log if there is an imminent situation but I really don't want to pay to visit a country where having a clean, comfortable place to take a dump is an issue. All that said, taking a leak outside is one of life's great pleasures, especially if you're hosing down a fire ant bed or the fence of the neighbor you don't like. John Wayne once pissed into Ward Bond's whiskey flask to the immense enjoyment of John Ford. Ford was so inspired that he cast both in "The Searchers" and the greatest western of all time resulted--urination can be so inspirational. We'll devote a future post to urinals and piss troughs and to the larger world of male urination--let me know if there's something you want me to include.

"I like being around happy people and the offices of Wing Attack Plan R: their bathroom is so nice."

When Truth is Inconvenient

2010-08-26T09:47:00.001-05:00

Ayaan Hirsi Ali says out loud what a lot of people don't want to hear, that there is a difference in civilizations and the Western one is clearly better, especially if you're a woman:http://www.bigquestionsonline.com/columns/susan-jacoby/multiculturalism-and-its-discontents

VDH with a Teachable Moment

2010-08-25T10:11:00.000-05:00

Hanson discusses Obama's habit of pontificating:http://www.victorhanson.com/articles/hanson082510.html.

LPGA Round Up

2010-08-23T15:27:00.000-05:00

Mean Dina

Actually, I saw a link to this on Kevin Robbins' blog--it's a piece on the recent Safeway Classic in Oregon: http://www.oregonlive.com/sports/oregonian/john_canzano/index.ssf/2010/08/canzano_lpga_golfers_short_fus.html. All I can say is for Dina Ammaccapane to call your office--a PR disaster for her and really, for the LPGA which already is struggling. So, Dina doesn't want a short guy carrying her "75 pound" bag and didn't even give him a chance to do it--what gives? And, just what the hell do you have in that bag, anyway? I guess if Dina had to carry her own damn bag, she'd figure out some things she didn't need in that thing. When you carry your own clubs in very hot weather and over a hilly course, you certainly do without a lot of stuff in the interest of weight--I know I do. That said, I do occasionally find stuff in my walking bag that I wonder how it got there--five hundred pesos the other day (went to Zihuatanejo last October), one (1) 12 gauge shotgun shell (I have absolutely no clue on this one), and a six pack of AA batteries (again, no idea). I once found my wife's curling iron in my bag but that was from a trip where she stuck a bunch of her gear in my golf bag for the plane trip home and the curling iron ended up staying in there for my next round of golf. Happily, I didn't have to use it.

News from Mordor

2010-08-23T10:48:00.001-05:00

No, not really. But, a fascinating interview in FP of Patrick Chovanec on his experiences travelling in the Hermit Kingdom:http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2010/08/16/a_tourist_in_pyongyang?page=full.

Golf and Other Silliness

2010-08-20T10:28:00.000-05:00

Still perturbed at the whole backasswardness of golf and its stupid goddamn rules and overall idiotic way of going about things as evidenced in its full show-your-ass glory at last week's PGA Championship. A course designed by a lunatic, a rules official who didn't have the goddamn common sense to announce to the idiots standing in what turned out to be a sand trap that they were standing ass deep in the thing (thereby alerting Dustin Johnson that his ball was in a goddamn sand trap when he thought it was simply sitting where some fat guy had just taken a nap), Dustin Johnson grounding his club (on that piece of shit course with 37,000+ sand traps you just should assume that a ball resting on a crap lie is a sand trap), and a dumb ass caddie who didn't have the sense to do what he's paid to do in saving his player. And, finally, the rules of golf in almost their whole reeking entirety, written by deranged Scots addled by years of dedicated alcoholism and livestock predation. Perfect drive bombed down the center of the fairway that rolls into a divot? Tough shit, dude--can't move it even though it is clearly in GROUND UNDER REPAIR. Anyway, it's an annoying game. The two takeaways from the PGA are that if you were thinking of taking up golf you have now fortunately regained clarity and will instead get into something more sensible like skydiving or cross dressing, and, that if you do currently play the game you'll never, ever want to get near that tricked up piece of Wisconsin ridiculousness called Whistling Straits. Not even if Miss Wisconsin is riding buck nekkid in your cart (allegedly pictured below).

After flying back Saturday, unpacked and drove to the course to get in nine holes (had to attend a wedding that evening). The clubhouse asked if I would play with a couple of guests and it was my pleasure, though I announced to them on the first tee that I would only be able to play the front nine due to having to attend a "goddamn wedding" that night. A hole later, when exchanging "what do you do's?" with them, "Sam" informed me that he was the new pastor at Great Hills Baptist Church. "I guess you go to a lot of goddamn weddings, yourself, right Sam?" Not really, but almost.

Moved Bulba daughter #2 into my old Alma mater yesterday. Time flies and life does indeed come full circle at times. Empty nesters, Mrs. Bulba and I now. Missing knowing that she's not in the house, even if in her room sleeping or Facebooking or whatever. Just not there and it is an empty feeling. We'll get over it but it's a little tough. Guess we'll have to get around to finally installing those ceiling mirrors in the master. Or, play more golf.

Bill Millin, RIP

2010-08-20T09:25:00.000-05:00

The bagpiper immortalized in "The Longest Day" is dead:http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/20/world/europe/20millin.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries. What a story.

Huguette, Part Deux

2010-08-19T08:51:00.000-05:00

Huguette at 15

Another fascinating glimpse at the 104 year old heiress that we posted here a few months back:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38719231/ns/business/. Hope she's well and has included a codicil in her will mentioning a reward for my continued good wishes.

The Great Wall

2010-08-18T12:07:00.003-05:00

Attended a Jack Johnson concert last night. Now, I didn't have a clue who Jack Johnson was or what kind of music he played. I just knew that the tickets were free, and that I was going to sit outside, hear some live music and enjoy a beverage or two on a school night. Not a bad deal.

Now, I could go on at length about the fact that the beer selection was awful and what you could get cost 12 bucks a pop. But I won't. As I said before, the tickets were free, so I didn't mind so much digging deep. Besides, a rare bit of cloud cover had dampened the evening blast furnace, and those of you who just spent the last thirty or so days "enjoying" 100+ degree days, well, you understand just how pleasant "90 in the shade" can feel. Toss in several thousand women dressed for such weather and a good spot to enjoy the show/scenery - now you've got a solid foundation for a good evening.

Music was good, too - Mr. Johnson is a talented guy. Put him in the "music/cd/concert that chicks enjoy - a lot - yet is tolerable for the average guy" genre (remember that - might just save your ass next birthday/anniversary/"insert generic gift-giving holiday here").

So what's my beef? Well, have you ever noticed the almost primal urge that proportionally challenged women have to stand up and "dance" at outdoor concerts? Worse yet, that they seem to travel in packs of five or six, and act as a group? I mean, one strum on the guy's guitar last night and suddenly many folks on the lawn knew exactly what it feels like to be Tony Romo on any given Sunday. Fortunately for Mr. Romo, however, that acreage of ass he's staring at when he barks out signals isn't involved in a "sexy dance" as the missus laughingly called it last night. Nor is it blocking his view of a show he paid to see.

Happened to me last night - right from the get go. Incredulous, I looked around to see if we were the only ones so fortunate. All around were people just like me, sitting on a blanket holding lukewarm-overpriced-bad beer in the hands, shaking their heads and clearly thinking "I paid 50 bucks to watch this shit?"

Turkish Delight

2010-08-18T11:58:00.000-05:00

Think you know Turkey? Think again and a brilliant article by Claire Berlinski will tell you why:http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/articles/2010-JulyAugust/full-Berlinski-JA-2010.html. Her analysis is largely applicable to the entire middle eastern world and I learned that in spades during the short time I spent there. Biggest lesson? Over here, when we make some type of agreement or deal in business or otherwise, it's typically intended to benefit both parties. "I'll buy this product from you. You'll get money and I'll get the benefit of the product." Not there. No, it's more of a process of one of the parties in the agreement screwing the other--there's not the expectation of a mutually beneficial outcome that assumes both parties will walk away satisfied and/or it will be a building block for a long term relationship. And, Berlinski's right when she says that Americans are out of their element when trying to accomplish things in that setting. Unless or until we have negotiators who firmly understand how that part of the world thinks, we'll continue to flail about and wonder at the end of the day why the hell our wallet is so much lighter.

On Chas

2010-08-17T11:35:00.001-05:00

Prince Charles is apparently a fan of coffee enemas:http://www.nybooks.com/blogs/nyrblog/2010/jul/23/deconstructing-prince-charles/. I'm shocked, SHOCKED to hear of this. Glad that Elizabeth is still hanging until William is old enough to drive the royal Land Rover.

Yes, I did choose this image. He's obviously looking forward to his next cup of Folger's.

Mrs. Bulba has gone completely nuts over "The Tudors" series depicting Henry VIII's reign and devotion to the bone dance--she even took several of the DVDs to Colorado during our recent vacay. All in all, they appear to be well done though I've only peeked at them between trips to the kitchen and bathroom. I am fairly excited about HBO's upcoming series on prohibition era organized crime, which looks tasty in the same vein as "Deadwood," one of the best things that ever hit television viewing. May have to subscribe in order to add more to the billion or so dollars a week that we send to Time Warner. Now, there's a racket.

Driving on the Left Side

2010-08-16T09:16:00.000-05:00

James Ledbetter thinks that though corporate bigwigs are increasingly Democrats, things are not that much different:http://www.slate.com/id/2263788. At least, I think that is his conclusion. Maybe I should read more stuff from James Ledbetter to understand him.

Back from travels, namely to Colorado and some R&R in Crested Butte. Hiked, rode bikes, fly fished and wandered up and down Elk Avenue following Mrs. Bulba and the Bulba daughters around. Also, rode horses up and down Snodgrass Mountain which is not my preferred activity but Bulba Daughter #2 is a horse nut so there you have it. My horse was named, "Duncan," and he got me up and down the damn thing without throwing me or deciding to hurl himself and me off a cliff or something. All in all, a pretty good ride though Duncan did exhibit a fair amount of passive aggressive behavior, occasionally bumping me into an aspen tree or snatching some food when I wasn't paying attention--I'm pretty sure he does that to amuse himself during his daily grind of hauling idiot tourists up and down a damn mountain--I really can't blame him. If you were a gelding, you'd have to think of new ways to have fun, too.
Pretty place, Crested Butte. Had only seen it in the winter before, after sliding up and down Monarch Pass in a death race through snow and ice in order to get there to ski and have hot chocolate and throw another log on the fire. Weather was obscenely gorgeous and the air was nothing short of delicious--a cruel and awful thing if you're a Texan and know each passing day of the vacation that you're one day closer to returning to the beat down of solid 100 degree plus days.

Spent the last day of vacation in Fort Collins where Bulba Daughter #1 attends school. Nothing funner than to push a cart through Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Wal-Mart to provision her in the necessary accoutrements for apartment (actually, an old house) living.
The credit card got a pretty good workout this month and a cortisone shot is probably in order.

Tiger Mike

2010-08-05T10:40:00.000-05:00

Don't like your boss and/or job? Be thankful: you could have worked for Tiger Mike:http://networkedblogs.com/6yCmw

White People Studies: Thursday Morning Edition

2010-08-05T08:21:00.001-05:00

Here's a thoughtful analysis of white people in their environment--this time the subspecies that employs dreadlocks for still unexplained reasons:http://blogs.westword.com/showandtell/2010/07/white_people_with_dreads_a_field_guide.php?page=1. Perhaps, one day we'll understand.

Rabinowitz on Ground Zero Mosque

2010-08-04T10:16:00.000-05:00

Dorothy discusses the mosque to be built within 600 feet of Ground Zero in NYC:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703545604575407160266158170.html?mod=WSJ_Opinion_LEADTop

Iggy This

2010-08-04T09:42:00.000-05:00

A rant by Iggy. On Delta stationary, no less:http://networkedblogs.com/6w3M9

Take a look...

2010-07-29T10:51:00.001-05:00

...this is what treason looks like, the little piece of shit called Pfc. Bradley Manning. What has been learned thus far is that in addition to leaking highly classified military information to WikiLeaks (an organization comprised of the worst types of elitist "We know what's best for you" asshats), Manning was/is the annoying twerp who was kicked around growing up because he was an annoying twerp and got "The Man" back by throwing in with the closest leftist/intellectual/anti-American group he could find to establish himself as a "true hero" to mankind. Yeah, great, Bradley you pathetic excuse for a human f*****g being. Reports have already emerged regarding the information that Manning supplied to WikiLeaks in the name of a greater good happens to contain the names of scores of Afghans and Iraqis (and their families) who have in some way assisted coalition efforts and will now have the privilege of dying slowly at the hands of the Taliban and other Muslim thugs. When these people are tortured to death, the effects on coalition forces translate into more deaths and less effectiveness for those unenlightened dullards in our armed forces who didn't have the good sense to subscribe to Mother Jones and are only necessary consequences in the path of righteousness provided by the gentle souls of WikiLeaks. Great job, all. And, Wiki and Julian and your gang of well dressed hipsters: you have risen to the same level of greatness as Hitler and Stalin and Pol Pot and every other jackshit who thought they knew better than anyone else in the path to righteousness. If there is enlightenment in all of this it's that fascism is not on the right anymore--it's pointing somewhere else.http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/07/28/afghanistan.wikileaks.suspect/index.html?hpt=C2

Hermit Kingdom Update

2010-07-29T08:45:00.000-05:00

Haven't posted anything about the 24 hour party that is North Korea, so here you go:http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2010/07/24/robert-fulford-north-korea-an-antique-nightmare/. Whatever his faults, at least our dear leader President Obama didn't issue a white cloth to clean his framed photograph each day to all citizens (only "Silver" level and above DNC members do that). Also read recently that some experts think that the North doesn't really have the capability to do much in terms of laying seige to South Korea--that they're using rusting equipment and aging technology when it comes to their military. Also, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been stomping around the DMZ so that has do doubt scared the shit out of the commies; when she gets that stare of hers going men tend to want to sort of drift away somewhere to drink and scratch. Ask Bill.

Today's Read and Weep

2010-07-27T15:28:00.000-05:00

This seems to be going around:http://www.city-journal.org/2010/eon0726ak.html

The Wit and Wisdom of Oliver Stone

2010-07-26T13:28:00.001-05:00

A hundred bucks says you never hear about this on MSNBC:http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/hollywoodland/2010/07/25/oliver-stone-criticizes-jewish-dominated-media-wants-to-put-hitler-in-context/.

Saw a preview of Stone's sequel to "Wall Street" yesterday. No interest in seeing more of his "capitalism is bad" mantra on film--would almost rather sit through "Eat, Pray, Love" which falls somewhere in the same category as "Eyes Plucked Out by Red Headed Vultures" or slow castration while viewing "The Princess Diaries" (I actually saw "Princess" when it came out with my then young daughters and recall the actual physical pain that occurred while viewing--far worse than a prostate exam). No, Stone is a real dirt bag and living proof of the gutless nature of Hollywood in that no one has the courage to call him out for his outright loathsome nature and his fondness for thug regimes, France, and servicing Noam Chomsky whenever possible. A real goon, Stone--latest is he wants to nationalize oil companies in the United States which will no doubt play big with the MSNBC crowd but not so much with rational parts of the electorate.
On another film note, I read the final installment of the last interview with Dennis Hopper in the current edition of "Interview" magazine. Now, there's a thespian to miss in the dear departed Mr. Hopper. Here's a few tidbits from the filming of "Apocalypse Now" where Hopper played the crazed photographer in one of his finest roles:
Marlon Brando was indeed, a fat, lazy, selfish ass. He couldn't bring himself to actually read Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" or report to the set anywhere near in shape for the role.
Coppola used actual corpses in many of the scenes. Martin Sheen found out the hard way during one scene on the river patrol boat when he accidentally touched what he thought was a dummy and discovered the difference.
Most of the extras were actual ex-Special Forces soldiers or then current Filipino commandos and the training leading up to filming was said to be brutal. Hopper went through it as he was originally cast as a Green Beret. Nice call by Coppola on the role switch.
Other great stuff in the interview including his work on "Blue Velvet" and "Hoosiers" and others.

Weekend Round Up

2010-07-26T09:38:00.000-05:00

Watched the season premiere of "Mad Men" last night. Like "Breaking Bad," I've decided to begin religiously following the series. Oh, I've watched it here and there but never consistently, but it's television worth viewing as they say and a worthy alternative to the usual "Housewives of Wherever" or tennis or gay men doing home improvement projects that we usually get around our house. The ad stuff is great and reminds one of this:http://www.thebigmoney.com/slideshow/why-don-t-we-do-it-road

Played customer golf on Friday afternoon with customers who had minimal bullshit capabilities on a course outside of town that was designed by monkeys suffering from food pellet deficiency. I'm not a golf snob by any means, but some people should not be allowed anywhere near a designated property with a bulldozer or even a dull rake. Continuity? No sir! Just random mounds, tricked up fairways and greens, and no idea of where it all leads. It would, however, make a splendid gunnery range for the Air Force.

More golf on Saturday at my club this time and I'm pretty sure that I hit every tree on the course in a remarkable display of "pruning by Titleist." They should have made an instructional video of my just under four hours of on course butchery of twigs, limbs, branches, and even an assault on a few trunks. Ghastly.

Went back that evening for the monthly "wine dinner" they hold where the club invites a local wine wholesaler who features wines from a certain country or region that are pared with a three course meal that usually isn't bad. An opportunity to meet new people and the usual country club drill and all and an occasion to throw back five or six glasses of wine and head back home to fool around or pass out or both. This month was Germany and I assumed a pretty good time for some nice German whites which the country is know for that will, of course, be served chilled to match the upper nineties heat outside, etc. No. Instead, the wine merchant, "Mary" who has/had been drilling "Ted" the handsome bartender listened to Ted's wonderful advice that the membership overwhelmingly favors red wines and so she then searched and actually found (and served) some German reds. Horrible and there is damn good reason the square heads produce white wines and it's because reds out of there have all of the charm of Red Army rapists. Disappointing but I have to say the overall awfulness didn't prevent me from guzzling them down which says I'm either opportunistic, a drunk, or conditioned to not turn down drinks. Pathetic.

At the urging of Daughter #2, went with her to see "Inception" yesterday afternoon (she had already seen it and liked it immensely). I like intelligent movies, or more accurately, movies that are written above a second grade education which are sort of rare which this movie clearly represents. That said, I didn't really care for it--lot's of effort and the payoff just isn't there. Call me a dullard. After all, I did eagerly drink down about four glasses of German reds.

Back to Mad Men. They do a pretty good job with the look, feel, and attitudes of the bidness world of the sixties. Hell, even some of the stuff reminds me of what I was around in the 80's when I got out of college. Smoking at desks and in cars and pretty much everywhere? Check. Female secretaries typing out letters? Check. Lots of drinking at all times of the day? Sort of check--never saw a lot of that, but it was around. Anyway, I'll be following the exploits of Don Draper and his merry crew and waiting for the return of the happy and wholesome story of meth production in Breaking Bad.

Webb off the Reservation

2010-07-23T10:18:00.000-05:00

Wonder what the odds are of when Webb becomes independent or, a ghastly Republican? This may hasten the move: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703724104575379630952309408.html?mod=e2fb. He's always been a little on the iconoclastic side and one thing that scares the short pants off both parties is a fellow member that cannot always be counted upon. Webb's that guy.

Those Crazy Stone Age Kids

2010-07-21T14:02:00.001-05:00

Fun and games in 10,000 B.C.:
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/07/21/stone-age-carving-ancient-dildo/?test=latestnews.

Vernon Baker, RIP

2010-07-16T10:38:00.002-05:00

Saw this link over at BlackFive--Vernon Baker the last surviving black American to have been awarded the MOH is dead at 90:
http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=19738.

Tibet Primer

2010-07-15T11:55:00.002-05:00

Think Tibet is a land of mysticism and healing and a higher level of consciousness? Think again:
http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php/site/article/9187/. No, Tibetans are a lot like everyone else and they make good beer. No word in the article confirming if The Lama is a big hitter or not. Gunga la gunga.

Mel Down

2010-07-14T11:38:00.004-05:00

It gets a little more interesting every day with the release of the "Gibson tapes." The latest is that Mel works in arson and fellatio in a single sentence:
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/07/exclusive-audio-out-control-mel-gibson-says-hell-burn-down-house-after-demanding. Reading some of this stuff, the following has occurred to me:

1. He's lost his shit. Seriously in the driving his car off a cliff is the next step variety of shit losing.

2. Mel is a dick. But, he's sometimes an amusing dick. Not in his aggressively misogynistic moments but some fairly funny shit inadvertently comes out of his mouth.

3. Do not ever consort with a Russian chick. They'll drive you bat shit crazy at the least and stab you in the abdomen as a matter of common everyday procedure if they're more seriously inclined. It's a known fact they all carry knives and know how to use them. They will also steal your breath at night and can simultaneously carry off a challenging sex act while jotting down your American Express card number. Ruinous vixens all of them. Ask Mel.

4. I'll miss Mel at the movies. Whatever can be said about him, he was/is a true to life movie star. Christian Bale will have to take up the torch.

5. There's a Jodi Foster directed movie starring Mel that's apparently in post production. Those are surely some happy folks who backed that project. They should maybe take Mel's advice and just go ahead and burn the set and and the film and blow each other.

6. Why the mullet in "Braveheart," Mel? Otherwise, entertaining.

Blood Sports

2010-07-14T10:12:00.002-05:00

A review of a book on bullfighting that, of course, includes Hemingway:
http://www.tnr.com/book/review/the-death-lovers. I got on a Hemingway kick about seven or eight years ago and read a bunch of his stuff, including "Death in the Afternoon" his celebrated story of the demise of a famous bullfighter. Overall, I understand why Hemingway was a pacesetter of sorts and I very much appreciate his unapologetic masculine take on life but I do think that his stuff is now a little dated. The "McComber" story is really my favorite as are his other works set on safari or hunting in North America. I wasn't much taken in by the bullfighting stuff, though I would love to attend a bullfight and hopefully not screw up too much in the way of correct bullfight etiquette--the Spaniards are fussy about all that and I respect them for it.

I've hunted most of my life, so I do have an appreciation or understanding of the death thing as it applies to the sport. I don't live to kill or any of that rot but once you've done it a fair amount and engaged in the whole endeavor, both before and after the shot, you do get a little better acquainted with the life and death process and, I think, are able to view mortality with some additional level of clarity. People who are ranchers and farmers or those who live close to the edge understand it all very, very well and are not beset by the angst of dying and I think that is a healthy thing. The one thing that they get is that all life lives at the expense of something else and that they are part of that. They also have enough respect for the life they take to not make a mockery of it. Bullfighting treads a line on that and you can rightly argue the cons of the sport but the ritual of it is compelling to enough knuckle draggers to keep it going. When I'm in Spain, I'll let you know how it comes out.

Doing Time

2010-07-13T08:41:00.004-05:00

Sorry, I can't resist anything that has "Lesbian Prison Gangs" in its title:
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/07/13/lesbian-prison-gangs-waiting-hands-lindsay-lohan-report-says/?test=faces.

As for me, I watch the prison shows that you see on MSNBC--the ones that drum up revenue to offset the Olbermann/Maddow sit ins--and I'm quite certain that I want nothing to do with going to jail. None. Although I do like going to jail while having to play Monopoly; it saves me from landing on Pennsylvania Avenue or Park Place or wherever and paying rent and having to get into arguments as the game inevitably dissolves into bitterness with everyone finally pulling up stakes and going off in a huff to watch Chelsea Lately or--"Lockdown San Quentin" on MSNBC.

Nighthawks Examined Even More

2010-07-12T09:43:00.002-05:00

Seems like Hopper's "Nighthawks" was all in his head:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/05/opinion/05moss.html?_r=1.

You see that kind a thing a lot in history--both ancient and recent--that we often invent a person who we either are uncertain of his actual character or significance or just make up one entirely. I read a piece this past weekend on "Spartacus" the rebel gladiator which pointed out that we really don't have much of anything as to who he actually was beyond the escaped leader of the slave revolt. Probably Kirk Douglas' film portrayal was as good a guess as any but then again, he could have been a psychopath with a fondness for murder and ceramics. No one really knows. He wasn't no band leader, though. That we're certain.

Mockingbird Examined

2010-07-09T08:42:00.003-05:00

If you worship "To Kill a Mockingbird" in either its book or movie form, don't read this:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703561604575283354059763326.html. Barra just repeats what O'Connor and others have said for a long time--that the book isn't what it's cracked up to be, but try telling that to middle and high school English teachers--they love LOVE it--I'm pretty sure my kids had to read it in at least two grades lest they not be properly indoctrinated in the righteousness that is Atticus Finch. I suppose it could have been a lot worse--they didn't have to tote "Das Kapital" home that I recollect.

I've always liked the movie not so much for the story--it is simplistic--but more for the fairly good portrayal of some things Southern that are steadily disappearing; accents, manners, and certain ways that crackers go about doing and saying things. The kids in the movie did a pretty good job with their accents (sometimes that can ruin a scene or movie--see the child actor who played July Johnson's rural Arkansas son in "Lonesome Dove" who spoke with a notable Northern accent). Also, the actress who played the white trash woman who accuses the noble Tom of rape was very effective in her role--I've known some people that reminded me of her. The movie also has Duvall as Boo Radley (I think it was his first film role). Never a bad thing.

Fun in Islam

2010-07-08T10:39:00.001-05:00

I'm not thinking of converting anytime soon:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38146472/ns/world_news//

Let's Play Doktor!

2010-07-07T16:29:00.002-05:00

Der Spiegel offers this nice piece waxing nostalgic on Germany's leftist revolutionary (read "Green") party's attempts in the '60s/'70's to enlighten children and lead them gently - and free from any sexual "hang ups", it seems - into the new world order: http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,702679-2,00.html
What I found (but shouldn't have) most shocking was how long such a sordid chapter in social engineering lasted, as well as the lengths those enlightened folks involved went to (and still go to) to justify such absurdity.
Not surprisingly, though, was that most parents involved in the planning of and willing participation in such radical social experimentation were "...academics, journalists, and university employees...". Indoctrination of youth has always been a key tenet of most on the left, and they have usually found the public educational system to be a willing participant. Why, just attend any local school district meeting or pick up any university newspaper and you'll see what I mean.

Snobs and Soccer

2010-07-02T09:13:00.003-05:00

Theodore Dalrymple says he's a snob and doesn't care for the current World Cup mania and especially, the French:
http://www.newenglishreview.org/custpage.cfm/frm/66894/sec_id/66894.

Bad Threads

2010-06-28T11:21:00.003-05:00

Here's a piece on some all time worst sports uniforms:
http://www.uniwatchblog.com/2010/06/27/and-the-worst-uni-combo-ever-is/. This is a highly subjective area and everyone has an opinion (along with that useful other thing). Sure, the Bengals look hideous but they are far and away not the worst. Some peeves:

1. The dark jersey/dark pants look in football. Worst offenders: Arizona Cardinals, TTech Red Raiders, Tenn Titans, and the former Heinz Pickle look of the Guy Morris Baylor Bears (green helmet, jersey, pants). Note: as a long suffering Baylor alum, few things are worse than seeing your team emerge from the tunnel decked out in this monstrosity. God must have laughed his ass off--the other teams did and kicked the dog shit out of the Bears to prove it.

2. The use of teal and purple. It became trendy sometime in the 90's and last held up well about five minutes after it was introduced.

3. In baseball, wearing dark jerseys either as the home or away team. Home teams should wear white and road teams should wear gray. Anything else and you look like a slow pitch softball team. Stop it.

4. In basketball, the wearing of the enormous, voluminous clown shorts especially in the college ranks. Made even worse when white guys do it. Cease and desist.

5. Phil Mickelson's strangely tight shirts and short short sleeves. No offense, Phil, but you need some room. Not as chubby as you used to be but still, either move up to XL or buy the sports version of the manzeer.

Chairman Mao Wants You...

2010-06-25T09:01:00.002-05:00

...if you're a white guy who could use a grand or so a week for standing around in a suit and shaking hands
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/rent-a-white-guy/8119. So, quit your whining about affirmative action and go east young white man--they could use some out of work pasty faced banker types over there.

Jillette Speaks

2010-06-22T08:46:00.002-05:00

Vanity Fair interviews Penn Jillette--the one who talks:
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2010/06/penn-jillette-is-willing-to-be-a-guest-on-adolf-hitlers-talk-show.html?printable=tr. Read it and you'll have a new perspective for your Tuesday.

Last Blast from Hopper

2010-06-22T08:16:00.002-05:00

The muckety mucks at Interview Magazine were pals with Dennis Hopper and he sat down with them prior to his death for an interview that is being published in two parts. Do yourself a favor and read the first part here:
http://www.interviewmagazine.com/film/dennis-hopper/. Damn, what a fascinating guy who packed a lot into his life--you get to see him up to "Easy Rider" in the interview. Knew where all the skeletons were buried, too. The stuff he brings up about James Dean and Natalie Wood and the sets on "Giant," etc. are just too good to miss.

Just too little of Hopper for me. Wish we still had him.

Spill Perspective

2010-06-21T09:49:00.002-05:00

Nature can bounce back quicker than a lot of people realize:
http://www.newsobserver.com/2010/06/13/530250/after-big-1979-spill-a-stunning.html. Maybe.

Bourdain

2010-06-15T13:35:00.002-05:00

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703685404575307042002589752.html?mod=ITP_pageone_1. Mrs. Bulba enjoys watching his "No Reservations" show, which means that Mr. Bulba gets to watch it, too. It's fairly entertaining at times--Bourdain eats a lot of interesting stuff from around the world and isn't some fussy foodie type, eschewing lamb for tofu or something. However, I did see an episode where he traveled to Provence in order to hang with the frogs and he did his level best to suck up to them and slaved away cooking some regional specialty of theirs only to have them do the typical frog turn of the nose at what he presented. Ungrateful bastards--he should have turned the Wehrmacht on them.

Jimmy Dean, RIP

2010-06-15T11:44:00.002-05:00

Interesting write up:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703685404575307042002589752.html?mod=ITP_pageone_1. He did okay for a country ass from Plainview. And, if you've ever been in or around Plainview, that's much more than an understatement. Also, I'm now hungry for some pan fried sausage.

Vampires Explained

2010-06-15T09:55:00.003-05:00

Michael Sims says that he now understands how the whole vampire thing came about:
http://chronicle.com/article/All-the-Dead-Are-Vampires/65829. In short, Victorians and others were very familiar with death and dying and had frequent access and observation of corpses. Hence, they ascribed some of the more odd and ghastly features of decomposition to nefarious causes and the vampire became popular, with Anne Rice and now legions of females the happy beneficiaries. I'm not sure that you can find a network now that doesn't have some type of vampire inspired programming--chicks dig it. I read one of Rice's books (I think it was "The Vampire Lestat") and it was marginally entertaining and interesting in her description of how vamps operated and the overall technical aspects of being a ghoul but the relentless gay theme of her stuff got a little old. I've since learned that women are somewhat fascinated about the world of gay men and that most of the bodice rippers that feature gay men (would that be instead, "crotch rippers?") are written by women for largely female audiences. Yeah, that's just a tad strange but we report and you decide.

I liked Coppola's vampire treatment in his "Bram Stoker" vehicle which featured Gary Oldman as Vlad the original impaler of people who pissed him off. Not bad.

Realignment Buzz

2010-06-14T14:23:00.004-05:00

Realignment (both real and speculative) is the sports beat bomb right now, particularly of the Big 12 variety. Some thoughts:

1. Money talks, bullshit walks.

2. Current buzz is that the Big 12 will live, with the Holy Trinity of Texas, OU, and A&M receiving a larger share of a reported to be named television contract, with the seven dwarfs receiving a smaller, albeit much larger than today share of coinage. If this is true, representatives from several or all of the remaining schools are gratefully genuflecting toward Austin as we speak.

3. Colorado appears to have shit in their own mess kit. And, all of the noise and the Pac 10 walks away with a party school with fading athletic fortunes? What a turn of events.

4. Nebraska goes to the Big 10 and gets to sit out in the cold and get spit on by bitter rust belt fans. That Tom Osborne is one crazy guy.

5. Baylor probably thinks that Yahweh threw in on this deal--they were headed to the front range of the Mountain West only to be immersed in the healing waters of flowing Big 12 money, courtesy apparently of officially atheistic Texas. DeLoss Dodds goes on the name of the new religious studies building in Waco and some lucky faculty/administrative staff member is on call each day for the rest of Dodd's natural life should he desire a Lewinsky moment.

6. Some talk of the Aggies moving to the SEC. Wrong, Aggies, wrong. Wrong again. Not correct. Get in line behind DeLoss and let him talk. When the cash comes in the new Big 12 TV deal, thank the gentleman and go back to your seat.

7. More on Baylor: if it works out, they should enjoy the breath of relief and shot to the wallet but should also maybe make some serious contingency plans for the next go around--I'm thinking they're not so lucky next time. Some lunch dates and gift baskets to the Mountain West commissioner would be a good idea. Otherwise, win some more football games.

8. Lots of message board/letters to the editor smack during this period--much of it in the form of T-sip/Aggie variety but also a lot of vitriol directed toward Baylor, mostly by Longhorn faithful. "Don't belong/can't compete/don't deserve" is most often mentioned. Lots of spite and underlying resentment present and it seems likely that each letter writer's girlfriend/wife/gay lover was once figuratively screwed by a Baylorite. They can't fill up a stadium worth a shit, but those Bears are born again rock stars in the sack. Chicks dig a hymn well sung.

9. It's June and all everyone is talking about is college football. Cased closed--it's THE game.

10. Oh, this soccer deal they're having in Africa or wherever. Fans continuously blow horns due to the combined effects of a low IQ and relentless boredom. Games end "Nil-Nil" and pandemonium and unbridled celebration erupts. Actual victories and/or scores result in multiple orgasms and the sighting of unicorns. Shamefully, the United States has allowed itself to participate, further paving the way for our decline as a nation. I blame it on Seattle and Connecticut. Goddamn weenies.

11. I miss the SWC.

Dick and Liz Could Party

2010-06-14T14:10:00.002-05:00

If you thought of yourself as a fair hand at partying, read this and you'll realize that you're an amateur:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703433704575303743290834292.html?KEYWORDS=richard+burton. 23 tequila shots would pretty much deep six most of us, but Burton was an Englishman, with a system derived from centuries of Anglo Saxon drunkenness and not so selective breeding. Taylor's still kicking though she long ago became daffy from all of the booze and penis worship. My favorite Burton role is in "Night of the Iguana." Great pic and it put Puerto Vallarta on the map. After the movie and the stories of Burton, Liz, John Huston, and Ava Gardner all blowing it out and amazing the locals with tequila and cigarette consumption, everyone wanted to go there (or Acapulco) to do the ugly gringo thing. Largely succeeded at it, too.

On Call

2010-06-11T10:35:00.003-05:00

Crazy kids these days like to text rather than call:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704312104575298590730890292.html?mod=WSJ_Opinion_LEFTTopOpinion. With a current teen daughter and one now a new ex-teen, I have learned this--they are rarely available (meaning, they just don't want to bother) to answer phone calls, especially those placed by dads who are no doubt inquiring about an urgent financial matter resulting from a just opened American Express bill. No, they aren't even that fond of email--seldom checked and then just skimmed. What they do with wild abandon is text and more text. If you don't believe me, take a look at the cell phone bill of anyone who has a teen with a phone--you won't believe the number of text minutes--sometimes even more than the amount of minutes thought to be humanly possible or that actually exist as we know them. Staggering.

As also pointed out in the piece, women; specifically the mothers of these teen daughters like to talk...a lot. Sure, they text some and check email a little but what they do is have one long phone conversation after another to friends, moms, sisters and other female types. Sometimes husbands but those are mostly of the task variety which is a nice way of saying that they were too busy talking to their friends to go to the grocery store/cleaners/pharmacy/whatever and can you do it on the way home? Yeah, those kind of calls. Here's a Father's Day hint, ladies: instead of buying him something fairly useless, make a call to him that he'll like--you know, the one where you tell him you're at home alone and not wearing much and could he possibly stop by for a little R&R--that kind of call. Costs a lot less than a cordless power drill.

Duke

2010-06-11T08:52:00.003-05:00

John Wayne died on this date thirty one years ago. By all accounts, a swell guy to run with and no one since has come anywhere near approximating what made him unique. He wasn't a Brando or Dean but was a tremendous actor, nevertheless and combined with his physicality--they just don't come much better. A damn smart fellow, too--ever hear him interviewed about the acting craft or directing or movie making? Impressive. Also, he took a leak into Ward Bond's whiskey flask which should count for something. Salud, El Duque.

Distressing

2010-06-10T14:52:00.002-05:00

Says here that "The View" is highly influential among middle aged American women as a first stop for their news: news:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB20001424052748704575304575296371206044884.html#mod=todays_us_nonsub_pj. My question for women is how can this not be more embarrassing? Or, am I just out of touch and tone deaf? I don't know, but anything that features the yammering of Joy Behar and Woopie and Baba--especially when it comes to politics or serious news--is something that I'm not going to be interested in seeing. Then again, I'm not a woman. Allegedly.

Pictured here is Elisabeth Hasselbeck or whatever her name is who is the lone "conservative" member of the panel (a somewhat common network news practice). I have no idea if Elisabeth is an idiot or smart or annoying but she's a helluva lot better to look at than the rest of the lineup.

Sammy

2010-06-10T14:31:00.002-05:00

Interesting and resonantly sad piece on Sammy Davis, Jr. and how he turned his back on his true talent (mimicry and dancing) to get as close to being white as possible:
http://www.city-journal.org/2010/20_2_urb-sammy-davis-jr.html. Later, when being black became fashionable, he desperately tried to re-up but his street cred was long gone.

It's never pretty watching people attempting to be something that they're not. At lunch, caught a bit of what I guess is the opening ceremonies for the World Cup thingy. Featured were performers engaged in some fairly obvious African dances, with musicians doing the African drum thing in accompaniment. Here and there you could see a young white South African girl attempting to do the same. Doesn't work. Oh, also, golfers should be prohibited from doing (better yet, attempting to do) a high five or any other like movement effortlessly performed by black people the world over. Never once executed properly or without obvious clumsy discomfort in the entire history of the PGA. Even Tiger looks bad attempting it and he's at least 30 or 40 percent black or something. Maybe the problem there is that his caddy is a goofy white guy from Australia. Anyway, white guys (especially white golfers) should always offer a conventional handshake or fist bump as those moves are difficult to screw up. On the other hand, black guys should never, ever participate in an "Up with People" chorus or drive a Subaru, not that a black person has ever even been inside a Subaru--lesbians snatch them off the lot before they can even get a test drive. Racists.