Got my monthly "Howdy" message from Baylor Proud, or whatever they call themselves. For some reason I still can't quite fathom, I clicked on the link for pictures of the Homecoming '08 Parade. Hmmm. Highly disturbing. Not just the fact that twenty-some odd years and vast increases in technology have led to several steps back in the quality of the floats - they sucked mightily. Nor the fact that not only did I not see a single malted beverage container, I didn't even see anybody that looked even remotely hung over. No smoke coming out of the floats, nothing. Reminded me of cub scout fun day. And though I wasn't too impressed with the Baylor lasses, that didn't really bother me. As Jerry Jones would say, we had the pick of the litter back in our day, so such drop in quality came as no surprise.
No, what bothered me was that the fucking Betas are still on campus. No, wait. It gets worse. They tag-teamed it with the Sigma Chi's to build a float. What the hell is that all about? The Bull getting chummy with the dandies at Sigma Chode-Woofer? I think it wouldn't bother me so much that Taurus got a pass if they at least still sported a pair. Nope - apparently they sold their collective souls - or at least cut off their boys - to have the privilege of remaining an active chapter.
7 comments:
I get to at least 4 Baylor games per year yet have ZERO desire to see a parade, a pigskin review or a bonfire. Re: Pigskin Review (Revue?) I read somewhere that "nothing says college football like JAZZ HANDS!"
Okay, maybe I'd settle for a bonfire some day, but I'd sleep in for the friggin' parade or perhaps hit either the George's Tent or George's hardhat (the original) to get myself properly motivated to endure another Baylor game.
However, for I don't know how long I simply treat homecoming like another game -- I drive in, watch the mauling and leave when it's over (which for the last ten years or so has been by the 2nd quarter or so). I'll stay over if my parents are in from Tennessee, but that's as rare as Baylor Homecoming wins.
That said, hope still springs eternal with young Robert Griffin under center applying Art Briles' offensive schemes. Shoot, we're an 8 point favorite this week, can you believe it????). Hats off to you, Taras, for subjecting yourself to all that mediocrity.
Speaking of mediocrity, I took in the Rice-Army game with my two older boys Saturday. It was actually a damned fine game, made more impressive by a halftime event that dwarfed anything Baylor could ever do.
Reunion class representatives came onto the field to begin the halftime. Each was displaying oversized checks representing the contributions their class had amassed during the previous fund-raising campaign. The smallest check was for something in the neighborhood of 500 grand...the smallest, mind you.
Three checks were over a mil and two checks were over 2 mil. Even the irreverent MOB was jacked up over that. Rice is not a big school with hundreds of thousands of alumni clawing to give money back in hopes of getting an end zone football ticket. These folks just love their school for what it is, a beautiful setting for a truly odd collection of gifted and/or brilliant minded misfits to waste quality time while working to get their shit together for the post-graduate (read: REAL) world. Hats off to them, especially now that they have an interesting football team.
When the checks had been read off, there was no homecoming court to present; no inane introduction of "really neat professors"; no recognition of former lettermen. No special guests at all. Just the MOB, which unfortunately sucked in its effort to present some rendering of a MOB flavored Dickens Christmas Carol ala Rice U whatever. Yeah, it probably went over my head, but my boys were buzzing about other stuff, making it tricky for me to keep up with the monologue.
One final observation: it's tough to find a babe at a Rice game. Their fem options make Floyd Casey Stadium look like Rio during Carnivale. One of these days I gotta get me to Baton Rouge, Austin or Oxford, MS for a night game, preferably while it's still a tad warm and the clothing options are downplayed.
Trip the light fantastic and all that AMAZING shit.
The talent at UT games is strong, especially so during the warm weather games (which are virtually each home game). Gameday at UT does not match the manic intensity of LSU but it has its own level of coolness and some extensive tailgating. I weep when driving up to Floyd Casey. Bula Fucking Bula.
Oh, yeah, Beta Theta Pi has officially jumped the fucking shark. I wouldn't be shocked to see some wheezing Taurus emerge from the crowd to cold cock one of those nancy boys.
At last weekend's cub scout campout I took a few minutes to acquaint myself with the father of one of my new scouts. Nice guy, and talk soon turned to football. He mentioned that he was from Iowa, and attended the home state university. I told him that, all serious talk of football aside, I was a product of Baylor Universtiy. He quickly replied that he loved our football stadium. Thought it was really cool.
I spent the rest of the weekend waiting for the fucking punchline. None came. He was dead serious.
Baylor Stadium isn't really that bad and there aren't that many bad seats. What's awful, of course, is where it's located.
Wasn't Mandrake supposed to be on top of the on campus stadium effort? What the fuck is the deal there, Mandrake? You're the one with the goddamn faggoty Cotton Bowl pants and all, Mr. Baylor Man--show us what you got. Huh? Huh? Just what I thought--still using all your spare time to be admitted into the Kappa Omega Tau "Alumni by Choice" program.
STAND AND DELIVER!
I'm stunned speechless by that last personal observation of yours, TB. Such Raup-like blastings are best inventoried as, "Shock and Awe," assaults.
KOT indeed, huh? I sure hate to see you all depressed like this, Mr. Bulba. How 'bout if me and the boys was to steal you a KOT shield? Would that pep you up a bit? Some of us are still trying to earn that elusive 3rd sig of yours.
Group Captain
"Eggnog?"
My pledge class standing before the membership and then pulling a KOT shield out of a burlap bag as a "gift to the brotherhood" produced a round of stomping and shouting not heard west of Tiger Stadium.
Question: Is the lifelong hatred and revulsion of all things KOT deserved? Discuss among yourselves.
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