Texas/OU Report

Here's the facts:

Left for Dallas on Friday morning, arriving at the state fair around 2pm. For those of you who don't know it, "Fair Park" in Dallas is located in a somewhat economically disadvantaged area. In short, you can easily get your white ass killed there. We payed seven bucks to park at an ancient black lady's house, right next to a run down structure that was right out of central casting's idea of a crack house. If it wasn't, I'd be shocked. Nice lady who also ran some pretty good smack at an idiot question posed by one of our party. Hope she made a lot of money. Payed fifteen bucks for the privilege of entering the Texas State Fair and seeing some of the ugliest people around waddling about the place while participating in high caloric food intake. The usual carny games, rides, automobile displays, livestock chewing their cud, displays on how cotton and beef are making America safe from godless communist bastards--you know, the typical state fair/rodeo stuff. Hideously overpriced beer (didn't stop me from downing five or six of them) and middling musical acts here and there. Posed for some pics in front of the Cotton Bowl, itself and in front of both the UT and OU equipment trailers which indicate how many national championships in a sort of an 18 wheeler pissing contest (for the record, OU has more).

Afterward, meandered over to Nimdok's abode who graciously ran Mrs. Nimdok out of the house and into a hotel in order for him to play with his friends and/or for her to escape leering, groping, and horrific body odors of his assembled "friends." I think it largely worked. Anyway, an actually intelligent adult decision was made (one of few) and we engaged a taxi for transport to the front, which for this battle was the "Uptown" section in and around McKinney Avenue. Wise choice. Some good chow at a pub that I don't recall and then a nice half mile or so walk to our destination, the always outstanding, Idle Rich bar (weather was splendid Friday night and all through the weekend). Walk over was enhanced by an encounter and subsequent attempt to engage one of our party for services by a pretty good looking pro. It would have made a good story and I was pulling for him to do it, but he passed--it's amazing how you never stop wanting your friends to get into trouble. Little changes but I digress. We made it to the IR and secured a table out on the patio overlooking the sidewalk about four or five feet below. Wise, wise choice. What followed was about five hours of viewing of why Texas (and to be fair, Oklahoma) have the most beautiful women on this planet. Incredible. A simply glorious parade down the sidewalk, out of cabs, and into the IR. Also outstanding were the many wonderful and very pretty bartenders that love Nimdok and worship him as if he were a god. Well, I kind of made that last part up, but they do really like him. Also present were several of Nimdok's regular Wednesday night crew. Together, we were all about twenty five years older than anyone else, but we more than held our own and I didn't hear even one AARP reference (I was admittedly concentrating on visual aspects of the place and may have missed something) We received a few free drinks, bought some for a few of the lovely young ladies who I'm reasonably sure thought we reminded them of their dads, and had a smaller than deserved tab. And, enough photos courtesy of Nimdok's goddamn little camera to put us all in divorce court and consigned to run bait stands in Port Lavaca. Bastard.

Saturday morning was cruel--I wasn't sure that I could make it to the shower or that the water wouldn't somehow kill me but somehow managed. We motored it over to John's Cafe which serves a marvelous breakfast without fail--damn I wish he would franchise it, but it probably wouldn't be the same. His "breakfast special" beats anything you'll get in the Russian Tea Room. Fact. Another thing good about John's is that you leave satisfied and well oiled for a manly bowel movement. Unfortunately, mine came in a port-o-can on the state fair grounds, but it nevertheless went well. Prior to that, we paid the princely sum of thirty bucks to a guy on dope and parked in what has to be a chop shop or a possible site for the next "Saw" movie. I was sure that we'd by strung up by chains and drawn and quartered upon our return for the car, but it didn't happen--see, what does worrying get you? Anyway, made it to the game in the ancient Cotton Bowl, where you'll get crappy beverage service and like it. If you haven't been to the Texas/OU game, you should do it. Two great and historic programs, with great fans (also, a lot of assholes), traditions, and colors dividing the stadium exactly in half. Lots of hate, lots of "OU sucks!" or "Texas sucks!" or worse. The game was frustrating to watch--penalties, errors, injuries, ineffective offenses in spades but still great to take in. I'd do it again.

I'm leaving some stuff out. It's for the best.