March Madness

Here's something to think about: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dick_vitale_more_sexual_during?utm_source=a-section. Who knew that Vitale was such an animal? Shocking. March Madness has become a pretty big deal, in large part because of the millions of office bracket pools and the fact that there's really nothing else going on right now in the wide, wide world of sports. Sure, there's the NBA but they're still in their silly season before the real season (playoffs) begin. Baseball is in spring training where players are ironing out kinks in between playing golf and fornicating. Golfers are golfing but no one seems to care unless Tiger is rumored to be somewhere on the course grounds. There's hockey, but the strikes have stuck a pretty big stake in fan interest to the point that you have to look on some obscure cable channel to find a game.

I've discussed the NCAA tournament and it's increasing popularity with friends and we've speculated on what would happen if and when a college football playoff is adopted, given America's embrace of football as its national pastime (next to shopping). Essentially, the consensus is that the country (even most of the blue states) would pretty much shut down for a month while the thing played out. People wouldn't just follow intently--they'd quit their jobs, leave their families, live in stadium parking lots, not shower, subsist on sausage products, Fritos, and beer and become literally quite insane. We'd become highly vulnerable to attack--hell, the Chinese could probably drive tanks up and down Pennsylvania Avenue and no one would give a shit except for a few displaced crack dealers. Anyone still showing up at their jobs wouldn't actually do anything except hit the ESPN refresh button all day like monkeys tapping the food pellet bar. But, damn, it would be some fun. Hold on folks: first games will kick off in late August. Boolah-boolah.