Sorry, Shellback, but unless it involves a tuxedo, some fantasy the missus has cooked up after 2 bottles of wine/repeated viewings of "The Thin Man", the promise of a night I'll never forget and a blond wig, I don't "do" big band. If I did, I'd probably look like "pops" over there to the right.
But I gotta hand it old pops over there - he's kicking back with a cold brew. Beer - now you're talking. Beer is to men what ice cream or chocolate is to women - comfort food. Hard day at work? Have a cold one. Long day of yard work under the hot sun? Make it all worth while with a frosty brew-doggie. Finally secure that kitchen pass for 18 holes with you buddies? Don't forget to ice down some brewskies because, hell, you don't really think your golf game's gonna be worth a shit, do ya?
Beer is also the perfect answer to "What do I do now?". Run into an old friend? "Hey, let's have a couple of beers, talk old times...". Run into an old enemy? "Hey, it's good to see you. How 'bout a beer or two, talk about what a prick you used to be...". Old girlfriend? " You up for a beer or two? Maybe I'll remember why I hit on you to begin with...".
Most of all, beer is like an old friend. Sure, it's changed a little over the years, but it's still there for you. Years ago it was a neighborhood kid, a skinny little dork, and had names like Bud, Bush and Coors. Later it - and you - matured. It filled out a little and you called your old pal Heineken and Molson Golden. Finally, you became a man of the world, with tastes to suit. Your trusted friend became worldly as well, and you called him Guinness and Urquell.
The best thing is that our friend has now become damn near a frat house full of bros. Hot outside? Modelo, Shiner or Red Stripe sounds mighty good. Looking for something a little heavier, something to really enjoy? Pour yourself a Boddington's or Murphy's. Trying to impress that well rounded chick at the table in the corner, the one enjoying Chimay Blue? Order up a Houblon Chouffe Dobbelen IPA Tripel, and pour it yourself. Enjoy, because you are now in like Flint.
There's even a place for that skinny little brat you first met. I never said no to a long-necked bud, and I never will. Gotta admit it - I still enjoy them, too.
2 comments:
I have expanded my beer horizons in recent years. I'm not just confirmed Coors Light man anymore.
I enjoy a good Shiner Bock or Abita when I indulge in beer. While on the cruise the other week, I drank only local beer although I'm at a loss to recall the names of any of them. They were good but not memorable. Perhaps I'll have a Miller Lite while watching the Bears tomorrow night.
I find it impossible to have "a couple of beers" as is the common expression. Both one and two are highly satisfying and die quickly--how do you stop at that point? I went to a wedding Saturday and there were kegs of Shiner (along with liquor). It's just not every day that one has such an opportunity so the sleeves were rolled up and earnest work begun. Later, Mrs. Taras drove us home.
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