Jerry!

Great, great interview with Jerry Lewis:http://www.gq.com/entertainment/humor/201108/jerry-lewis-interview-gq-august-2011?printable=true&currentPage=1.  I disagree with the French--I liked him best not in "The Nutty Professor," but in Scorcese's underrated, "King of Comedy."  See it sometime--Lewis is outstanding, playing a New York nighttime TV host and the subject of a muddleheaded kidnapping.

Odds and ends:

It's hot.  Damn hot.  Most of the plant and animal world has pretty much said, "F*** it, I'm tired of living" and has decided to just haul off and die.  I decided to use an asterisk in that sentence less someone think I was typing "fuck" or some other bad word.  Just wanted to clarify that.

College football gets here in three weeks and our long national nightmare will end.  Most importantly, college football tailgating gets here.  I'll do a fair amount of it this "fall" (we don't really have fall here--instead we go into "more summer") though Mrs. Bulba has expressed an interest in no longer using a Port-a-Can unless she's in a forced labor camp, so I'll be dropping her off with Daughter #2 who is also attending my Alma mater.  They'll spend that time doing the ritual coloring of nails and other stuff that's outside my field of qualifications and I'll do my best to not be caught ogling eye candy, screaming, or vomiting beside the truck when they both show up before the game.  Probably should of thought about that when she was picking out colleges--will have to behave.

We're getting more and more into the presidential campaign swing--the R's just got through having a debate.  I think it's time when everyone should learn to get along and be friends with people of opposite political persuasions, even though that person is obviously dumb as a goddamn shovel.  I'm friends with lots of people who I'm sure think that of me and vice versa.  Well maybe vice and not versa, but you get the drift.  Yes, let's all be Americans and hold hands and be friends, etc.  Except, some things are just unpardonable.  So:

We can't be friends if you like Kenny Chesney.  People have to listen to Kenny Chesney in Hell, so if you listen to Kenny Chesney it proves that you're nothing but a goddamned Satan worshipper bent on spreading the dominion of evil in God's country.  In Europe, Kenny Chesney partners with ABBA, so the same applies there. 

We can't be friends if you like "The Princess Diaries" and Ann(e) Hathaway.  I don't want to get into all of it, but I had to go to that movie when it came out and it stole roughly two of the best hours out of my life and expanded them to twenty years.  I would have paid good money to have been beaten with a board or repeatedly kicked in the groin in lieu of that experience or at least been able to smoke Camel non-filters for all of these years.  Hathaway should be cloistered in a convent somewhere in Albania, making wart balm and brooms and listening to ABBA for the rest of her days.

We can't be friends if you say, "Amazing" in every other sentence, especially if you are someone over thirty.  Under that age, it's a points system deal based on other levels of obnoxiousness and personal grooming.  Speaking of personal grooming--note to the twenty something generation and I'm talking about white twenty somethings--please accept the concept of showering and hygiene.  It seems that black people and Hispanics are on board with washing their ass on a daily basis but Kevin and Kristen on their way to the co-op are a little less so, preferring to spend that time syncing their iPhone and listening to instructions from Jon Stewart.   Anyway, learn a new word every now and then.  I first noticed this about ten years ago and it's become a national disgrace--no one can conjure up an adjective to describe anything ranging from a notable event to a bowel movement other than the A word. 

We can't be friends if you are a pod builder--the person who does not comprehend the concept of the left lane is for passing, instead creating a traffic pod for the twenty or so cars behind him or her.  If we were truly a successful nation, we would have cargo helicopters patrolling our highways, snatching slow vehicles in the left lane and depositing them in large lots where their drivers would then be herded into re-education camps to be instructed on driving etiquette and not being a jackass.

We can be friends if you're the guy who invented DQ soft serve ice cream, served in a cone.  Tastes good with a Shiner.

Happy Motoring.