Courage

No, I'm not talking about Dan Rather's ridiculous sign off before he was nationally exposed as a first rate sanctimonious shithead rivalling even Bill Moyers. Rather, the Templeton Foundation has a great online newsletter and one of their recent issues posed the question to six scholars/thinkers/pontificators "Were the 9/11 Terrorists Cowards or Courageous?"http://www.incharacter.org/article.php?article=132. I'm by no means a thinker or an intellectual (should be obvious to anyone unfortunate enough to flounder onto this blog) but this isn't really a hard question for me to answer, but I was curious as to the responses from the big brains. Fortunately, contained in their pieces are some worthy gems:

From Ruth R. Wisse:

"America may appear to have incomparable advantages of population, resources, and a fighting tradition embodied in its national anthem, but if a significant portion of its elites no longer recognize and advocate the values that separate them from Islamists, the country will be overtaken by those with stronger convictions--from within and from without. The Japanese honored their kamikaze pilots, and Islamists honor the suicide attackers on Israel and America. Courage and cowardice are culturally determined, and God cannot help the society that confuses its values with those of its rivals." I think Ruth probably got scratched off the cocktail party list of the moral equivalency crowd with that brand of clear thinking.

From Robert Royal:

"There's nothing noble about walking into a pizza parlor in Israel and blowing up yourself and a bunch of civilians. There's nothing elevating in shooting up a Mumbai hotel, attacking Westerners, and dying in the process. And even in the marriage of Heaven and Hell, to which the modern world sometimes desperately seeks to aspire, it takes great credulity to believe that there was anything in the September 11 murderers worthy of the exalted name of courage." Robert won't be speaking at Harvard anytime soon.

From Paul McHugh (on the group of Flight 93 passengers who fought the attackers):

"Their aims and actions emerged from circumstances they faced and their sense of responsibility for its outcome. With little time to plan, they tied to thwart the aims of their opponents. Realistic conceptions and life-sustaining motivations brought them partial success and the gratitude of their countrymen." Put McHugh in the capitalist lackey crowd with the others.

The concept of courage is further explored in a piece in the same issue, titled "A Soldier's Book Bag" by Anita Blair. Included in her list of books popular with professional soldiers (in the United States, at least) are: "Once an Eagle, a novel by Anton Myrer about the career of a good officer against a "bad careerist" and the historical work by John Keegan, "The Face of Battle" which explores several epic battles, including Agincourt. I haven't read Myrer's book, but I did read W.E.B. Griffin's "The Corps" series which has a similar theme of a brave, resourceful officer often finding himself on the short end of things when confronted by toadying career types only interested in security and promotion. Great books with interesting detail. My old man, a former Marine liked them, so I guess that's an endorsement beyond my own. Regarding Agincourt, I'm going to reread Keegan, since I just finished a novel about Agincourt by renowned serial historical fiction writer, Bernard Cornwell. His is a cracking good book and a first rate page turner and it brought the battle to light well beyond what I had previously understood. Included is a great acknowledgement at the end, where he cites the scholarly works in which he relied, and pointed out fictional embellishments. Cornwell excels at painting the gruesome business of war, particularly of the medieval sort. Was courage displayed at Agincourt? Most certainly, but also a great deal of plain meanness and national vengeance. Give it a go if you want some great summer reading.

Up and Coming

Yo, Taras, the next time the womenfolk commandeer the remote and air women's tennis throughout the house, you might wanna grab a brew and watch for a while. Fresh faced (amongst other things) Simona Halep, a seventeen year old Romanian, might just be bouncing her balls around the court...

Burning Down the House

The best thing I've seen regarding green energy and the energy question as a whole: http://www.city-journal.org/2009/19_2_carbon.html. The guy who wrote it has too much horse sense to get through to the posturing nabobs out there, but he gives it a solid effort. I know that every time I drive west on IH-10 through Texas, I see more and more wind turbines on mesas and wonder just what is the end result from these things. As the article indicates, a few more nuclear plants would dwarf the whole enterprise. The French have 'em in spades and we know how much more civilized and refined they are than us, so why not?

More on death...

...or, obituaries to be exact: http://www.thesmartset.com/article/article04220903.aspx. I read the obituaries every day--they appear in the "Metro" section of my city's rag. Most are of little note, though occasionally I see someone I know (or should know) or read one that touches me, such as the death of a child or someone who seemed genuinely good. Increasingly though, I see an unfortunate trend toward amateurism, with family members or friends eschewing the help of the paper's obit staff and embarking on oddly thought out and sometimes bizarre send offs. Of course, this has a lot to do with my city which has more than a few free spirits bouncing around the place. Another awful trend is the writer taking the opportunity to proclaim that dear Aunt Linda "was a proud Democrat and would want her friends to vote Democratic in the upcoming election" or Uncle Richard "spent his last hours discussing Ronald Reagan's misuse of the Constitution" (actual quote). Is that how you really want to be remembered, as a spiteful old shit wrapped up in something that really doesn't matter? Please, folks, get a damn grip.

I've written a couple of obituaries; one for my old man and the other for my father in law. In both instances, I have learned the value of sticking to the facts and not getting melodramatic with the thing. Also, when it comes to the funeral services themselves, there's a lot to be said with sticking to tradition--it keeps the thing from getting out of hand and turning into a fiasco on behalf of the departed. I personally witnessed that once when a business client and friend died and his loved ones decided to have memorial service, inviting friends and family up to the mic to say something about old John. After the second or third story about old John and his exploits in Boys Town, I had firmly decided that a tidy, old fashioned church service (pick any) makes a lot of sense. Old John gets a few nice words said about him, he's buried, and his "friends" can relate the whore house stories with each other on their next hunting trip--not in front of his widow and daughters.

I think for me, I would like a quick obit to note that I don't give a rat's ass for who you vote for or whether or not you want to send flowers and not to get into any of my odd interests or note that I enjoyed nature or any of that other Reader's Digest crap. In fact, I'd just prefer the thing published after I'm cremated or buried or thrown into a cactus flat and folks and the world can go merrily along. There you have it.

Buckley on Dying

Christopher Buckley pens something that's a bit long but well worth the read: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/26/magazine/26buckley-t.html?&pagewanted=all. It's interesting not only from the standpoint of allowing us to peek into the world of the Buckley family, and along with it much of the American political elite and associative odd behavior, but also Christopher's own journey of accompanying his father through the last year or so of his death, and also the last month or so of his mother's demise. It's inevitable that we'll all be orphans--well, that is if we outlive our parents--some of 'em are pretty tough old birds and might outlast us. Like the younger Buckley, I spent a lot of time with my old man from the time of his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer to holding his hand when he drew his last breath. If you haven't been through the process, you'll find that you learn a lot about what goes into dying, as well as reflecting on your own mortality. While my dad did not suffer a pain wracked deterioration toward death, it's nevertheless something that wasn't pleasant to behold, especially the final stages. I made the two hour drive over to my parents' house every Saturday morning for those nine months to be there in time to cook him breakfast (he never lost his appetite and liked having fried eggs and biscuits) and to also help out my mom a little around the house. In the last three or four months, he was on some fairly heavy morphine doses, so he faded in and out a lot during the process and discussing anything substantive was not realistic. I had always maybe hoped for some lasting heart to heart conversations of a profound nature, but they didn't come and I suppose they don't come for most. You're pretty much who you are at that point and issues don't necessarily suddenly clarify or become resolved; they just end. After the diagnosis, however, he did do a few things out of character, namely he did talk about the war a little with me, something he never liked doing and I sort of wrote down the story he told me regarding his involvement in one Pacific engagementhttp://ussslcca25.com/fletcher.htm#top. But, he wouldn't talk about other battles like Tarawa--some things he never get over and would remain nailed shut for all time. Probably better that they did.

Piano News

Here's a piece from Denis Dutton from 2007 regarding an old hag who faked a series of piano performances and gained international acclaim before somebody finally said, WTF? Interesting reading: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/26/opinion/26dutton.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1.

I don't know jack about music and there's really no other excuse but laziness. Even if you don't play or sing, you can still be educated about the subject but my eyes tend to gloss over whenever I'm tempted to learn something about what makes a certain piece of music good or why Beethoven is better than Mozart or whatever. I do like the stuff, though. All kinds, too. As we speak, I'm reviewing playlists on my ipod for the Saturday morning heavy workout. Typically, I go for something high energy with a take no prisoners attitude. This morning, I'm a little more mamby pamby, so maybe Springsteen or some other whining "The Russians Love Their Children, Too" artiste gets a listen. I don't know. Probably will revert back to a standby whenever indecision reigns--that little ol' band from Texas--you know what I'm talking about.

I took piano lessons once when I was a kid. The old man, despite being a hard ass had a soft spot for "piana music" so I was dispatched to the home of "Miss Edna," an old lady who was in my mom's Eastern Star chapter who taught piano music to ignorant redneck children. Miss Edna was a sweet old lady and all (she had terrible arthritis that had crippled her hands) but she had the worst breath I have ever experienced, and bench time with her was a horrid experience. Too, playing the piano was way down on my priority list when it came to baseball and football and throwing rocks at my cousins and perfecting curse words and throwing frogs onto the lighted barbecue grill and the eternal quest of seeking fireworks at all times. You get the drift. I did make it to one recital and discovered the phenomena that are finger sandwiches. Those things are tasty and I can pretty much eat forty without much effort. So, I guess Miss Edna wasn't a total failure and I think of her kindly whenever I'm throwing down those pimento cheese filled delights.

Please note that the young lady above has never plagarized piano music and we apologize for any allegations of such upon her character.

Extend This

Are you completely fed up with the unending wave of dick pill and wang extender ads on your color television set? Okay then, here's a little something for you: http://www.cracked.com/blog/if-penis-enlargement-ads-told-the-truth/. This is the most horrible and creepiest of the bunch and nothing makes it worse than its appearance when you're sitting in front of the television amongst mixed company--I'm talking about spouse and teenage daughter kind of company here. Just awful. Can we go on record with something now; that there is not a forty something man in America and probably planet earth who is NOT aware that there are some remedies available for penis lag. EVERYONE knows the brands and how to get them so can we knock off the relentless ad campaigns, especially during seemingly innocuous programming? In fact, the drug companies can eschew the TV ads and just mail some samples out to every man in America over forty and they will achieve more success than throwing up Cialis ads every ninety seconds on the goddamn golf channel.

End of rant. Sarah Varone (pictured above right) agrees with our assessment.

Parental Advice and Thoughts on Napping

Some English fellow over at Slate has a few suggestions for all of you parents of young uns: http://www.slate.com/id/2216568. It's often hard being a parent, knowing the right thing to do for your child or children. I fell into the category of being extremely conscientious, though I tried to use good sense as a fallback position whenever possible. Looking back now, I think it would have been much better to have played more golf, fished a lot, gone to bars with friends and generally to have behaved more like guys of my old man's generation. You want the best for your kids but what's really best is that they grow up as independently as possible and with their own sense of identity and worth. No, I don't mean not paying attention to them and leaving them alone. I mean that both you and they will be happier if they see the old man happy after doing his own thing. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking with it. Oh, also, taking naps is good. If you have someone like this young lady to help you in the process, all the better.

More Facebook

If you're not on, see what you're missing: http://www.theatlantic.com/a/facebookhumor.mhtml.

Drudging

The New Republic is attempting to get the goods on Drudge: http://www.tnr.com/story_print.html?id=33037aaf-848f-4b79-8a75-34d6c793457e. Really, not all that much here that's not already known or suspected. He's reclusive and possibly not into women--there are worse things.

Baseball stuff

Here's my take on the upcoming Dodgers v. Astros series beginning tonight at beautiful Minute Maid Park: http://www.spikesnstars.com/2009/04/21/hot-dodgers-the-return-of-the-brad/. Some of it may make sense to you soccer types and gun nuts.

More Krauthammer

On Obama’s performance at the Summit of the Americas:

The Obama people, after he criticizes America in Europe, and after he stands utterly silent when America's excoriated at this meeting in Trinidad, say he is planting the seeds for a new relationship.

Well, I'm watching for the flowers to bloom and the garden to grow. To me, it looks like a Chauncey Gardener doctrine, that everything will happen in the future. Let's see. I'm not that sure.

The most telling moment, however, was when Daniel Ortega, the president of Nicaragua, delivered a 53-minute excoriating attack on the United States. And Obama's response was "I'm grateful that President Ortega did not blame me for the things that occurred when I was three months old."

Does the narcissism of this man know no bounds? This is not about him. It is about his country. This is something that occurred under John Kennedy — the Bay of Pigs is what he is referring to. And what he is saying is that it's OK that he attacked John Kennedy, as long as it wasn't me.

Doesn't it occur to him that he ought to defend his country even if stuff happened before him? It doesn't all start with him.

And with all of these attacks on the U.S., he said almost nothing except I don't want to engage in stale arguments. It's not a stale argument to say in one simple sentence that American policy in Cuba since Eisenhower and Kennedy has been to try to rid these people of a communist dictatorship that imposed itself by force 50 years ago.

That's all he had to say, but he couldn't, and he didn't.
.

Fustercluck

Better writers than I have bemoaned the eroding driving skills of most of America's road warriors. Check that. "Eroding" might lead one to believe that most of today's drivers had at some point in time some measureable level of ability, a starting point if you will. Not a chance. Let's just go with "poor" instead. While we're at it, I guess I should rethink "skills" as well, for obvious reasons. How about "abilities"?

Aw hell, let's call it like it is - any bumbling idiot with an id card (doesn't necessarily have to be legit) can get a driver's license in the U.S. I'm pretty damn sure they don't go to the trouble to test people anymore, or even bother with drivers' ed. Why am I sure? Because there doesn't seem to be a single solitary commuter out there who has the slightest fucking clue what to do when they come to a 4-way stop, much less a major intersection with traffic lights that are on the blink (literally).

Happend to me at lunch today. Was on a large street - 7 lanes if you include the turn lane - and couldn't quite understand why traffic was at a standstill. Finally saw flashing red traffic lights at the intersection, way off in the distance, and realized my dreams of a relaxing lunch were shot. I knew this because I've been stuck "here" before, and could visualize the madness up ahead. First of all, I'd bet my left nut that fewer than 3 drivers in the mass of cars surrounding me knew that in the case of an intersection having 4 flashing red lights, the steps for determining right of way are the same as those governing a 4-way stop. Well, from what I saw today, the latest 4-way stop protocol has nothing to do with orderly rotation. No. It involves sticking the nose of your vehicle out into the intersection until everybody stops, then flooring it, quickly, never looking anywhere other than straight ahead. Another strategy includes drafting off the guy in front of you, i.e. when it's his turn (or more appropriately "when he takes a turn") it's your turn. Hell, I saw as many as four drafters in a row today. And if "Mr. Important and in a hurry" to you left jumps the gun, you'd better join him or risk losing your slot for at least 2 more rotations. Besides, he's got your back (well, side anyway). What do you got to lose?

It's basically 4-way chicken. Righteous good fun.

Today's Obit

The author of "Empire of the Sun" is dead: http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/books/04/20/ballard.obit/index.html?iref=werecommend. I never read Ballard's largely autobiographical book of his life as a youth in a Japanese POW camp, or anything else he wrote but Martin Amis said that Ballard challenged readers to think with "another part of their brain" or something along those lines. Ballard also confessed that the "micro climate" created by Johnnie Walker allowed him to engage his creative genius (yes, he was an Amis man, through and through). Maybe I'll get around to reading him. I have seen Spielberg's movie treatment several times, largely for his portrait of Hong Kong just before and just after the fall to the Japanese. Of course, also later in the film for the footage of the P-51s tear-assing through the POW camp as the allies are closing in. Christian Bale plays the young Ballard in what has always been to me in a thoroughly annoying performance--precociousness unbound. If Ballard really did behave like that, I'm shocked the Japanese didn't bayonet the little shit outright--Bale is entirely grating in the role. Now, I think the guy is one of the more interesting actors out there and usually enjoy watching him.

Unlike Ballard's internment as a child, James Clavell was a British POW of the Japanese and later spent his career writing some great, great novels inspired by knowledge acquired while he was a guest of the Empire. All are ripping, but "Shogun" stands out as one of the greatest of all page turners.

A Satisfying Read

Surprisingly from the NY Times:

Turning Tables, U.S. Troops Ambush Taliban With Swift and Lethal Results


http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/17/world/asia/17afghan.html?em


A couple of excerpts:

Five Taliban fighters bolted to the soldiers’ left, unwittingly running squarely into the path of machine-gun bullets and the Claymore mines. For a moment, the soldiers heard rustling in the brush. They detonated their Claymores and threw hand grenades. The rustling stopped.
Two other Taliban fighters had dashed to the right, toward an almost sheer drop. One ran so wildly in the blackness that his momentum carried him off the cliff, several soldiers said.


Sergeant Reese gave his rifle to another sniper to cover him while he tried to cut away a Taliban fighter’s ammunition pouches with a four-inch blade. The fighter had only been pretending to be dead, the soldiers said. He lunged for Sergeant Reese, who stabbed him in the left eye.
.

Have a nice weekend, sailors

Here's a reminder of what you're fighting for.

More Gun Stuff from Shellback

From yesterday's WSJ:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123984046627223159.html

Fear and Greed Have Sales of Guns and Ammo Shooting Up

Buyers Foresee Anti-Weapon Legislation; Collectors Hope to Get Bang for Their Bucks

FAYETTEVILLE, Ga. -- The way Jay Chambers sees it, the semiautomatic weapons in his firearm collection might be the most promising investment in his financial portfolio.

Like many gun enthusiasts, Mr. Chambers, a manager for a door wholesaler here, believes President Barack Obama and the Democrats in Congress soon will reimpose a version of an expired federal ban on the sale of so-called assault weapons. If such a law passes, he figures his collection -- enough guns, ammo magazines and weapon parts to assemble about 30 AK-47s, AR-15s and other semiautomatic rifles -- could triple in value.

"A guy could easily make a lot of money," says Mr. Chambers, 47 years old, while at Autrey's Armory, a gun store about 20 miles south of Atlanta.

Purchases of guns and ammunition are surging across the country. Nearly four million background checks -- a key measure of sales because they are required at the purchase of a gun from a federally licensed seller -- were performed in the first three months of 2009. That is a 27% increase over the same period a year earlier, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

But it's also clear that part of the gun-buying rally is driven by people like Mr. Chambers who are buying weapons the way others invest in a hot stock. The buying is pumping up prices. Many popular models of guns are back-ordered for a year or more. Some manufacturers are operating plants 24 hours a day. According to the 2009 edition of the Blue Book of Gun Values, the average price of European-made AK-47s -- the famous Soviet-era military weapon now made in several countries -- doubled from $350 last September to more than $700 by the end of 2008.....

See the link for the rest.

More Film News

Get how I said, "film" not "movies." See, that's the sign of a guy gone soft. Living around all these leftist, trend sucking dilettantes will do that to you so let me serve as a cautionary tale for you. Meanwhile, here's TCM's list of the fifteen "Most Influential Classic Movies"http://www.tcm.com/dailies.jsp?cid=237829. I haven't seen a lot of these and don't really care to--many of them are noted for their inspiration to subsequent greater film efforts, but it's still interesting reading. I have always wanted to see, "Potemkin" and "Bicycle Thief," though, so they're on my list for this summer's Paramount film series. Come and join me along with all of the other socialists.

TCM left out, "Animal House." No list is perfect.

Some new grit

Looks like the Coen brothers are going to do a remake of "True Grit"http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/the-coen-brothers--kings-of-the-wild-frontier-1669783.html. Westerns, especially good westerns are such a rare thing that I get hopeful at a mention of something like this. Grit won Wayne his only Oscar, though he deserved many more over his long career, notably for his work in "The Searchers" and other great films. Actors up for the role of Rooster Cogburn in the remake possibly include Tommy Lee Jones and Val Kilmer, among others. I think that Jones is probably ten years too old for the role and would perhaps hijack the movie which, as the article points out, is really a vehicle to be shown through the eyes of the young Mattie (played by the hideous Kim Darby in the original). Too bad they won't have a young Robert Duvall around to play the killer--it's just a shame he didn't get more gigs during his prime years as it's hard to find something that he did that wasn't flat out great.

Whatever you say, boss

Let me start by saying that I'm not a smoker. Except for the occasional stogie - which I always enjoy immensely - the fireplace, the grill, and more birthday candles than I care to admit to are about the only things I ever fire up. I can't even say as I've ever even tried a cigarette. With that in mind, one might suppose that I'm a big proponent of "no-smoking" ordinances. Think again.

Within the last week a ban on smoking in bars a pool halls went into effect in my little patch of Texas heaven. Bars and pool halls? True enough, some of the things (okay, women) I see at such places make me feel young again, but I can't say honestly say that I ever visited either for my health. Quite the opposite, I guess. Also can't remember a bar or pool hall forcing me to walk through the front door, nor one making me stay if I didn't want to. And correct me if I wrong, but aren't such businesses meant for adults?

Well, anyway, last night was the first chance I've had to experience my favorite smoky joint - sans smoke. Must admit it was mighty nice to breath deeply while tasting the latest exotic IPA to hit the taps, and to actually be able to read the latest score in the Rangers game when I checked the tv behind the bar. No all-engulfing haze. No invasive odor. No pillow/bed/closet smelling like an ashtray this a.m. (big points with the missus for that one).

To say I enjoyed the change would be an understatement. But saying such and signing off on big bro's latest intrusion into my life are two different things. Had management of the establishment in question made the choice to go smokeless, I would have been the first to give a thumbs up. Other regulars might not be as happy about it as I, and might choose to go elsewhere. But that's okay - they would still have a choice. As they did before. As I did before.

Such intrusions on our personal freedoms are becoming commonplace, and general complacency means those self-appointed guardian angels will soon be knocking on your door. Looking forward to grilling some steaks this weekend? Sorry, you've already had your quota of animal flesh this week, and your last check-up showed your cholesterol to be a tad high. Besides, your neighbors might be vegans, and if they happened to be outside the aroma wafting from your grill would offend them greatly. They don't drink either, so you had better take that beer inside. Oh, and you can forget about butter or sour cream on that baked potato - too many trans-fats. Beans? Come on now, you know you've about maxed out your carbon footprint this month, and you know the amount of GHGs those things can produce...

As the little girl once said, "They're heeee're...". And they ain't going away.

Bagged

Nice smack from Gutfeld--note the David Gergen "thumb" reference: http://dailygut.com/. In other news, Mrs. Taras had that E show, "Chelsea Lately" on last night as I was nodding off. I think I heard that Out Magazine has come out with their top 100 homosexuals which apparently includes 3 or 4 individuals not previously "outed," including CNN darling, Anderson Cooper. Cooper, as noted by Gutfeld, has been having fun with the "tea bagging" term at the expense of the government spending protesters. I guess it's now safe to say that Anderson is probably real familiar with the concept.

I also read a Newsweek piece yesterday by Paul Begala proclaiming April 15th as "Patriots Day" in America and scolding anyone who is not patriotically happy to pay taxes as insulting to military heroes. I think it's fair to say that scoundrels on both sides of the political aisle are guilty of wrapping themselves in the flag to suit their own agendas but Begala continues to amaze with his razor sharp sleaziness. Watching him carry water for Clinton's hi jinks for all of those years was pretty sickening and I had sort of hoped that he would eventually go away but he lives on to sling shit across the fruited plains with glee. On a personal note as a long time customer of the IRS who has never once failed to pay a pretty damn hefty amount of what I earn to the government without complaint, I would like to offer a hearty "Fuck You" to Begala from the bottom of my heart and you can stick your phony bullshit and redistribution of income schemes straight up your ass. Oh, and Paul--I knew a bunch of those guys who fought in World War II that you mention and ZERO of them did it for the likes of you and your ideas of a socialist paradise. In fact, they would have all kicked your sorry white ass, given the opportunity. I'll stop there and go take my medication.

Got an itch?

Well, then scratch it: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article6046414.ece. Glad they did a study to arrive at this finding. I've always thought Lyndon Johnson's line to Lady Bird early in their marriage (reported by Robert Caro in his masterful bio) sort of captured what most of us ignorant crackers thought about the subject: "I ain't like one of them fraternity boys in Austin--when I got an itch, I scratch it." Of course, Lyndon was referring to his legendary nocturnal desires when he said this, but you get the drift. I've heard a lot of first hand Johnson stories over the years. Once, I was in a restored office building near the Johnson City town square and was told by the occupant that during Johnson's administration it was used as apartments for his secret service detail (the LBJ ranch in Stonewall was just down the road). Years later, I actually met one of his secret service guys and recounted the apartment story to him. He sort of chuckled and told me that it was true that the space was a kind of an apartment, but it had a different use--wink, wink, you get my drift, he said. I guess Lyndon needed a little respite from mending fences and tearing up Cadillacs on his ranch roads while also trying to understand just what the hell Hubert Humphrey was talking about. I've got others, but we'll leave 'em for a future digression. Oh, by the way, Blue Star Ointment is good for red bugs and such. Better though to stay out of the weeds in the first place, you heathens.

NYT Editorial Page

The Times editorial page can always be counted upon to comment and offer detailed instructions to it's readers on even the most trivial issues so I was awaiting their lofty thoughts on the rescue of Captain Phillips by military force. Not a single word, either yesterday or today.

Instead, more of their usual drivel:

The A.B.A. and Judicial Nominees

President Obama has decided to restore the American Bar Association’s traditional role in vetting judicial nominees. There is a real value in having knowledgeable lawyers who have firsthand experience with the justice system vetting prospective judges.

As the A.B.A. resumes this role, a new study suggests that it may have a liberal bias. There is little support for this claim.

Indeed, there are signs that the group has been cowed by conservative critics in recent years into approving less-than-qualified nominees. The A.B.A. needs to ensure that its evaluators make assessments based on the nominees’ merits, not on political pressure......

....Based on the last eight years, it is especially hard to argue that the A.B.A. has been a liberal force on judicial selection. The group regularly gave “well qualified” and “qualified” ratings to some of President George W. Bush’s most deeply flawed nominees.

The A.B.A. gave its highest rating to Leslie Southwick, a nominee to the New Orleans-based United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. As a state court judge in Mississippi, Judge Southwick signed on to terrible rulings, including one in favor of a white social worker who was fired for calling a black colleague a “good ole nigger”... [To the hell with the law - you can't rule in favor of some who calls a black co-worker a "good ole nigger".]

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/14/opinion/14tue2.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

Headache

Navy SEALs' Simultaneous Headshots

on Somali Pirates Were Procedure

Expert: Without Headshots, Captain Phillips 'Definitely Would Have Been Killed'

By LEE FERRAN

April 13, 2009 —

At least one former SEAL was not surprised that each of the three Somali pirates was killed with just one shot, despite the fact that they were on a rolling sea and the Navy snipers had to make a successful "headshot," something he said is "extremely difficult."

Their job was made easier by the pirates' willingness to allow their boat to be towed, smoothing out the sea and settling them into an even keel.

SEAL sharpshooters are trained to hit targets "under a minute," meaning able to hit within an inch of a target from 100 yards, former Navy SEAL Harry Humphries told ABCNews.com.
For the snipers who killed the three Somali pirates, it had to be a "head shot," Humphries said, because one of the pirates was holding an AK-47 pointed at the back of American freighter captain Richard Phllips.

"There's only one way to be assured no involuntary trigger squeeze, and that is a head shot," Humphries said. "If you hit the central nervous system, the probability [of an involuntary trigger squeeze] is greatly reduced."

"The shot's extremely difficult to make depending on equipment that shooters have," he said. "If the sea was flat, the shot would be relatively simple."

During the five day standoff, the Navy worked to get close to the pirates, but as their patience wore thin, the seas became rougher. The waves turned the lifeboat into a moving target, and the rear of the U.S.S. Bainbridge where the snipers were deployed was also heaving with the waves....

http://abcnews.go.com/International/Story?id=7325633&page=2

More Dutton (Revised)

This time about fire walking and other things while in New Guinea: http://www.denisdutton.com/firewalking.htm. I have fire walked before, but while wearing footwear and doing it completely unintentionally while under the medicinal effects of adult beverages. It will sort of wake you up if you haven't tried it before. Other silly things I have done include:

Attempting to replace an outdoor faucet (discussed here, previously)

Climbing onto the saddle on a world champion barrel racing horse precisely where the starting mark was for the barrel racing track. I somehow lived.

Biting off and chewing an entire jalapeno once to impress a girl. She got to see me cry, so I guess that worked out okay.

Hitting a 3 iron (also probably discussed here)

Hitting a sand wedge off of hard pan (done about four times on Friday, with spectacularly hideous results each time)

Attempting to place decorative Easter arrangements on the outdoor tables for the big gathering at our house yesterday. Failed miserably and was hounded out of the area by Mrs. Taras.

More to come...

Inviting three women I was interested in (one of them became Mrs. Taras) along with the female I was currently dating to the same Halloween party that I threw. A harrowing experience. For some reason, each one thought that I had invited her as my principal interest for the evening and I spent almost the entire night behaving like a crazed idiot, alternately babbling and running RUNNING for cover. Don't ever do that.

The infamous "Hell Goat/666" incident known to my friends and one which can not be fully described here for purposes of, well, it just can't. I'll just say it involved a recently deceased angora goat (whose death was caused by one of its horns growing into its eye) being hoisted by a rope and tied to the shower nozzle of a girls dormitory in a Baptist sponsored retreat with the numerals "666" scrawled on the wall above it. Yes, I'm going to hell and let's just keep it at that.

Running for and being elected to the school board of the parochial school my children attended. Mark Twain was correct.

Owning a leisure suit. Mine was turquoise colored and I wore it to the spring sports banquet during my junior year in high school. White belt and shoes, too. The horror....the horror....

Smoke Free Carmen

Uh, this photo is of another "Carmen," but thought you might appreciate. Drink some free trade coffee or something: http://denisdutton.com/smoke.htm.

Medal of Honor

Pretty good story, particularly about how he escaped the Germans after being captured:

Russell Dunham, Hero in 1945, Dies at 89

Russell Dunham, who as an Army sergeant in World War II received the Medal of Honor for charging up a snowy hill in the Alsace region of France and single-handedly killing, wounding or capturing 18 German soldiers, died Monday in Godfrey, Ill. He was 89.

On the afternoon of Jan. 8, 1945, Sergeant Dunham was leading a platoon in the 30th Infantry, Third Infantry Division, when the soldiers, among them his brother Ralph, were pinned down by German fire. They were at the bottom of a hill near the village of Kaysersberg, the birthplace of the Nobel Peace Prize winner Dr. Albert Schweitzer.

German machine-gunners and riflemen fired down on the Americans while an artillery barrage landed behind them. “The only way to go was up,” Mr. Dunham told Reader’s Digest long afterward.

Wearing as camouflage a white robe made from a mattress cover, Sergeant Dunham ran up the hill ahead of his platoon and charged a machine-gun emplacement. He was shot in the back, and his camouflage became useless: his white clothing was soaked with blood.

Despite “excruciating pain” from his wound, as the Medal of Honor citation told it, Sergeant Dunham wiped out three machine-gun nests and attacked German riflemen in foxholes. Moments later, Ralph Dunham destroyed a fourth machine-gun position.

Firing 175 rounds of carbine fire and throwing 11 grenades, Russell Dunham killed nine Germans, wounded seven and captured two others.

Two weeks later, his battalion was surrounded by German tanks at the French town of Holtzwihr. Most of the men were forced to surrender, but as Mr. Dunham told it to Peter Collier in his book “Medal of Honor,” he hid in a sauerkraut barrel outside a barn.

He was discovered by two German soldiers the next morning, but while searching him they found a pack of cigarettes in his pocket and began to fight over it. They never noticed a pistol in a shoulder holster under Sergeant Dunham’s arm.

While the Germans were taking him toward their lines, one of them stopped at a bar. Sergeant Dunham shot and killed the other soldier. He escaped on foot, was spotted a couple of days later by United States Army engineers building a bridge, and was treated for severely frozen feet.

He was awarded the Medal of Honor at a ceremony in Nuremberg, Germany, in April 1945.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/10/us/10dunham.html?ref=obituaries

Good Friday

Eat fish. But first, read this: http://www.slate.com/id/2214800. Not a bad primer. Bart Ehrman's account of what went into Jesus' crucifixion and the story afterward is very good and gives you a great feel for the dynamics of Roman controlled Jerusalem at that time. To boil it down: Pilate didn't want any shit getting out of hand, so he was pretty quick on the draw when Jesus became a problem. Nothing personal--you just needed to watch your ass around the Romans--they didn't go in for a lot of foolishness. That was the thing about them: they didn't really care who or what you worshipped or what you did as long as you didn't get out of line and cause problems. Then, at that point, they were swift in retribution. Served 'em well for a pretty good while. Jesus pushed that particular envelope during his Passover stay and it cost him. Mucho history since.

Dandy Don

Meredith turns 71 today. Hard to believe. One tough son of a bitch but he couldn't get by that Packer bunch in '66 and '67, with the hellish cold doing him in during the last one. From what I've read, he couldn't get along with Landry, either but I don't know how much of that is fact or maybe overblown. He walked away early--I think he was just tired of it all or maybe just tired of taking the licks that came his way--there wasn't much in the way of quarterback coddling in his time. Now, he hangs out in Santa Fe and doesn't go in for much in the way of public appearances or basking in the adulation. I've got to think, however, that more than just occasionally, his mind wanders back to that tight game in the Cotton Bowl and the frozen tundra up north and what could have been. Salud, Dandy Don. You were a favorite.

Craigslist

I hire part time employees who respond to an ad on Craigslist. Maybe I should rethink that: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/. I haven't read all of these but they're pretty damn funny. Kudos to the freaks over at SnS for linking to this.

Please note that the photo here has nothing to do with this post. Just thought you bitches might need a pick me up. Lurch doesn't. That asshole is off to Vegas manana to fuck with blackjack dealers and stare at store bought tits at the Mandalay pool. Asshole.

What We're Up Against

A delightful peek into Islam, from those crazy Taliban cats: http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/05/taliban-pakistan-flogging-islam-opinions-columnists-tunku-varadarajan.html. What a great bunch of guys and outstanding way of life they have going over there. Sure, they're not all Taliban, but for these creeps to dominate a region, the people there have to accept or tolerate a certain level of behavior that is barbaric by any standard (except their own). This has been touched on here before, but it's another reminder of the highly uncertain, thankless task we have before us. Of course, it would be helpful if during Obama's triumphant European tour he could have somehow convinced the Euros to send along something beyond another six pack of Schwepp's to help the effort. After all, this shit is happening in their backyard, not ours. Some things never change--we lift, they complain.

Charles Krauthammer

The man is just brilliant. National Review's "The Corner" has taken to posting some of his comments from the panel discussion segment of "Special Report with Bret Baier" (formerly with Brit Hume). Here are some of his comments from Friday's show - it looks like something carefully written out in a column rather than off the top of his head.

On Obama’s European tour:

Where does one begin? Obama says in America there is a failure to appreciate Europe's leading role in the world.

Maybe that's because when there was a civil war in Europe's doorstep in the Balkans and genocide it didn't lift a finger until America led.

Maybe it's because there was an invasion in Kuwait it didn't lift a finger until America led.

Maybe it's because with America spending over half a trillion a year keeping open the sea lanes and defending the world, Europe is spending pennies on defense.

It's hard to appreciate an entity's leading role in the world when it's been sucking on your tit for 60 years as Europe has with regard to the United States, parasitically….

And then he goes on and calls America arrogant, dismissive, and derisive regarding Europe. "The London Telegraph," a correspondent in Strasbourg, said this was the most critical remarks he had ever seen a president give on foreign soil, and I think he's right.

When Kennedy arrived in Paris, he did not attack Eisenhower and the United States. When Obama's elected president, he is president of all of the United States, including Americans who opposed him, and he owns American history, including a past he may not have wanted to engage in.

I think what he did is, in order to gain the adoration of the crowd, he denigrated his country in a way that I think is disgraceful.

Basil

You, Shellback, mind if I borrow your taupe colored SAS Velcro strapped shoes ? Time for me to shuffle out on my “When I was a kid…” soapbox.
A couple of weeks ago I was helping Junior w/ his homework – 3rd grade public school math homework , that is. It was clear that he was struggling on a problem or two, so daddy big-brain here decided to step in and provide instruction. I looked over his shoulder for a second, silently reading the question as I watched. “Basil had not seen his father for 2 years. Basil’s old man was doing 5 to 7 on a possession with intent to sell rap. What is the least number of years it will be before Basil sees his father again? The most number of years?” Turns out, the kiddo wasn’t stumbling with the math part of it, nor was he shocked/dismayed/concerned by the subtle inference to societal inequities in the U.S. justice system. No, he was trying to figure out who/what the hell a “Basil” was and how to pronounce it.
Now, the first time I sat down and read one of my son’s first grade reading assignments to him, I realized that I was going to have to deal with the fact that our schools seem more intent on teaching our kids that drug use, single parent homes, 2-daddy/2-mommy homes, violence, divorce, etc. were cultural norms than they were on teaching them that 2+2=4. I decided that as long as the school taught him the basics of math, science, etc., we would deal with the rest at home.
A couple of years later up pops “Basil”. Well, back in our day (here we go) the people in word problems had names like “Dick”, “Jane”, “Sally”, “Spot” (the dogs did, anyway), etc. The authors of such text books made the names simple for one reason: the names wouldn’t interfere with/confuse the lesson being taught. The names were always “Dick”, “Jane”, “Sally”, or “Spot”. After reading the “Basil’s Incarcerated Dad” problem, I scanned the rest of the practice questions. The list of names used throughout the assignment was endless and varied, including Kentrall, Rashad, Jamal, Alexei, Stanford, Benito, Yolanda, and Tomás. Hey, wonderful names, all of them. Problem is, they make it much more difficult for the students to concentrate on the MATHMATICS part of the question. I mean, my son’s best buddy at school is named Marquaris, but I’ll bet you a c-note that junior doesn’t know how to spell his friend’s name, nor would he recognize it if I wrote it on a sheet of paper.
Checked in on my son’s homework again last night. The boy seemed to breeze right through the questions, even though the kids in a problem trying to figure out how many dime bags were in a kilo were named Marcelo, Marissa, and Francine. I asked him about it, and he said the teacher told them that any time they ran into a name that they couldn’t pronounce, just substitute one that they could. In other words, he used “Mark”, Mary”, and “Frank” because they were easy for him, and didn’t distract from the real question.

Best lesson he’s gotten all year.

New Orleans Beer

Just for you nimdok - from the NY Times no less.

March 27, 2009

New Orleans Gets Its Brews Back

By NICK KAYE


I ROLLED into New Orleans on a cool afternoon, putting the windows of my car down to let a twangy version of the standard “James Alley Blues” out and up into the clear, cornflower sky.
“Times ain’t now nothing like they used to be,” went the song on the radio, and I thought to myself, “You can say that again.”

The difficult recent history of the Crescent City hangs like a specter over gutted houses and weedy, desolate lots. But despite the tough times, the spirit of New Orleans is as wily as ever. Arriving there still feels like showing up at a party in full swing.

Visitors come for a number of things that the city does like nowhere else: the music, the food, the architecture. I, however, was in town with just one thing in mind — beer.

The history of brewing in New Orleans is as cloudy as an unfiltered ale, little known outside its confines. Once a regional beer capital, it turned out a slew of popular brands like Falstaff, Jax, Regal and Dixie...


http://travel.nytimes.com/2009/03/27/travel/escapes/27beer.html?sq=new%20orleans%20beer&st=cse&scp=2&pagewanted=print

Opening Day

Monday is opening day for the 2009 big league season and I'll be one of the asses in the seats for the 6:05pm first pitch. Nothing from me about baseball being a metaphor for life or any of that other melodramatic horseshit--I'm going to watch a little ball, drink some brews, eat a lot of ballpark food, and generally grabass around. That's kind of what I like about baseball games--the pace of things allows idle and sometimes serious conversation and if something breaks out on the field, all the better. Going over early for a long tailgate--opening day has turned into a big deal these days. In lieu of a big time college football game, not a bad way to spend the afternoon. Full report to follow.

Why?

In "The River," why does Springsteen get a "wedding coat" on his nineteenth birthday but there's "no wedding dress" for Mary? What kind of fucked up shit is that? Some kind of New Jersey turnpike boardwalk crap? I don't understand. What the fuck is a wedding coat anyway? Does it have special pockets sewn in for rubbers and bottle openers or something? I didn't get a wedding coat. Matter of fact, I didn't get shit other than the plates and stuff that we received that go in these special containers that Mrs. Taras takes out whenever we're supposed to eat something that doesn't involve tortillas or cornbread. Happens every five years or so.

Why can't the United States Army design a decent looking dress uniform? They ditched the brown dress uniform of World War II days, especially the snappy Eisenhower jacket for the ugly ass green thing they've used since. Berets? Well, okay, but if you're going to copy the Euros, note the sharp shape of what the Brits wear compared to the clumsy contraption adopted by all army units. Note: the Marines have used pretty much the same kit for about a hundred years. It works pretty good--classic never goes out of style.

Why can't the auto makers install radios in their vehicles that have DIALS? What is so backward about the concept of a dial? And, I'm not picking on the Big 3 of Detroit either--my rice burner has a screwed up radio, too.

Why does any home improvement project involve at least three and more like five or six trips to Loew's or wherever to get the right parts? Is this simply because I'm an idiot or is it a cynical marketing ploy for increased purchases? Bastards.

Why can't Asian people drive? Oh, before you call me out as a knuckle dragger, look in the mirror and ask yourself if you've ever once witnessed a competent Asian driver. Pop that zit while you're at it.

Okay, why also are white guys driving big trucks mostly dickheads? Like that? Well, the ones that are contractors, anyway. They like to park with their ass end sticking out in the street like it's their right to screw up traffic because they're a CONTRACTOR. Then, they have this problem of having to slow down to thirty miles UNDER the speed limit whenever engaged in a cell phone conversation. Then, why also do the assholes refuse to return calls, lie about completion dates, and generally behave like jerks? I guess it's a job requirement.

And, why are so many spring days in Texas so perfect, so delicious, and so fleeting before the heat comes down? Maybe that's God's way of saying I'm going to throw you a bone before pounding your sorry ass all summer. Enjoy your weekend and fix a toilet or something. Buy a goddamn wedding coat while you're at it.

Know Your History

Bet you didn't know any of this: http://www.cracked.com/article_17205_6-historical-villains-who-were-actually-ok-guys.html.

Women

The BBC says they go ape shit and like to shop like demons prior to their periods: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7971578.stm. Anything you could tell me regarding women and how they behave or are affected by their menstrual cycles I'd be willing to believe. Having lived with and around women my whole life you'd think I would know something about them by now but I haven't a clue. Really, I don't. I used to could tell pretty well when one was ready in terms of going in for the kill at some frat party or whatever but that skill left long ago--I just follow orders from most of the women I come in contact with now. Seriously, the best thing for me is recognizing that women have a lot more moving parts and I tend to just chalk up bizarre or irrational behavior to some temporary random neuron firing that went the wrong way. Unless, of course, they're pointing a gun at me. It's worlds simpler with men and boys--not real complicated as far as what their motivations are. That's why it's hard sometimes when women complain about men--hell, ladies--you know what they like and what works in making them (and ultimately, you) happy. And, yes, it does involve close quarters combat with you. And, steaks. And, maybe a Remington 700 and a weekend pass to the ranch, or just the golf course. After that, we're putty in your hands. Happy shopping.