Tiger Bait, Cher

Dey got dat Tiger smack going on at dat EDSBS: http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/.

Hey, where you at, Shellback?

More Good Times...

Looks like there's some leathery fun in store for those attending the Obama inaugural weekend: http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=6513999&page=1.

All hail the audacity of hope (and tasteful bondage gear).

More on New Year's Eve...

Favorite memories? Most I'm not at liberty to divulge (you would all have to die if I told you). Some, I'm sure I've forgotten but you'll remind me of. I do vaguely recall, however, one very cold 12/31 spent on Greenville Avenue in Dallas. In the wee morning hours when all of the drunks were attempting to navigate north toward Sperm City or other mega-single oriented apartment complexes, the iced over incline began to wreak hellacious havoc upon the fleet of Monte Carlos and Cutlasses carrying their inebriated and crotch groping passengers. Mass carnage, frostbite through the Member's Only jackets, and projectile vomiting into the gathering slush. Good Times!

I think I was driving a Toyota Corolla hatchback at the time. It had black vinyl seats, was underpowered (please, no sexual innuendo jokes), and the a/c didn't work. Which meant, of course, great fun while sitting on Central Expressway for a couple of hours each day during that 63 day run of 105 plus degree days in Dallas during the summer of '80.

Thugs

Nice piece about a film depicting the putrid depravity of the Baader Meinhoff Gang, and also the similar nature of other darlings of the left, the Weathermen and Black Panthers: http://www.tnr.com/booksarts/story.html?id=808134de-7d2f-462d-a3a1-815ab827fb2a.

It would be nice--real nice if Hollywood would confront the outrages perpetrated by these oft celebrated goons. Probably too much to expect while there's BusHitler to kick around.

Date Night

Looking for something to do for New Year's Eve or just a quiet night at the house? Better yet, something to do with another couple? Dial up "Anatomy of a Murder" on Time Warner's 1002 "free movie" channel for some ripping good fun. Jimmy Stewart is in full glory as small town attorney, Paul Biegler defending hot headed Lt. Frederick Marrow, played by the hot headed Ben Gazzara, on charges of murdering the guy who allegedly raped his smoking hot wife, played by the smoking hot Lee Remick. The film has it all--great drama, humor, sexual tension (it was shot in 1959 and I can only imagine the swooning that went on with the highly suggestive subject matter). And, as of the last day of 2008, the movie is still one that will guarantee some Grade A snuggling, or eventual heavy petting, with the missus or significant other. Great stuff. Also along for the ride are some sterling character roles by Arthur O'Connell, Eve Arden, and Murray Hamilton (remember the mayor in "Jaws?"). Also notable is George C. Scott showing the world in one of his first film roles of what was to come--he kicks ass. The role of the judge was offered first to Spencer Tracy and then Burl Ives who both turned it down. Finally, Otto Preminger offered it to real life attorney and judge, Paul Welch who just flat out shines. Remember Welch? He's the same Welch who told Sen. McCarthy "Have you no sense of decency" during the senate pinko commie hearings in the '50s. A sterling film. If you don't get lucky after viewing it, the Otto Preminger Estate will refund the cost of admission. Or, give you a firm handshake. Or, something.

Happy New Year to Everybody!

Just be careful what you say/do while bringing it in, okay?

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39308

Plain Speaking on Africa

Matthew Parris, a confirmed atheist, provides rational insight into what is needed for a healthy Africa and it ain't the DailyKos crowd: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/article5400568.ece.

Interesting and entirely logical. Nice when someone thinks outside of the box they normally inhabit.

The Iceman Be Comin'

All bow to the glory that is EDSBS: http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/.

Shellback, how 'bout a nice ride over to Shreve-poat?

Omsk, We Have a Problem

Our man, Gutfeld alerts us to the latest failure in Soviet, uh, Russian ballistic missile development: http://dailygut.com/. I have frankly missed having the Soviets around, with their outstanding propaganda and vodka induced industrial catastrophes. Capitalism in that frozen hellhole has only brought us Putin doing karate tricks and rich Russians evicting Hollywood types from Vail and Aspen, along with a wave of whores bringing undeserved comfort to Japanese businessmen and bond traders the world over. If you're like me, you long for the days of Soviet space and military disasters--returning capsules stranded in the Siberian wilderness with oxygen deprived cosmonauts fending off circling wolves or the entire Black Sea arsenal going up in a magnificent blast, courtesy of an Ivan lighting up a hideous Soviet cigarette next to a magazine of leftover T-34 ammunition. Not made up, by the way.

Weekend at the Movies

Took in a couple of the current Oscar-buzz flicks this weekend--"Doubt" and "Frost/Nixon." In "Doubt," Philip Seymour Hoffman turns in his standard well crafted performance as Father Flynn, the priest that secular libs have in mind when the occasional fleeting good thoughts of Catholicism or Christianity come to mind. He's intelligent, thoughtful, has progressive ideas, and acts compassionately toward those deemed deserving of compassion by the social justice crowd. I'm being a bit of a smartass here, but not by much. His antagonist, Sister Aloysius (an impossible Catholic name), is played by Meryl Streep who will win the Oscar for the role unless she is exposed prior to the vote as a closet Republican with a fondness for stir fried puppies. I won't bore you with the plot, etc.--you can read that anywhere--but essentially, Father Flynn is accused of inappropriate behavior with a young black boy and is ultimately forced to leave the parish via the hectoring of the determined Sister Aloysius. The point that the playwright/screenwriter/director/blue state voter wishes to make, however, is the tyranny of someone convinced that they are right without the proof or evidence to substantiate the claim--read Bush, George W. and Iraq. I say, bullshit but libs on a roll will believe what they want to believe without the evidence to support it--did I just say that? Anyway, despite the filtering (if you're not a true believer--in the political sense, you do a lot of that when reading or watching the news, or movies) I liked the film, the performances, and enjoyed the foray into the look and feel of a northeastern Catholic parish from that time period. The movie doesn't drag, either. Worth the time.

"Frost/Nixon" is the telling of the conception and filming of the famous David Frost interviews of Nixon in 1977. Frank Langella is damn fascinating in his portrayal--he nails the mannerisms and speech patterns of Nixon and assumes an uncanny dead-on body posture. That alone makes the movie effective. Michael Sheen plays Frost as a sweet guy with a winning personality who when he has to, turns into a bulldog to nail that mean ol' Nixon guy that did mean things and made people cry and had bombs and things that hurt people and was mean and didn't like flowers and can't we all just get along? Also cast is Sam Rockwell who plays humorless liberal scold, James Reston, Jr. like the humorless liberal scold that James Reston is. Ron Howard, who discovered somewhere along the way that he doesn't like Republicans and has a small penis, directs. The movie drags a little. I sensed from the uber-leftist crowd in the theater that the film doesn't deliver the goods the way they would like--Nixon isn't forced to grovel and be pilloried in the Berkeley (sp? ah, who gives a shit) public square, and whatever the left thinks of him, Tricky Dick wasn't a lightweight when it came to intellect or achievement: both were considerable.

Also, took in "Tropical Thunder" on pay per view. Funny as hell in parts and no one is left un-offended. Tom Cruise turns in the best performance of his career and he's not even billed.

Interesting article on a new breed of bars and bartenders in San Francisco. The writer seems to know his drinks, including the Sazerac of New Orleans.

http://travel.nytimes.com/2008/12/28/travel/28journeys.html

Liberal Cheapskates

Gosh! Really?

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/viewpoints/stories/DN-kristof_1224edi.State.Edition1.22cc977.html

Merry Christmas

Just a quick wish of Merry Christmas to everyone. May your stocking be filled with your every wish and may your children's eyes remind you of the absolute joy of living.

Oh, and here's hoping that mama helps out with that "Missus Claus" fantasy you always had...

children

Anybody who has ever been in/through Dallas knows who Dale Hansen is. Love him or hate him-and there is no middle ground-his comments following the song/picture montage that he plays here is very moving, and make this "must-see", even if you don't have a clue who he is. http://www.wfaa.com/video/?nvid=315421&shu=1

Click on the following link: http://blog.dallasstars.com/ and scroll down to "Character Personified".

There really is something besides low television ratings, legal fighting, 6-hour playoff games and a really good dental plan that differentiates the NHL from the other professional sports leagues.

A Nice Honor

The award for writing badly about sex is out: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/nov/25/bad-sex-johnson-updike-fiction.

Regrettably, not one mention, though of "his turgid warhead thrust deep into her missile silo of love." I've always thought that quite romantic. Sort of like the title to one of Ted Nugent's old songs: "My Love is Like a Tire Iron."

The Wrestler

Simmons has a story on the new indie film, "The Wrestler," starring Mickey Rourke: http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3773747. I really want to see it.

Some day I'll put something together regarding the two or three years I accompanied my grandmother to the weekly wrestling matches at the old Sam Houston Coliseum. The first time I went, my dad sat me down beforehand and said, "Son, these things are fake but your grandmother thinks they're real. Make sure she doesn't get out of hand." That was heady stuff for a ten year old, to know that you were being called upon to look after an adult. Great entertainment, those matches of yesteryear. Not so obviously fake as they are now nor as vulgar, if you can believe that. My favorite was Fritz Von Erich of the "iron claw" fame. I used to practice the iron claw on my cousins and even my dog, Sparky. For some reason, I didn't achieve the same results that Fritz enjoyed.

Friday Night Lights

No one questions the fundamental fundamentalism of Texas high school football. It's big, big time. If you doubt that, attend a Southlake Carroll or Westlake game sometime and behold the spectacle. EDSBS linked to something today that given even what you think you know, will blow your mind: http://www.ltcavalierfootball.com/id6.html.

For the uninitiated, Lake Travis will be playing for all the marbles this weekend. I saw them beat the shit out of Westlake (a 5A school) earlier this fall and they are captained by Garret Gilbert who some are calling the greatest high school quarterback they have ever seen. He's UT bound and fits in well with Mack Brown's Master Plan for World Football Domination. He'll probably redshirt this next year, assuming Colt retains use of his limbs after the OU game.

I know you have to use a bit of imagination and as Hillary Clinton would say [to Gen. Petraeus], "suspend disbelief" when watching some movies, but Tom Cruise as a Wehrmacht officer? I just can't get there with old "Maverick".

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article5358878.ece

Hump Day

There, there--this should perk you up: http://www.alternativereel.com/includes/top-ten/display_review.php?id=00066.

Discuss among yourselves.

Frog Day Afternoon

This always seems to brighten an otherwise dreary day: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

As noted, "the French are always there when they need you."

This is News?

Tiger and Steve don't like Phil and Bones http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=3770488. Filed under "No Shit?"

Tiger's caddy is a reported goon and general asshole who doesn't like Mickelson, well known for being a course management dumbass of epic proportions. Phil thinks his caddy is a "class act." I think his caddy must also be one hell of an enabler, allowing his man to pull the wrong club at the worst possible moments in one tourney after another. If I were on Phil's bag and he tried yanking the driver out on 18 with a two stroke lead, I'd knock the living shit out of him and maybe kick him square in the nutsack for good measure. "What do you think about hitting the driver now, Shirley? Here--hold this three wood while I look for your teeth."

I last played golf about a month ago in a Ryder Cup style tournament where the final nine holes were individual match play. My opponent was a dick; doing the gamesmanship stuff and being a general shitbird while running his weak smack in my direction. Fortunately, after quickly going two down to Mr. Asswipe, I pulled my head out of the rear cavity and stuck his limp dick in the dirt, finishing him off 3 and 2. Makes one happy to do justice now and then, and on a beautiful Friday afternoon, to boot. Afterward, home to cocktails on the patio, grilling, and light gymnastics with the missus. Ripping stuff.

Happy Tuesday

If you're driving around Knoxville and detect an unpleasant smell, it may be this guy, or it could be coming from a one acre sized curious piece of real estate: http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=924#more-924.

Maybe the rotting carcass of Phil Fulmer is there now.

Who would have guessed Time magazine Washington editor Jay Carney was a liberal Democrat? His wife, Claire Shipman of ABC News is fairly hot.

Outgoing newsmag bureau chief Jay Carney to be assistant to the vice president and his director of communications.

Max Planck Gets Down

Those crazy Germans: http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/chinese-classical-poem-was-brothel-ad-1058031.html. Who knew it wasn't the science, but the hot Chinese housewives?

"Bitte, baby, bitte."

Caroline Kennedy to seek Clinton's Senate seat

Don't know about you guys but Caroline Kennedy has always struck me mostly as an airhead. I don't recall any intelligent or informed comments coming out of her mouth. The press / liberals seem to swoon over her most banal pronouncements - reminds me of Chauncy Gardner / Being There.

New Yorkers would get exactly what they deserve however if she is appointed.


By MICHAEL GORMLEY, Associated Press Writer Michael Gormley, Associated Press Writer 26 mins ago

ALBANY, N.Y – Caroline Kennedy has told New York Gov. David Paterson she wants to be the state's next Senator, becoming the highest-profile person to actively lobby for the seat being vacated by Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Kennedy has told the Democratic governor she wants the job should Clinton be confirmed as secretary of state for President-elect Barack Obama, according to two people familiar with the conversations between Kennedy and Paterson.

The people spoke on the condition of anonymity Monday because neither Kennedy nor Paterson have acknowledged she is seeking the position.

If appointed by Paterson, the daughter of President John F. Kennedy would hold the seat once occupied by her late uncle, Robert F. Kennedy.

Republicans wasted no time in criticizing Kennedy as unqualified for the job and unfamiliar with the state.

"If anything, it makes me more determined to run," said Rep. Peter King, a Long Island Republican who has already expressed his interest in the seat.

"As far as record of achievement I strongly believe that I'm much more qualified, much more experienced, and have an independent record," said King. "Nothing against Caroline Kennedy but I don't think anyone has a right to a seat."

Buy Bonds

Attended a State of Israel bond reception last night. The hook was that it was honoring a good friend of mine who is a pillar of the Jewish community here in my fair city. The guest speaker was Ambassador Asaf Shariv, the consul general of Israel in Nuevo York and he turned out to be fairly interesting along with throwing out some good jokes here and there at the expense of his fellow tribesmen. "The economic meltdown in New York now means that Jewish women are for the first time marrying for love." Rim shot. Shariv said that he believes that Israel will resort to economic pressure via the United States to solve the nuclear threat from Iran. According to Shariv, Iran gets fifty percent of its gasoline from five companies, all of which are largely dependent on the U.S. of A for their existence. He essentially thinks the next administration will make some offers they can't refuse in order to exert pressure on the nut jobs in Tehran. Of course, this could mean that Shariv is just your standard Mossad operative having fun knowing that they've already identified each and every target for an old fashioned Israeli style beat down courtesy of the greatest air force in the world. One thing about the Israelis--they're not bound by any of that turn the other cheek bullshit or wondering what the French will think. They throw down when it suits them. Anyway, I got some sort of dessert dish and some warm champagne out of the deal, along with signing up for an Israeli bond. Did my part to help buy some new tank treads.

Van Johnson, RIP

I always liked Van Johnson. He was very good in The Caine Mutiny. Thirty Seconds over Tokyo wasn't bad either.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/13/movies/13johnson.html?ref=obituaries

Quarterbacks and Teachers

A great read if you have a few minutes: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/12/15/081215fa_fact_gladwell?currentPage=all. Fascinating piece on the world of talent evaluation--in this case, NFL quarterbacks, financial planners, and most importantly, teachers. It may surprise you when it comes to teachers what is and is not ultimately important. As a society, we do a lousy job at finding, hiring, and keeping good teachers while hanging on to the crappy ones. There's a lot of blame for that, notably the teaching profession itself that goes to great lengths to protect its own, regardless of their level of suckitude. You hearing this, NEA? It's pretty damn obvious that change is warranted and will His Holiness have the political stones to go against an organization that worships the very water he walks on? That's recognizing, of course, the questionable water quality coming out of Chicago these days.

Also, Chase Daniels blows.

Death of a Legend

Bettie Page is dead at age 85. Ms. Page was THE hot chick in the 50's with her racy poses and S&M themed layouts and paved the way for a lot of men's magazines, the kind I once found in my dad's closet. I forgot the name (maybe, Argosy?) but they had covers that depicted hot dames with torn clothing at the clutches of Nazi SS goons or similar themes. The pics inside were highly mild by today's standards but still boner worthy. I was amazed that the old man would have an interest in such things--to me he was a dad and they were supposed to be just the guys who worked all day and then played catch with you and ocassionally beat your ass for some infraction, large or small. Anyway, that discovery probably led the way for me and other like young lads to hide away in the woods, thumbing through stolen Playboys that were hidden in hastedly constructed caches and quickly warped from Houston's jungle climate. Then, Penthouse came along, which introduced the concept of pubic hair on females--we had no idea it existed, and that revolutionized the whole arena of men's mags. "Jugs" and "Gent" and other like publications quickly fell by the wayside as the models quickly began spreading their legs a little wider until one day, we cast our eyes on the holy grail and proclaimed it good and righteous and that we must somehow, some way get into that wonderful place. Some got there quicker than others.

Merry Christmas, Damnit!

I get real tired of hearing "Happy Holidays" or "I'm going to a holiday party." What's so fricking bad about saying, "Merry Christmas" or going to a Christmas party? Apparently, a nice Jewish guy agrees: http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/faith/index.html.

I make a point of having "Merry Christmas" for both the cards sent out by the office and at home. I'm hoping that it will offend someone who finds it offensive and that they will complain to me. Then, I can tell them to shove their protest right up their chimney.

The Decline of Hunting...

...and the consequences upon wildlife and humans, in a fairly well explained article that recently appeared in SI: http://vault.sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1148866/1/index.htm.

For most hunters, they grew up doing it as something that was passed down by their father and his father before him. That's true for me, although like a lot of hunters these days, I tend to spend far too few days each year in the outdoors, much less squeezing the trigger on anything with four legs. We've gone soft--I spent last weekend looking at art after actually turning down an invitation to go hunting. Ten years ago, that would have been impossible. Anyway, the decrease of hunters and hunting is engaging a new dynamic in the animal population that will come as a surprise to those who think that nature is accurately reflected in cartoons.

Camp No. 14

This from the Washington Post regarding escaped prisoner, Shin Dong-Hyuk, born as a prisoner in North Korea and the only known escapee of this particular prison: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28170220/. It's an awful, awful place--the whole damn country. Even worse than Pecos.

"Taco John"

I live a life partially dedicated to having as little to do with lawyers, anal warts, and the NY Times as possible. But, this little tidbit rated a golf clap and might benefit those of you still in the bidness of raising fine young Christian gentlemens: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magazine/07teasing-t.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all.

If nothing else, check about midway through for a social experiment done involving a midwestern fraternity. You'll have a newfound appreciation for young "Taco John."

Grab a brew. Don't cost nothin.'

A Cold Day in Hell

That's what Derbyshire thinks before another Reagan appears on the horizon: http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=NmNhMTQ3NzkyZjdhZTUxMGI0ZWU4YmQwMzJlYjY3MDI=

Reading Milton and drinking scotch has him in a foul mood. Sobering stuff, actually, much like P.J. O'Rourke's damning treatise of a few weeks back. Maybe I'll have a nip or two, myself.

snugglebunnies

Just warms the heart to see how the dems are all locking arms and working together to bring about historic and honest change! Why, just the other day one of Obama's old Illinois political running buddies, when asked about doing a political favor for the man, had this rousing bit of support for the president-elect “ (I'm supposed to) suck it up . . . and give this motherfucker [the President-elect]] his senator. Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.”

Come on now, Gov. Blagojevich, don't beat around the bush. How do you really feel about the "One"?

Oprah

Apparently, she's back to official lard-ass status, with a public admission of lard-assedness and fondness for the entire Hostess Snack Cake inventory. Now this shocking revelation: http://www.foundmagazine.com/

Oprah says she's going to get back on the fitness wagon which will no doubt drag along her legion of pathetic admirers with her into new paths of infomercial driven weight loss schemes and ga-ga new age renewal horseshit. Then will be the ultimate lapse back into their collective bowls of weepy-weepy time, comfort food, and Yanni worship. Good times.

Clarification: that is not Oprah pictured above.

Hazaras

Didn't know anything about the Hazaras until reading this piece: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/12/08/081208fa_fact_wood?currentPage=all They're an ethnic minority in Afghanistan that is semi-effective in policing against the Pashtuns and Taliban and other ilk of the goat and boy molesting variety. Still, they're not all that gee gaw wonderful. Reading it, however, made me think of what three or four good Gurkha regiments might do, given the same opportunity. Let 'em loose and sit back with a Sidecar to watch the fun.

Voices

A short, interesting piece on audio recordings recently released by the British Library on several British writers including Joyce, Wodehouse and others. Most interesting are the comments from noted author of various farces, Joe Orton and his demise several days later: http://www.nationalpost.com/story-printer.html?id=7ab36fdb-78de-47eb-a856-5ed2207fad2d

A lot of poofs become writers and some of them are damn good at it. I picked up Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood" a couple of years ago and found it outstanding. BTW, if you ever see the original movie shot in black and white, the portrayl of one of the killers by Robert Blake is scary in the sense that he is a dead ringer in voice and image for the guy described by Capote and that he later did a little of the life imitating art stuff when he was somewhere in the vicinity of his nut job girlfriend when her head intercepted a couple of pistol slugs.

Writers do interest me. I've met several, and most are somewhat deficient in person. They are either a little lacking in social skills or at a point in life where their time seems to be better spent in pursuits other than talking to me. I've also found myself taking a liking to a certain author only to later read something about him that makes me think less of him. Probably similar to actors you have enjoyed then found annoying due to one of their political diatribes or other such silliness. There is a lesson here. Probably having to do with setting butterflies free or something. Or, drinking whiskey. Maybe shooting something. I don't know.

Sidecars and Americanos

Nice article in the WSJ's Weekend Edition (dead tree version) regarding great hotel bars and bartenders who know their art. The St. Regis, Waldorf-Astoria, and the Peninsula in New York all got high marks. Best mention, though went to Gus Tassopulos who has been mixing drinks for five decades at the Hotel Bel-Air in LA (not shown pictured at right). His style: "friendly but formal, attentive without being intrusive." Oh, and he went to work right away when asked to mix both a Sidecar and an Americano, famous drinks that seem to baffle most of the current breed of whiskey vendors. The former is made of brandy, Cointreau, and lemon or lime juice. The latter is Campari, sweet vermouth and club soda on the rocks.

Maybe the next time I saddle up to a nice bar I'll order a Sidecar. I'm not much for anything with syrup or that is too complicated so I usually drink scotch or Jack Daniel's straight up or on a few ice cubes but mostly end up just downing beer or wine at home and usually not alone in the dark. A Sidecar, an Americano, and some nice company to drink them with would be fun.

Tight fit. The Iowa class battleships were specifically designed to fit through the Panama Canal locks with inches to spare.

Here's the USS New Jersey going through:

http://www.pancanal.com/eng/photo/jersey-animation.html

Mildly interesting article in the WSJ about the South and college football:

"Half the people in that stadium can't spell LSU," says political consultant James Carville, an LSU alumnus. "It doesn't matter. They identify with it. It's culturally such a big deal."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122843720586081461.html

Math

I wish these guys were around when I was in high school--I felt the same way: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/shitload_of_math_due_monday

I sucked at math. Sucked, sucked, sucked. I hated it. I looked at a math problem and what stared back at me was some mocking, fucked up looking symbol invented by a drooling Bavarian sodomite that meant nothing to me except to say, "You're shit out of luck." Fuck fucking math. In my last semester of grad school, I had to take microeconomic theory which for whatever fucked up reason meant that derivitive calculus had to be employed. What the fuck for? So that shithead Professor Truitt could invent some more fucked up word problems involving the exchange of hot dogs for cokes? What a bunch of fucked up shit to completely fuck up my last semester, right down to having to take his motherfucking final on my last fucking day in school in order to make at least a fucking 80 to get a fucking B average in my fucking core courses in order to fucking get out of fucking grad school so I could get on with my fucking life as a fucking banker and debutante molester. Fuck it all.

I made it out and eventually took the microeco textbook to the H-O Ranch south of San Antonio where I personally shot it three times with a 30.06. Killed that fucker dead, I did.

"I'm all fucked up."

Body Language

No, not that kind--well, maybe later. I've heard that jewelry works.


A funny ha-ha from bounced NR scion and current semi-erect Obama admirer, Chris Buckley: http://www1.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-11-17/obamas-awkward-group-photo/1/





I don't expect the boys and girls over at NR to ever welcome the exiled heir back, but he's a curious lad and clever with all them fancy words and he doesn't really give a shit who he's skewering, whether its whiney liberals or knuckle draggers.

Baylor Proud

I must admit failure as a Baylor parent. Last night my son informed me that today was "favorite college" day at his school, and he asked if I had an old Baylor tee-shirt, polo shirt or sweat shirt that he could wear.

First of all, he came to me because he knew he didn't have one. Never has. Hell, he has never had anything with Baylor, BU, Thee University, Bears, or any form of my alma mater's logo stitched or pasted on it. No diapers, onesies, knit caps, pjs, tats - nothing.

Shit, I'm surprised he even knows I spent time there.

Secondly, I pretty much knew right away that I didn't have anything either. I had to hem and haw and stumble around like Bush answering a tough question on nuclear proliferation. Finally I told him I would look in the attic to see if I had anything from my younger days, knowing full well I had nothing left from 4 years in Waco besides a frat pin, a really ugly pledge jersey, some pictures, a few sordid memories he sure isn't going to hear anything about, and a diploma that - for all intents and purposes - I should have used to wipe my ass.

So, I just let it drop. Fortunately for me, he didn't ask again this morning, and just went with a blue polo. Heck, I couldn't even find a decent green or gold shirt to suggest. That schoolyard's going to be covered up with maroon and burnt orange, and my poor kids going to be walking around with nothing to show for my four years of labor. Maybe they'll just assume we cheer for the local boys over at SMU.

Oh, the shame.

Bending Over

That's what Pinkel and his young gentlemens will probably spend a great deal of Saturday doing, at least according to our friends at EDSBS: http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/

Who knows--maybe the Sooners aren't in to that barnyard stuff and won't be properly motivated.

Excellent stuff. Also, the Auburn smack is delicious. Reminds me of my Aunt Syble's biscuits. She lived northwest of there in Anniston and spent most of her waking hours in her kitchen, dragging on Winston's and sipping warm Schlitz while swatting flies and casting dispersions on my Uncle Hugh. A large can of lard was always nearby and it went into everything. I'm almost certain her cast iron skillet had a flame underneath 24/7. Good eatin'. Uncle Hugh played a lot of solitaire when he wasn't nursing on a fine batch of Early Times. He was once a great basketball player out of the little town of Forney. In his junior year, his team was invited to a tournament in Atlanta and were feted at a banquet at a fancy hotel. The first course was brought out-- a salad served on a doily. So, the country ass boys from Forney looked at each other and jointly decided that cleaning your plate meant just that, so down went the salad, doily and all. I'm reasonably certain that the servers, undoubtedly black men from Atlanta, laughed their asses off for a good fifty or so years afterward.

Change is in the Air

EDSBS is reporting that Tuberville is done at Auburn: http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/

I had no idea that Tuberville shilled for Golden Flake or even that the company still existed. As a kid, I visited Alabama often (mom's family) and billboards and commercials featuring Bear Bryant extolling the virtues of those taters were everywhere. They're called "crisps" over in that England place. On trains, these pathetic guys go up and down the aisles with a "crisp lorry" or cart or whatever they call it, lisping out "Crisps" to uninterested passengers. All I know is that when it's all said and done, I won't have shovelled shit in in Louisiana or sold potato products on the route between Wimbledon and King's Cross.

Full dislosure: I have shovelled shit in Texas. Lots of it.