Weekend's Here...

...time to slip into something more comfortable. You get the idea.

More on Bonnie and Clyde

Stephen Hunter with a nice piece on the life and legend of not only Bonnie and Clyde, but also a great ending regarding legendary Texas Ranger, Frank Hamerhttp://www.commentarymagazine.com/viewarticle.cfm/clyde-and-bonnie-died-for-nihilism-15205. I've read a number of like pieces and I think this one by Hunter really assesses the myth and fact about these characters very well. I particularly like his viewpoint regarding Hamer, who was one helluva man and another in a line of hell bent for leather Rangers.

My favorite Ranger, though remains Captain Leander McNelly, who McMurtry allegedly used as a model for Woodrow Call in "Lonesome Dove." Read about him sometime--"Taming the Nueces Strip" is a fantastic book and you'll get a sense of what life was really like in post-Civil War Texas. As Gus McRae would have no doubt said, McNelly was one "hard man to stop."

Shalom, Y'all

Britney's "diary" regarding her journey through Judiasm: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2009/07/27/090727sh_shouts_borowitz. Pretty amusing.

Billiards Wednesday

It's hot outside. Anyone care for some eight ball?

Sit Rep

Here's an ABC report from a forward operating base in Afghanistan: http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=8134101&page=1. Could have used a keener eye but nonetheless interesting. As always, it's staggering to consider the responsibility given to young men (here a 24 year old lieutenant is running the war in this part of the country). This isn't a new thing--there were a helluva lot of young bucks who were generals in the Civil War and even a few in WWII, I think (fact check, anyone?). I know that Tom Landry flew a shitload of bomber missions over Germany as a young twenty something. Anyway, we've got some good men over there right now trying to root out the goat and boy molesting Taliban. God speed to them.

Dance News

A sad development in the world of creative dance--Shellback--thought maybe you'd like to have this to ruminate on: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/28/arts/dance/28cunningham.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all.

Above and Beyond the Call of Duty

What would you do?http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/07/27/awkward-family-story-the-plunge/

I've stopped it up more than once with some rather large discharges, sometimes with an added spackle like consistency. Never had to resort to the arm treatment, though, prefering instead the coward's route with the plunger.

It's a scientific fact that Kayleigh Pearson has never been to the bathroom. Well, just to freshen up and maybe adjust a strap or two. That kind of thing.

Hard Times at Disney

Read it and weep, mousketeers: http://www.yankeepotroast.org/archives/2009/07/walt_disney_wor.html. Guess you'll just have to make due with looking at pictures of attractive females. You'll survive.

It's Friday

Brooke Banx suggests you let your hair down. Seems to work for her.

Let 'em loose

That's what Lenore Skenazy says about children in her book called, "Free Range Kids":http://www.stats.org/stories/2009/hey_parents_july17_09.html. I endorse this idea. We're fixated on protecting our kids against the dangers of life while ignoring the fact that the world is infinitely safer for our children now than when we navigated through our own growing years. Of course, that's an easy concept to agree with if you either have no children or yours are already grown. Try it while you watch your youngster disappear out of sight down the street in a busy neighborhood just after watching a bulletin on TV regarding the latest Amber alert. Easier said than done. Still, doing what you can to instill a sense of independence in your children and letting them wander is a great thing and whenever you can promulgate this practice your kids are beneficiaries of something they need for those tough days ahead.

We had a lot of freedom when I was a kid, most notably in the summer. In those days, parents shooed you out of the house and wouldn't let you in unless it was meal time. You stayed outside-- inventing games, torturing frogs, throwing rocks at each other, learning to cuss, fighting, picking at dog and insect bites, seeking out fireworks and other contraband, and drinking water out of a garden hose when thirsty. Overall, highly instructional in terms of preparation for days ahead. When you get home this evening, tell junior or sis to get their little ass out of the house and stay out until you call 'em in for dinner. You and the missus can then square away a couple of cocktails and maybe settle a little business of your own with the house all to yourselves. Not a bad idea.

Letters to the Editor

A couple of good ones to the editor over at pinko-Slate: http://www.slate.com/id/2223374/. Hilarious to read--obviously not if you're the person with the issue in question. I'm going out on a limb here in saying that it's a pretty safe bet your husband is gay if he is ensconced with gay related Internet sites and belongs to some gay "spas." Might want to go ahead and come to grips with that little bit of info. Then there's the guest with the "spotting" problem. Not good. That's where a good bird dog comes into play. I used to have a Weimeraner and he was hell on wheels when it came to sniffing out a female on her period--would stick his nose right in her crotch and say, "Howdy" as soon as she walked in the door. Highly embarrassing all around but it definitely served to get some facts straight regarding where things stood in terms of your guest's monthly cycle. After a while, nobody would show up at the house who was on their period which definitely cut down on possible septic issues. Good dog, old Kaiser. He was a committed bachelor for the first ten or so years of his life until we farmed him out to my parents' little ranch where he happily sired several outstanding litters. He wasn't like the rough, younger sires either, but would instead nuzzle his mate afterward and even lie down with her for a post game siesta. The girls loved him. He did that for a couple of years and finally keeled over. Not a bad life.

Deepak Chopra, Shitbird

Gutfeld calls out Mr. New Age Dickhead: http://dailygut.com/. Like he says, if Chopra were some white guy, no one would listen to him. Instead, la-la types thinks he's to be taken seriously because he's from India and says words like, "holistic." I can guarantee you with 100% certainty that the guy is a world class asshole, especially to those minions who serve under him in his employ or encounter him in off camera situations. Kind of like that fat ass who makes "documentaries" or certain politicians named, "Hillary." You know, symbolism over substance.

Criticism of "The Hurt Locker"

Saw "Hurt Locker" recently and liked it, but noted what I thought were a few irritating gaffs when it came to weapons and situational tactics. Apparently, this guy feels the same: http://ricks.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2009/07/21/the_hurt_locker_recommended_but_with_reservations.

Still, I liked the movie and I think they got it mostly right. I had a meeting yesterday with a guy who did a couple of tours in Iraq as an Army captain. He hadn't yet seen the movie, but I discussed some of the things that I saw and questioned. In one instance in the movie, the demo guys are pinned down in the dessert by a sniper and team up to use a Barret rifle formerly manned by a dead British private contractor--doing so with apparent mastery (see above). I mentioned this to the former Army captain, questioning whether these guys would have the training to do that. "You'd be surprised," he said. "We did a lot of cross training with weapons and guys in a lot of different units know how to use pretty much everything." Fair enough. Anyway, go see it, but maybe leave the missus at home--it's pretty intense and graphic. Mine went with me and I'll be watching chick flicks for a year as payback.

Speaking of golfing...

...it's important to make a correct turn with the hips. Just trying to help you duffers out there.

Throwing Woods

A pretty good story on Tiger's less than stellar behavior on the course: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?id=4347419. I don't particularly care for Reilly or read him religiously, but I agree with him calling out Woods for carrying on like an asshole on the course. Reilly points out that Watson et al don't do the same--they stay composed and take it like men when they're having a bad hole or day on the course. That's what a professional is supposed to do. Amateurs, too.

The game has certainly coarsened a little over the years and you can observe some fairly loutish antics on both public and private courses. Still, for the most part, it remains a cut above the rest and the manners that are part of the game are a big reason why a lot of people play it--decorum is integral to the sport when all else around you is going to hell. I like that. I also like urinating outdoors when given the opportunity, as well as spitting, smoking, etc. which you're entitled to when playing golf (I think it's Rule 324.5 in the R&A). You can also wear some fairly loud clothes and odd head wear and no one thinks much of it.

I've been playing a fair amount of golf recently, having joined a modest club convenient to my home and office. Can't say that my game has improved much, but I am enjoying it; walking mostly and occasionally hopping on a cart for the back nine. Most of the folks there are nice and not too smitten with the country club attitude--it's my first foray into the country club thing but I don't think we've got too many uppity types at this club. I do enjoy showing up and walking on at most times, not bothering for a tee time. Also, it's nice when the bartenders know your name and what you like to drink, and the high school guys down at the bag storage see you coming and have your clubs ready by the time you get to the range. Nice, I guess, and part of those little things, like tipping your hat to your playing partners at the end of the round that make golf something a little different. Did I mention taking a leak outdoors? Yeah, that's nice.

It's Monday...

...and sometimes that's like being in a padded room. Well, if you have to spend time in one, maybe you can join Ms.

McGregor here to pass the time. Easier to bounce around with.

Tom Wolfe on Space

Or, really, the space program and it's demise: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/19/opinion/19wolfe.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all. Really liked, "The Right Stuff," both the book and the movie. Chuck Yeager has been a god ever since, with Wolfe's description reminding us what a real man really was.

NASA and the space program and the race against the Soviets were a fundamental aspect of my childhood years, growing up in Houston in the sixties. Hell, my first little league team was named, "Polaris" as all the other teams in our league had space program monikers--the Nikes, the Saturns, the Apollos, etc. The trouble was that none of us, including our coaches, knew what "Polaris" was or meant or anything beyond that it was a word beginning with a "P." We really wanted to be the Lions or the Bearcats or the Hurricanes or something fearsome and relatable. What the hell was a Polaris, anyway? We never knew. Another frequent memory was hearing sonic booms from fighters out of Ellington, piloted by the Armstrongs and Aldrins, et al as they prepped for their missions. I heard them all the time while out playing or looking for horned toads and snakes. The funny thing was that when the day of the landing came and Armstrong's step onto the moon, the kids were only somewhat interested--we assumed it was going to happen and continued on with whatever frog torture or other meaness we were otherwise engaged. The adults, all depression era and WWII survivors, were flat out amazed and slack jawed and also quite flummoxed that we were not sharing in their fascination. Don't know. Maybe it was all of that mosquito spray.

Spy Stories

Here are some reasonably interesting spies of yore: http://www.cracked.com/article_17540_5-spies-with-bigger-balls-than-james-bond.html including Mata Hari. I don't think Ms. Hari looked as swell as young Sara here, but if she had, the firing squad might have recognized the distinction between their rifles and their guns and gone with the latter that day. Whew.

Handmaidens of Satan

Scientific proof: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2009/jul/13/cats-purr-food-research.

I'm not a cat person and I suppose that most men fit into that category. In fact, I've never fully trusted men who are cat fanciers, suspecting that there is some gear missing or that they will possibly steal your breath at odd hours--something like that, though I've never really thought it out completely. When I was young and single, there was sort of an unwritten "man rule" when it came to women who had cats: avoid them. The reasoning here was that at some point in whatever relationship that developed with the young lady, she would face a decision pitting the cat against you, and that it would tax her already burdened sense of rational thought, probably to your detriment. Yes, this sounds piggish and sexist and all but it's also the cold, hard truth. Anyway, I would have probably put up with someone with a cat in a one bedroom apartment but it was never an issue. I did know a guy who, along with his girlfriend, housed a Burmese rock python in their apartment. She named it "Deborah" after his ex. The snake probably stole Deborah's breath, too.

More Hope. And, Stuff

Here's some deep thoughts from Obama's speechmaker (satire alert): http://www.yankeepotroast.org/archives/2009/07/the_private_lif.html. It's all very logical. Golf clap.

Byron on Display

Thought you knew Lord Byron? Here's a primer via a Slate book review: http://www.slate.com/id/2222669/pagenum/all. I think that Byron would be very, very comfortable in 2009. Immensly comfortable.

Joe Bowman, Sharpshooter, Dies at 84

Ashamed to say that I don't believe I've heard of him.

By WILLIAM GRIMES

It is not easy to whip out a pistol and splitS a playing card edgewise at 30 paces. Joe Bowman did it routinely, and he had a few more tricks up his elaborately embroidered western sleeve.

“I remember him throwing a washer up in the air, firing a pistol, and saying, ‘I shot right through it,’ ” said Dan Pastorini, a former quarterback for the Houston Oilers and a longtime friend of Mr. Bowman. “I laughed and said, ‘Sure, Joe.’ So he wrapped a piece of tape over the hole in the washer, threw it in the air and fired again. The tape was gone.”

Joe Bowman, known as the Straight Shooter and the Master of Triggernometry, died June 29 in Junction, Tex., where he had stopped for the night after putting on a fast-draw and sharpshooting exhibition for the Single Action Shooting Society’s annual convention near Albuquerque. He was 84 and lived in Houston.

The cause was a heart attack, his wife, Betty Reid-Bowman, said.

At gun shows and rodeos all over the country, Mr. Bowman dazzled audiences with his fancy gunplay and sharpshooting with pistol and rifle. In one of his more elaborate stunts, he put two lighted candles on either side of an ax blade, balanced a .22-caliber bullet on the blade and then split the bullet with a rifle shot. The two pieces of the bullet extinguished the candle flames.
Mr. Bowman’s way with a gun made him famous.

In the United States, he trained television and film actors to draw a gun at lightning speed and twirl a six-shooter with authority. In “Lonesome Dove,” Robert Duvall hefted the heavy Walker revolver once used by the Texas Rangers thanks to lessons from Mr. Bowman....

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/06/us/06bowman.html?ref=obituaries

The Summer Game

Here's a series review on the current four game set between the Nationals and the Astros. A lot of the stuff on here is a little cryptic for those not in tune with goings on with the teams, especially Houston: http://www.spikesnstars.com/2009/07/09/nationals-v-astros-five-times-should-be-enough/.

Lauren Reese, pictured here, is head over heels about baseball.

Happy Weekend

In our part of the world, summer came early and with a vengeance--we're hitting at least 105 every day with no relief in sight. I used to bitch about the heat until I decided the best way to deal with it was to defeat it--stay outside as much as possible and embrace it. Kinda works until about the end of August when you begin to say, "Goddamn it, enough!" at another scorcher. Anyway, enough about weather. Here's the lovely, Sara who has agreed to help refocus your concentration:

More Mandy

Apparently, she's generated some interest. Don't know if she's related to Mandy Pepperidge or not. Enjoy.

Hitchens for a Thursday

Here's a Q&A with Christopher Hitchens that's worth the read:http://www.walrusmagazine.com/articles/2009.07-online-exclusive-interview-christopher-hitchens-dave-morris. Hitchens fascinates me, though I frequently disagree and am sometimes repelled by his arguments. He's the kind of guy who is completely free in his thoughts and not beholden to anyone. He'll just as soon annoy a liberal as a conservative and will frequently do both within the same paragraph. Great guy to read and listen to. Loves to smoke and drink at all hours of the day (Amis would be proud). Also, who else uses, "piffle" these days?

Crazy Retro

Maybe the good old days were not all that: http://www.retrocomedy.com/2009/07/15-creepiest-vintage-ads-of-all-time.html. Well, some things, maybe.

Real Myths

Check your fingers after reading: http://www.cracked.com/article_17432_6-ridiculous-sex-myths-that-are-actually-true.html. As for this young lady, I'm guessing she's all woman.

Cretins

While on the subject of hot air and stuff, here's Gutfeld ripping new ass when it comes to breaking down what passes for the reporting of "poll" reports; http://dailygut.com/. Turns out it's the work of hacks like the guy pictured here, who push their fucked up world views as solid polling which networks and other progressive thinking establishments happily lap up without once considering an agenda at work.

His Finest Hour

Gore says that fighting global warming is like fighting Nazis: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article6658672.ece. He's aiming to grease the treads of his Prius with the guts of the Hun dead. Wise up, you fascist gas guzzlers--the forces of righteousness will not rest until your fat asses are atop a bicycle.

McNamara

Robert Fulford weighs in on Robert McNamara, now presently taking a dirt nap: http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2009/07/06/robert-fulford-on-robert-mcnamara-a-great-blessing-to-all-those-people-who-love-saying-that-brains-aren-t-everything.aspx.

The same thing that bothered me (and others) about McNamara and his ilk has now affixed itself to the Obama administration: a legion of pointy heads quite sure that they know what's best for you and me and few if any of them having enough sense to pour piss out of a boot. Lots of academics, lots of public policy types, lots of community organizers and damn few if any of people who did stuff that involved getting paid based on real life work. The jury is still out but by the way they're throwing money around, it's a tad concerning. The R's are now in the process of rediscovering just what in the hell they stand for but are short dicked everywhere a vote is taking place, so they can't do much but feign outrage as the money printing rolls on 24/7.

And with it all now, we've got Al Franken as an official United States Senator. Cue the circus music.

Stunts

Here's a piece listing movies where stunts play a prominent role, or that stuntmen think are totally rad: http://www.slate.com/id/2221388/. I can think of a lot that aren't on here, notably the Ford "cavalry" trilogy where a real life Ben Johnson does his own stunts, many of them highly impressive to behold (he was a real cowboy prior to being discovered by La-La Land).

The last film mentioned in this article, C'Etait Un Rendezvouz, is only nine minutes long and you can actually watch it on the Internet. Essentially, they shot this in 1978 and the film consists of a guy driving hell bent for leather through Paris at around five in the morning. He allegedly reached as high as 140mph and it is pretty impressive to watch him haul ass up boulevards as startled Parisians wonder just what the merde went past them. Usually, you only see that kind of reaction from Parisians when panzers drive through town on their way to Calais.

Impressive how the young stuntwoman above can maintain a perfect core while wearing high heels. Amazing.

Saddam's Pistol

I had heard it was Makarov but apparently not - it's the full auto Glock 18C.

Many American presidents have kept prized possessions within reach during their White House years. Franklin D. Roosevelt cherished a 19th century ship model of the U.S.S. Constitution. One of Dwight D. Eisenhower’s favorite gifts was an engraved Steuben glass bowl from his cabinet. And sitting on John F. Kennedy’s desk in the Oval Office was a paperweight made from a coconut shell he had carved with a distress message after his PT-109 was sunk during World War II.

The objects have been bequeathed to the American public, accessible through a visit to each man’s presidential library and museum. And so when the library for George W. Bush opens in 2013 on the campus of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, visitors will most likely get to see one of his most treasured items: Saddam Hussein’s pistol.

The gun, a 9 millimeter Glock 18C, was found in the spider hole where the Iraqi leader was captured in December 2003 by Delta Force soldiers, four of whom later presented the pistol to Mr. Bush. Among the thousands of gifts Mr. Bush received as president, the gun became a favorite, a reminder of the pinnacle moment of the Iraq war, according to friends and long-time associates....

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/06/us/06gun.html?ref=us

Another thing...

Dress patriotically this weekend. Mandy Ashford is star spangled.

July 3rd

Before the commencement of fireworks and happiness on Independence Day, I always think about July 3rd--the third day of the Battle of Gettysburg which marked the high tide of the Confederacy with Pickett's Charge (actually the Pickett-Pettigrew Charge) against the Union center on Cemetery Ridge. If you've ever been there, it seems impossible that anyone would have survived that assault--it's an endless march up a slope and into the massed fire of Federal artillery and Springfield rifles. Brave men on both sides and that fateful day broke the back of the desperate gamble of Lee's invasion of the North and with it, any real hope for victory in the awful war.

When I was a kid long ago, one of our favorite war games was "Rebels and Yankees." Essentially, all of us were Rebels--nobody would have dreamed of being the other--and, armed with toy guns or sticks, we were forever successful in our numerous attacks against the blue clad hordes of our imaginations. The Civil War was still something that people talked about then and even though we were not well versed on the actual course of the war, we were fairly well aware that we were loyal Southerners and smarted at our loss of the war. Maybe hard to understand for others, especially in light of the rabid allegiance by Southerners to the United States Military and to the Stars and Stripes. Maybe it's endemic that we lend true faith and allegiance a little more readily than elsewhere. Whatever the case, that was the deal.

Later, I came across something when reading Faulkner's, "Intruder in the Dust" that has stuck with me like few other things and resonates as strongly with me now as during my long ago youth:

"For every Southern boy fourteen years old, not once but whenever he wants it, there is the instant when it's still not yet two o'clock on the July afternoon in 1863, the brigades are in position behind the rail fence, the guns are laid and ready in the woods and the furled flags are already loosened to break out and Pickett himself with his long oiled ringlets and his hat in one hand probably and his sword in the other looking up the hill waiting for Longstreet to give the word and it's all in the balance, it hasn't happened yet..."

Lest we forget.

Maintain a Balanced Diet

Kinda says it all, right? Enjoy.

Getaway

The 4th is upon us and with it, the heavy summer vacation period when people drift away and the guy you need to talk to in order to get something done is suddenly gone for two weeks. I've always admired the folks that go to cooler climes in the summer: it seems I either stick it out or go to someplace even hotter. Up north or east or wherever, they have "summer homes" on the "shore" where they escape to in order to break out all of their L.L. Bean gear and gripe about Republican scum and the scarcity of decent bread in America. Here's something along those lines: http://www.slate.com/id/2221906/.

I don't have a vacation home. I've thought about it but have never come close to doing anything. It would be nice to have your own place on the coast or wherever, but it would end up being a great deal for friends and family who would probably spend more time there than your own clan--at least that's how it would develop for me. That's the way it works unless you're the asshole type who forbids anyone other than their immediate family from staying. The other problem is that you would have someone like this young lady staying next door who would grow tired of the beach and would begin making multiple trips over to borrow cups of sugar and whatnot. Really bothersome, some people.

Clever Nazis Update

Says here that the Horten 229 could "have won the war for the Nazis." http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529548,00.html. No, I don't think so, but interesting to read, nonetheless.

Saw "Saving Private Ryan" for about the six hundreth time on Sunday. It's one of those movies that if I happen to run across while channel surfing, I must watch it ("Day of the Jackal, The Searchers, the Godfathers, Animal House" are others). Daughter #2 sat down and remarked, "this must have won the Academy Award." I chuckled and let her know that in it's infinite wisdom, members of the Academy voted "Shakespeare in Love" as that year's best film, as they deemed the war pic to be a little too sentimental and patriotic for their refined tastes. I saw "Shakespeare" when it came out. I haven't seen it since and I'm probably not alone there or with the millions of others who have gone on to see "Private Ryan" six hundred times.