Tiger and Steve don't like Phil and Bones http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=3770488. Filed under "No Shit?"
Tiger's caddy is a reported goon and general asshole who doesn't like Mickelson, well known for being a course management dumbass of epic proportions. Phil thinks his caddy is a "class act." I think his caddy must also be one hell of an enabler, allowing his man to pull the wrong club at the worst possible moments in one tourney after another. If I were on Phil's bag and he tried yanking the driver out on 18 with a two stroke lead, I'd knock the living shit out of him and maybe kick him square in the nutsack for good measure. "What do you think about hitting the driver now, Shirley? Here--hold this three wood while I look for your teeth."
I last played golf about a month ago in a Ryder Cup style tournament where the final nine holes were individual match play. My opponent was a dick; doing the gamesmanship stuff and being a general shitbird while running his weak smack in my direction. Fortunately, after quickly going two down to Mr. Asswipe, I pulled my head out of the rear cavity and stuck his limp dick in the dirt, finishing him off 3 and 2. Makes one happy to do justice now and then, and on a beautiful Friday afternoon, to boot. Afterward, home to cocktails on the patio, grilling, and light gymnastics with the missus. Ripping stuff.
6 comments:
"No shit?" indeed. Rivalry and pure unadulterated hatred is what makes "sport" the money maker that it is, at least as far as causing the average joe to spend 300 bucks for a pair of tickets and drop a c-note plus change for a jersey.
A few years back I was watching a Stars hockey game. Derian Hatcher, Stars enforcer, was still a bit miffed about the hit an opposing player had laid on Mike Modano a few weeks prior. So, as any good hockey tough guy would do, he laid the same hit on said opposing player, one Jeremy Roenick. Broke Roenick's jaw in 2 places and knocked out 4 teeth. Roenick finished his shift before skating to the bench to pick out his teeth.
Now that's sport! I became a fan for life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CThbqIXS8xM
As far as your last golf/drinks/grilling/etc. episode goes, I'm as envious as a vegan at Smitty's Market...
Ravenous...
Although a newcomer to this blog, I must state for the record that I am unimpressed with your topic selection and your misplaced rectitude regarding a golf match. Were you wearing your coordinated tweed sportcoat and silk ascot?
Contain your essence, General Ripper. Win a fucking UFC if you want to impress.
Blow it out your ass, Wally.
A gloroius read, Buckner~!
Glenn, you left out the Slazenger 4 reference.
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