I must admit failure as a Baylor parent. Last night my son informed me that today was "favorite college" day at his school, and he asked if I had an old Baylor tee-shirt, polo shirt or sweat shirt that he could wear.
First of all, he came to me because he knew he didn't have one. Never has. Hell, he has never had anything with Baylor, BU, Thee University, Bears, or any form of my alma mater's logo stitched or pasted on it. No diapers, onesies, knit caps, pjs, tats - nothing.
Shit, I'm surprised he even knows I spent time there.
Secondly, I pretty much knew right away that I didn't have anything either. I had to hem and haw and stumble around like Bush answering a tough question on nuclear proliferation. Finally I told him I would look in the attic to see if I had anything from my younger days, knowing full well I had nothing left from 4 years in Waco besides a frat pin, a really ugly pledge jersey, some pictures, a few sordid memories he sure isn't going to hear anything about, and a diploma that - for all intents and purposes - I should have used to wipe my ass.
So, I just let it drop. Fortunately for me, he didn't ask again this morning, and just went with a blue polo. Heck, I couldn't even find a decent green or gold shirt to suggest. That schoolyard's going to be covered up with maroon and burnt orange, and my poor kids going to be walking around with nothing to show for my four years of labor. Maybe they'll just assume we cheer for the local boys over at SMU.
Oh, the shame.
First of all, he came to me because he knew he didn't have one. Never has. Hell, he has never had anything with Baylor, BU, Thee University, Bears, or any form of my alma mater's logo stitched or pasted on it. No diapers, onesies, knit caps, pjs, tats - nothing.
Shit, I'm surprised he even knows I spent time there.
Secondly, I pretty much knew right away that I didn't have anything either. I had to hem and haw and stumble around like Bush answering a tough question on nuclear proliferation. Finally I told him I would look in the attic to see if I had anything from my younger days, knowing full well I had nothing left from 4 years in Waco besides a frat pin, a really ugly pledge jersey, some pictures, a few sordid memories he sure isn't going to hear anything about, and a diploma that - for all intents and purposes - I should have used to wipe my ass.
So, I just let it drop. Fortunately for me, he didn't ask again this morning, and just went with a blue polo. Heck, I couldn't even find a decent green or gold shirt to suggest. That schoolyard's going to be covered up with maroon and burnt orange, and my poor kids going to be walking around with nothing to show for my four years of labor. Maybe they'll just assume we cheer for the local boys over at SMU.
Oh, the shame.
4 comments:
Goddamnit, nimdok--drop and give me fucking twenty.
Yours in Christ,
Mike
You and your son just took the first step in distancing yourselves from one another, nomdik.
Smart fucking kid.
BRILLIANT!
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