More on death...

...or, obituaries to be exact: http://www.thesmartset.com/article/article04220903.aspx. I read the obituaries every day--they appear in the "Metro" section of my city's rag. Most are of little note, though occasionally I see someone I know (or should know) or read one that touches me, such as the death of a child or someone who seemed genuinely good. Increasingly though, I see an unfortunate trend toward amateurism, with family members or friends eschewing the help of the paper's obit staff and embarking on oddly thought out and sometimes bizarre send offs. Of course, this has a lot to do with my city which has more than a few free spirits bouncing around the place. Another awful trend is the writer taking the opportunity to proclaim that dear Aunt Linda "was a proud Democrat and would want her friends to vote Democratic in the upcoming election" or Uncle Richard "spent his last hours discussing Ronald Reagan's misuse of the Constitution" (actual quote). Is that how you really want to be remembered, as a spiteful old shit wrapped up in something that really doesn't matter? Please, folks, get a damn grip.

I've written a couple of obituaries; one for my old man and the other for my father in law. In both instances, I have learned the value of sticking to the facts and not getting melodramatic with the thing. Also, when it comes to the funeral services themselves, there's a lot to be said with sticking to tradition--it keeps the thing from getting out of hand and turning into a fiasco on behalf of the departed. I personally witnessed that once when a business client and friend died and his loved ones decided to have memorial service, inviting friends and family up to the mic to say something about old John. After the second or third story about old John and his exploits in Boys Town, I had firmly decided that a tidy, old fashioned church service (pick any) makes a lot of sense. Old John gets a few nice words said about him, he's buried, and his "friends" can relate the whore house stories with each other on their next hunting trip--not in front of his widow and daughters.

I think for me, I would like a quick obit to note that I don't give a rat's ass for who you vote for or whether or not you want to send flowers and not to get into any of my odd interests or note that I enjoyed nature or any of that other Reader's Digest crap. In fact, I'd just prefer the thing published after I'm cremated or buried or thrown into a cactus flat and folks and the world can go merrily along. There you have it.