Baseball Ramblings

Here's another series preview of the suck infested Astros, this time against the mostly lowly Pirates: http://www.spikesnstars.com/2009/05/29/astros-at-pirates-nights-of-the-long-knives/. Houston is playing horribly and has a manager who is clearly insane. Let me know if you need any translation help, especially all of you francophiles and soccer dad types.

EDSBS--They sort of rule

Some Clemson player got busted for being hammered on a motor scooter at 5am or so--give or take. "Is there a problem, officers?" Also, see the "Hours/Activities chart" http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/05/28/fulmer-cupdate-and-the-streets-of-clemson-are-safe-tonight/#more-10413. Seriously funny stuff. Haven't we all been in the "4:00-5:00am" zone?

Legalisms

Richard Thompson Ford thinks that Sonia Sotomayor was courageous in turning away the New Haven Firefighters' appeal of a civil rights ruling: http://www.slate.com/id/2219062/. Frank Ricci and other firefighters scored higher on a competitive written exam but were passed over in favor of minority candidates in order to promote a more "fair" result. Thompson and those that defend affirmative action think that the country isn't beyond its racist past and policies under Title Whatever and others used to justify such actions need to remain in place. I always find it interesting to read their arguments--they are full of some of the most gerrymandering reasoning you'll find in our enlightened society. Plato and his buddies would have a blast reading the stuff and would no doubt laugh their asses off at what passes for big thinking these days. There is no question that minorities were the victims of some heinous treatment in our country, but it ain't going on now, and it's time to cut the bullshit and put an end to this stuff. It doesn't make a right and it does no favors to what our country should stand for. Making a decision based on the color of someone's skin is wrong, or that is what I thought. If that is not correct, then those favoring affirmative action need to have the intellectual honesty to quit their mumbling and speak clearly.

I'm moving my mom into an independent living facility and have been charged with the horrible task of sifting through mounds of old bank statements, etc. in attempting to clean out her house. Last night, I came across my old man's result from his civil service exam for promotion to assistant chief of the Houston Fire Department. I remember him studying for the exam: a high school dropout (he went off to the Big War to fight the Japanese) who spent hours and hours sitting under a tree in our backyard, pouring over burn temps and characteristics for various materials among other things--a lot of it was complex stuff. Out of respect, neither me or my buddies would play out there or even make noise because my old man was trying to get a promotion. So, I looked at the result--he scored a 96.4 during a four hour written exam and became assistant chief, the reward for his efforts. Makes you wonder what would happen to old Dan in this new age.

I've thrown out a lot of stuff but that faded piece of paper on HFD stationary is one I'll keep.

The Dark Continent

No, not Africa, but a somewhat sobering piece regarding not only Germany's but Europe's complicity in the holocaust: http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,625824,00.html. No doubt Hitler's vision of a continent without Jews and other groups of "undesirables" drove the engine but other countries were all too happy to join in, mostly without having to be nudged along. Here's a delightful passage that kind of spells it all out:

Just for example, on June 27, 1941, a colonel in the staff of the German Northern Army Group in the Lithuanian city of Kaunas passed a petrol station surrounded by a crowd of people. There were shouts of bravo and clapping, mothers raised their children to give them a better view. The officer stepped closer and later wrote down what he had seen. "On the concrete courtyard there was a blond man aged around 25, of medium height, who was taking a rest and supporting himself on a wooden club which was as thick as an arm and went up to his chest. At his feet lay 15 or 20 people who were dead or dying. Water poured from a hose and washed the blood into a drain."

The officer continued: "Just a few paces behind the man stood around 20 men who--guarded by several armed civilians--awaited their gruesome execution in silent submission. Beckoned with a curt wave, the next one stepped up silently and was beaten to death with the wooden club, and every blow met with enthusiastic cheers from the audience.

When all lay dead on the ground, the blond murderer climbed on the heap of corpses and played the accordion. His audience sang the Lithuanian anthem as if the orgy of murder had been a national ceremony."

I eagerly await the next lecture from our Euro betters regarding the backwardness of certain segments of American society. Yes, eagerly.

Thank You

Over the holiday weekend Mrs. N, the youngun and I stopped in at the local used bookstore. As with most families, we have a summer vacation coming up, and I thought it would be a good time to buy a couple of travel books, maps, etc. We'll be off to a land we've never visited before, so...

Didn't take long to realize that - even at used book prices - the small amount of information I might glean from any of the available guides would be minimal and the purchases a waste of money. So while the better half was off looking for "The Idiot's Guide to Getting Rid of Your Spouse", I decided to find a book that Mr. Bulba recommended a long time ago - the memoirs of a high private in the Confederate Army, a common man (farmer) who served throughout the entire Civil War and fought in many of the major battles. "Company Aytch" is the title, and I had been trying to find it for quite some time.

My 9 year old accompanied me to the war history section, and we searched everywhere. Just as we were about to give up, I spotted the lone copy, a dog-eared paperback hidden by fancier hardbacks. I was delighted, and quickly flipped through the pages. As I did I noticed that a single passage had been circled by a black marker, and my son noticed it, too. He asked why, and I said that whatever the author had written meant quite a bit to the reader, or was in some way very profound (that took a bit of explanation). As we stood in line to buy it, I read the passage: "A soldier's life is not a pleasant one. It is always, at best, one of privations and hardships. The emotions of patriotism and pleasure hardly counterbalance the toil and suffering that he has to undergo in order to enjoy his patriotism and pleasure. Dying on the field of battle and glory is about the easiest duty a soldier has to undergo. It is the living. marching, fighting, shooting soldier that has the hardships of war to carry. When a brave soldier is killed he is at rest. The living soldier knows not at what moment he, too, may be called on to lay his life on the altar of his country. The dead are heroes, the living are but men compelled to do the drudgery and suffer the privations incident to the thing called "glorious war."- Sam Watkins. Profound indeed.

I mentioned before that this was a holiday weekend. Well, it was Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day, the day set aside to honor every American soldier that "lay his life on the altar of his country". I have to admit that like most Americans, I did very little to honor the memory of those heroes, and even less to thank those service people who may not have made the ultimate sacrifice, but served proudly and carry/carried a burden that I will never know for the rest of their lives. And to all of them I say I'm sorry for my thoughtlessness, my selfishness. And I would like to say thank you. Very much.

The Republic of Texas

A little Texas smack from The Onion: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/texas_constructs_u_s_border_wall?utm_source=slate_rss_1. Texans do have their faults, that's undeniably true. Good looking women ain't one of them.

Flight Attendant Gripes

A flight attendant reads the riot act about idiot passengers, with these seven do's and don'ts: http://www.budgettravel.com/bt-dyn/content/article/2009/05/06/AR2009050603392.html?wpisrc=newsletter. Fair enough and points taken. I'm on board (get it? get it?) with calling out nimrods who screw up stuff for everyone else and it's a constant source of amazement at how careless and unthinking and sometimes inconsiderate people can be while travelling. That said, Miss Uppity Flight Attendant, I'd like to mention a few things about your fellow comrades in arms (note that the following generally does not include employees of Southwest Airlines who typically embody a positive and helpful attitude). First, I know that you're burned out, you're still doing this because your husband dumped you for a newer model, you're ass has broadened out to the point where only curtain ring salesmen are hitting on you, your sorority sisters don't have to work and can get lifts and tucks done every six months, and the A/C is out on the '01 Volvo and you can't afford a new compressor and that's not good if you're working out of the DFW hub. I know all that. But, that doesn't mean you can have a snarly, don't give a shit attitude and expect me to fly your goddamn airline-- are you hearing me American Airlines and your legions of pissy employees? Good. Maybe think about doing something about it. Also, it wouldn't hurt if you managed to bump a few of your grouchy old crabs for some newer versions; sort of like this young lady. Just saying.

More Miracles from Across the Pond

The Sun reports on further advances in science: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2428954.ece. This will be great.

Greatest Car Review, Ever

A lot of crap comes out of the UK (and here) but this isn't: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/driving/jeremy_clarkson/article6294116.ece?print=yes&randnum=1242604714984. Jeremy Clarkson breaks down the wonderous Honda Insight, a car coming to frothing eco-weenies soon. I can't wait.

Michael Yon

He always has insights on what's going on in Iraq and Afghanistan that you won't get anywhere else. He's currently in Borneo training with the Gurkhas. His thoughts on the new guy in charge of Afghanistan:


Every British officer I talk with asks what in the world happened with General McKiernan, and why was his relief performed so publicly. I do not know. And I do not personally know General McKiernan. I do know that these ears have never heard someone speak a foul word about him, and I talk with lots of interesting people. If he, McKiernan, was a bad general I would have heard about it.

However, General McKiernan did make some statements about additional troops to Afghanistan, and when he made those statements I remember thinking, “He’s going to get fired.” And so those statements were the first thing that came to my mind. McKiernan has been saying we need more troops than are already on the way. I do not have the training or experience to say how many troops we need in Afghanistan, but I know we could use a lot more than we have there now. Yet it did seem like General McKiernan was pushing the envelope. That doesn’t make him a bad general in my eyes. His envelope-pushing speaks of professional courage and honesty, but also one can imagine that leadership might want to keep some opinions in-house.....

Click on the link for more:

http://www.michaelyon-online.com/gates-petraeus-mckiernan-mcchrystal-and-rodriguez.htm

Little Green Fairies

No, no, I'm not about stir the possibility of gay marriage amongst those of extraterrestrial origin into the already putrid stew that is the recent public/political discourse surrounding legalized unions of happy people. Maybe another time.

Today's lesson has to do with Absinthe, the until-recently-banned-in-most-civilized-countries hallucinogen masquerading as a distilled beverage. Now legal, the NYT recently had a nice piece about Le Fee Verte, or the Green Fairy: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/13/dining/reviews/13wine.html?em.

As you have probably surmised by now, Absinthe is usually some godawful shade of green - you know, the same color that kept you from trying lima beans for the first time until 3:00 a.m., when it became quite clear that mom wasn't just whistlin' Dixie when she said you couldn't leave the table until you ate every bite. Sadly, such natural reluctance to try something that looks so awful doesn't translate to alcoholic beverages such as Absinthe. If it did, you would have huge drop off in UFO sightings near establishments that serve such stuff.

Which is another way of saying that the Green Muse is also much more than just an aperitif or happy hour cocktail. The author of the above piece and others try to clean up the drink's image, saying that Absinthe's legendary "effects" (which probably have as much to do with the drink's nickname as its color) are no more than the result of high alcohol content. I know better, and I speak from experience.

I have been know to occasionally join up with a few like-minded buddies to travel across the big waters for the purpose of soaking in some of the Old World's culture, sights, history, and - more importantly - alcohol (hey, most of us are married). In the course of hitting every beer joint and bar that we are able, I have seen most of my traveling companions after a hard night of "sampling" and know how they react to a bit of overindulgence - exhaustion, silliness, increased intelligence, the usual stuff. Never had I seen depravity, anger or violence until we wondered into an Absinthe Bar in Barcelona a couple of years ago. Wild night - ended up that evening - well, me and 4 other guys - trying to restrain a guy bent on beating the living shit out of everyone he saw, including us. Also spent the wee hours of the morning explaining to hotel management why every guest was awake at 4:30 a.m., complaining about the madman on the fourth floor who was screaming - not very nice stuff, btw - at the top of his lungs. Suffice to say we were out of the hotel by 9:00.

So there you have it. Next time you find yourself a little short on bathtub crank or PCP, give ol' Eau de Wormwood a shot. Hey, it's legal.

Some Economic Ramblings

Price Fishback (WTF?) says we're not going to end up eating road kill in this short, to the point analysis of the current economic woes: http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/11/this-is-not-another-great-depression/?pagemode=print.

I was never any good in economics. I think I made A's and B's in undergrad but it was a struggle. In grad school, microeconomic theory came pretty close to deep sixing me--I hated that class then and I hate the son of a bitch today. Goddamn, I hated it. After I made it out, I was rummaging around in the little storeroom of my first house and saw the textbook for that class lying on a shelf. Right then and there, I decided that it was time for Mr. Microeconomics Smarty Pants to get a return lesson. The book, all classic and scholarly looking found itself sitting upright next to a mesquite tree on a friend's ranch--I'm sure it thought, "why the awful field trip to this god forsaken cactus infested place?" right up to the point where it saw me standing about fifty yards away with a Remington 700, chambered with 150 grain 30.06 Federal bullets. "You're a long way from goddamn Cambridge, now, aren't you motherfucker?" were the last words the son of a bitch ever heard. As an old cowboy once told me, "There's just some things that need killing."

For the record, a 30.06 will kill a micro textbook. I shot it three times for good measure.

Out of Port

Some ramblings on Port: http://www.thesmartset.com/article/article05050901.aspx. I like port okay and get into a port mood, usually during the winter when I decide to do some reading in the room in our house where I'm normally not allowed to enter--you know, the nice living room that the missus has all of the nice furniture and decorative shit where you entertain some friend of hers and the friend's nerd husband once or twice a year over coffee after a goddamn dinner that would never f----g end. Yes, so I go in there and read something about the Marines storming Iwo or Texas Rangers chasing Comanches or some medieval era blood bath; all over a stiff glass of port. I've never been able to figure out what a "good" port is, so I've ended up buying stuff that's not the cheapest, but certainly not high dollar. Also, unlike the picture of traditional port drinkers, I usually guzzle at least three whiskey tumblers of it breaking all sensible port etiquette along the way. Now, after reading this piece I at least know that I can score points whenever I'm confronted by a snooty waiter with a stern inquiry as to why his establishment is not serving an '85 Fonseca or at least a '94?

Right now though in this part of the country, we're way past talking port or really anything that doesn't come cold and quick. It's ice cooler time.

Gemma Redux

Calm down, degenerates--here's another one for you. Should tide you over for the weekend.

Hanson on Republican Demise

Victor Davis Hanson is a good writer--I'd recommend his "Carnage and Culture" book highly. He also pens some stuff for the NR site, this time weighing in on how the Republicans lost their edge and offering up some things they may want to consider doing: http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=YTE0MGY1Y2Y0NDUxNzdkNzk4ZWI4OGQ2YzA4YzA4YzE=&w=MQ. He says they really lost their mojo and credibility when they forfited their economic bearings and behaved like free spenders. No argument there. He also mentions an inability to "articulate" their message. Hanson is being kind here--what he really means is that Bush couldn't talk his way out of a paper sack. Beyond the capitulation on spending, Bush failed (I think) because he could not inspire and convince; a Ronald Reagan he was not. You need that in a president, regardless of party. Whether you agree with him or not, that's what Obama brings to the table, in spades and why he will have staying power as president and again as his party's nominee in 2012. He'll stumble, he'll screw up, he'll head down wrong paths but the guy can explain himself and he can inspire both his base and those beyond it. If the Republicans want to get back into the game, they'll need to identify candidates that can do the same. Right now, I can't think of who they have that would be able to stack up to Obama. Palin comes closest in terms of just pure star quality but her gravitas (haven't heard that word in a while, have you?) comes into play.

I met Ronald Reagan once in the Waco Hall men's room. There was no tapping involved.

More Baseball Stuff

Here's a preview of the upcoming Houston versus San Diego series that I did for SnS: http://www.spikesnstars.com/2009/05/08/team-going-to-hell-padres-needed/. For you soccer types, Houston is not playing well (shocking) and there's some unhappiness with management. Lots of inside references, so let me know if you need a translation.

Bosom News

I thought about titling this, "Busted" but thought better of it: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1178499/BRA-VO-Victory-women-Mail-M-S-axes-big-bust-surcharge.html. Big busted gals in England got mad because bra manufacturers were charging more for their sizes due to "extra material and engineering." None of my business what goes on over there but I do appreciate some of their finer imports, notably the lovely and talented Ms. Gemma Atkinson. Happy Friday.

Art Matters

Seems like Van Gogh didn't cut his ear off after all: Gauguin did it for him: http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/news/was-truth-the-biggest-casualty-in-the-case-of-vincent-and-his-severed-ear-1678988.html. I've seen a butt-load of Van Goghs and Gauguins and all of the other mainly Frog impressionists via travelling exhibits from Paris, New York, and Chicago to museums here in Red State flyover country. Interesting stuff to look at. In fact, I saw a self portrait of Van Gogh (I think it was his first) in Fort Worth back in October and the thing is stunning to look at--I was transfixed by the it--Mrs. Taras thought I might have been on dope. When you stand right up to some of these things, the effect is a little bit different than looking at them in a magazine. I don't care for much in terms of modern stuff, though. I've seen a lot of the Jackson Pollock paint splatterings there in Houston and it doesn't make any sense to me. What the hell do I know, though? I went to bidness school.

Phallus Facts

Here's some stuff you may or may not know about your special friend http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=secrets-of-the-phallus including a thrilling discussion of "semen displacement theory." Whatever the case, it seems like the old joke about the "little head doing the thinking for the big head" may not be all that far off the mark.

Special Cinco de Mayo Edition

It's Cinco de Mayo, officially in recognition of the Battle of Puebla http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Puebla but really an excuse to drink and celebrate whatever it is to be of Mexican descent or enjoy Mexican culture. Mrs. Taras happens to fall into that category, so I know a little something about it. Salud!

Selective Memory

Bret Stephens at the WSJ on the amnesia currently gripping Washington in light of the awfulness of the Unites States being mean to Islamofascists and denying them fresh dates and virgins: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124087384453961191.html. Stephens is a guy I like to read at the Journal and he's had some fairly significant experience in the middle east and Washington.

Magic

Nice little piece from Wired on illusionists, particularly Penn and Teller: http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/magazine/17-05/ff_neuroscienceofmagic?currentPage=all. I'm a sucker for magic acts. I recall an assembly back at Bane Elementary, a repository for ignorant redneck children, where we had a husband and wife magic act billed as "John and Sheree" that was introduced as having been on the Ed Sullivan Show. I always wondered if that was bullshit or not, but they were nevertheless entertaining as every magic act I've ever seen has been (can you imagine the horror of having seen the lights of Broadway and then to later find yourself performing tricks at a 10AM assembly in some prairie hell hole? I've thought of them often through the years, wondering if they decided to ditch the magic deal and wander back to Toledo or wherever to sell Buicks or something, but I digress mightily). That's the thing that illusionists (and pickpockets) live by: the inability of people to comprehend or process what they just witnessed.

Next time I'm in Vegas, I'm going to see Penn and Teller or some magic act just to sit slack jawed and stupid while enjoying a cocktail. That's an easy trick for me.

Borat Grows Up

This could be good: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/sacha-baron-cohen-the-men-in-his-life-1675107.html. About time: nothing coming out of Hollywood is really cutting it.

Special May Day Edition

Get in touch with your inner socialist today. Listen to some Pete Seger, eat some goddamn tofu, proclaim Paul Krugman as your love interest--you know, put those capitalist running dogs on the run. Meanwhile, here's a girl named, Natacha. Must be a commie, right? Probably doesn't matter. Bet she has a knife under her pillow, though, so watch out.