Tyranny

That's what's going on at my house now as Mrs. Taras commandeers every television in the house in order to blanket the premises with Australian Open tennis coverage. This happens with each of these awful exercises which also includes the US and Frog Opens and of course, Wimbledon. The Aussie exhibition is the first, and it's summer down under. Not only summer but apparently the hottest summer on record and the tennisistas are dropping left and right--many have "retired" during their matches--that's tennis speak for quitting like a dog. Last night, our household was privileged to view the quarterfinal match up between Ruskie, Svetlana Kuznetsova and Serena Williams, the American of significant accomplishment on the court and the unquestionable ability to crush your skull between her considerable Nubian breasts and otherwise whip your sorry white ass without causing much fuss to whatever outfit she's wearing. This contest was held at center court on a nice, sunny day with the temp at 107 degrees and court side reading at 140. Yes, 140. Though the Aussies had built this palace at considerable expense to include a retractable roof and aire acondicionado, they inexplicably decided to opt for sun and death until someone with a at least a working knowledge of common sense apparently convinced the nitwit in charge (probably directly related to the guy who refused to hand out ammo to the 24th Foot at Isandlwana because he hadn't received a proper order) to close the goddamn roof and turn on the A/C. Soon, both players revived a little, notably Williams who came alive and thrashed the very Russian looking Kuznetsova. Though obviously a good hand on the court, Svetlana has that severe countenance of a Soviet bent on killing Nazis and cheerfully engaging in competitive looting. No doubt she's thoroughly checked out on the Kalishnikov and gets hot when thinking about Lenin. Anyway, Williams is now set to play another Russian in the semis, Elena Dementieva--in fact Serena is the lone non-Ruskie left. I don't like Russians, especially their tennis players. I'm quite sure they cheat a lot, probably poisoning opposing players prior to matches or even knifing them if they can get away with it. If I were Williams, I would dispense with the tennis business and just walk up to the net and jack Dementieva's jaw right away and not let up until she screamed, "Ivan."