Baseball Demands Good Ass

Apparently, on its ballplayers:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/browbeat/archive/2010/04/08/what-can-you-learn-from-staring-at-a-baseball-player-s-butt.aspx?obref=obnetwork. Essentially, some wise heads in baseball think that if a player doesn't have a nice ass, he ain't going to make it. Buck Showalter, a former major league manager, buys into this and thinks Derek Lee of the Cubs has the hottest butt in the game. If you haven't yet bought into the notion that baseball is a peculiar game with some long standing traditions and lore, then I guess you're now on board.

I played baseball and don't have much of an ass which is now understandably why I never amounted to anything in the game past high school. There's also the thing about not being able to hit a curve ball very well but that obviously pales in comparison to lacking in the ass department.

I would post a photo of the ass-intensive Derek Lee--he's really a good guy and a great ballplayer but he also happens to play for the Cubs, a team that I despise as much as the Yankees, the Red Sox, the former Soviet Dynamo, the Cy-Fair Bobcats, and the current North Korean Army Bayonet squad. Instead, here's one of Jason Jennings, now toiling in the A's minor league system and formerly of the Rockies, Astros, and Rangers. I watched him when he pitched for Houston and he had an enormously large butt for a white guy along with an overall shitty attitude. That made it easy to call him "lard ass." I would watch Jennings getting shelled yet again and yell, "Lard Ass!" at the television. Advice: don't do this at the exact same moment the missus enters the room. This, I now know.