Flo and Other Possibly Irrational Thoughts

I've always thought that the actress who plays "Flo" in the Progressive Insurance commercials would have about thirty or so tattoos, numerous piercings in the lady parts, and at least two hundred sexual encounters--most with very overweight hipster guys on a hideously stained couch in a rental house near a large university that smelled like old bong water. Guess I'm not correct on that:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20301774,00.html?xid=rss-fullcontent. Other stuff that proves there is something wrong with me:

1. I've decided that I don't like basketball. I played it and have watched it my entire life but now would rather do most anything other than take in a game. I blame it on the baggy shorts.

2. I still insist on using a paper calendar even though I've got a calendar staring straight at me on my computer and one on my iPhone. I cross off each day but will not do so until the morning of the next day. This is sort of like not touching the baselines when going to and from the field in baseball.

3. I won't eat a banana if its bruised or overly spotted. I will, however, put the same in a protein shake.

4. If presented with a berry cobbler, I will eat the entire contents regardless of size at one sitting or before the end of that day. I am not interested in sharing it, either.

5. I find Tina Fey disturbingly provocative.

6. I am reasonably sure that Sen. Harry Reid has some type of really weird sexual fetish or perversion. Of course, this isn't exactly novel in his line of work.

7. I have a recurring dream that I suddenly recall that I own a second home. I go to check it out and find that it is an old frame house that sits unoccupied on a corner in a not so nice part of town. I go into the house and it has 60s era furniture and appliances and for some reason, a basement. The basement is much larger than the house and there is a wide hall running down the middle with a succession of rooms on each side. At the end of the hallway, a light is on in one of the rooms and it is evident that someone is in there. Creeps me out.

8. I have waded through more gore from eviscerating game and fish than most and have bled like a stuck hog from numerous mishaps but getting pricked with a needle always gets me light headed. Embarrassing.

9. Unlike Fey, there are numerous Hollywood starlets that are considered bombshells that I find utterly unattractive and unappealing. Cameron Diaz is one. Jennifer Garner, another.

That's enough for now. I'll save the really bad stuff for another time.